Hello,
So recently this last year I had my very first orgasm. (on my own)...forever, I wanted to find out what I was missing out on..and while everything else was still pleasureable enough, it was nice to know that my body can work properly. The only thing is, I'm struggling to have one with my boyfriend. I can't have one through sexual intercourse, and it takes me awhile through any other kinda stimulation.
So while curiosity got to me, I decided to purchase a vibrator. Just a simple small one that vibrates...and OMG! it is amazing..I can have an orgasm in like 2 minutes or less and its a good one every time! My bf has responded with comments like " hm, thats just a little strange "....I've told him its not his problem, but mine because my body is the way it is. He has made every effort to please me, and even without an orgasm, that is fine, cause everything is still very good. We have a great sexual connection which is awesome.
My interest is bringing the vibrator in the bedroom so after he's done, I can get a greater pleasure in the end...but I'm not sure if he's up for that. I honestly don't want him to feel bad...b/c its not his fault...it just takes a TON of stimulation for me to get off at all.
Any opinons on this or suggestions? If you're a guy, how would you feel if your woman brought that into the situation?
Wed, 12/26/2007 - 19:56
#1
Unsure how bf feels about vibrator...
Speaking for myself, I feel a little threatened by the idea of getting a vibrator or such for my girlfriend out of fear of being replaced. Could be just my own insecurity but i'm sure other men have felt the same. However, it's kind of obsessive behaviour and not for the benefit for either partner, besides from the man's ego.
If you are planning on introducing a vibrator into your sex life than I suggest letting your boyfriend take the reigns with it and allow him to pleasure you with it. This ensures that he will feel involved and not left out or neglected.
Please review the sticky posts entitled The Program and Bodyworship.
Now then - introducing a vibe into the mix is nothing untoward - quite common, in fact - but leaving its application in the hands of your bf is the best situation - unless you want to use it on him - which is another option.
To have an orgasm through sex, you have to RELAX, and PERMIT yourself to have one. If you try, you're not relaxed enough and/or not aroused enough.
Step 1 - mentally prepare yourself by thinking upon how nice sex feels and how wonderful he is, and how good it is to enjoy eachother - how pleased you will be.
Step 2 - give yourself permission to orgasm. Most women have this idea in the back of their heads that having orgasm easily means they're "easy". Nothing of the sort! I cannot stress this point enough. So many women have this idea that it is positively horrendous. The clitoris, the G-Spot, and the posterior fornix have no other function except to make sex a pleasure for women. Orgasms are you birthright, as it were.
Step 3 - whatever works, works. That's fine - just TELL and SHOW your partner. If a vibe is wanted - fine. So be it! Be inclusive and reciprocative. If he has to caress you for hours, then be prepared to caress him for hours in truen. Fair is fair.
To recap: to a bit of sexual daydreaming; give yourself permission to orgasm; enjoy your partner fully!
y not just use it while ur having sex... in many positions u can use the vib and have sex at the same time....its fun