I've been having sex for almost 2 years now, and i'm still nervous and unsure about being on top, even with my boyfriend, whenever I try to do it , I think I am doing a terrible job and stop right away , I know I could do a better job, but I'm so uptight I dont know how to just let loose and go crazy. any advice?!?!?!!?!?!
Tue, 09/16/2008 - 04:08
#1
unsure about going on top
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> I've been having sex for almost 2 years now, and i'm still nervous and unsure about being on top, even with my boyfriend, whenever I try to do it , I think I am doing a terrible job and stop right away , I know I could do a better job, but I'm so uptight I dont know how to just let loose and go crazy. any advice?
I bet you want to please your boyfriend and be perfect for him. This is just not realistic! Two years have elapsed and you are still up tight and nervous and unsure? What's going on in your relationship that keeps you from just relaxing and enjoying each other? Although the article was written for a couple in which one person has more experience than the other, the information it contains is relevant for you, experienced or not.
Please click on the Home page link and then go to the section that depicts the many illustrated animated sexual positions. I believe you will learn a lot from them.
It sounds like you have an issue with self esteem and confidence. True or not, you do need to understand that a successful relationship is a partnership and as such making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other. Communication is key--verbal or non-verbal. I strongly recommend that the two of you begin talking about your apprehensions and agree to explore and learn together.
I tell my dance students that they should not go to a dance to "dance"; instead, they should attend a dance to "practice". The mindset for a man is that "if I have to go dance, it means I have to 'perform', and I know I can't dance very good so why embarrass myself and her, so I'm not even going to get off my chair and try." IF the same guy goes to practice, the mindset is that he can goof up any number of times and if he makes a mistake so what, just dust myself off and go on--no harm, no foul.
You need to adopt a similar outlook. Do not be so critical of yourself.
You probably can do a better job--eventually, if you "practice". And, what about other positions? Are you going to balk and be self critical with these also? Your boyfriend will be pleased that you are pleased and/or enjoying the moment. If he senses you are not for whatever reason, he will be miserable and self doubting also. Do not do this to yourself or him. Making love in all of its various aspects is learned and we become better with practice. After two years you should be farther along than you are in your relationship and trust.
Confidence will come to you if you practice being confident. It may not be a comfortable thing to do at first, yet if you PRACTICE being confident in what you do, you will soon find that you are. So, go practice--in more ways than one.
Get really horny!!
If you're really, ridiculously, "need it in you right now" horny, then there should be nothing stopping you from completely ravaging his penis!
YUP!
Definitely what she said.
hey how can you get better if you don't practice, and your boyfriend will be happy that he is getting some
being on top is thee tops you are not going crazy you are controlling things. I love it the view is nice and the closeness you feel is so good. All i can say is sex on top is thee way to start for me.
I'll be honest:Being on top isn't the greatest thing in the world.You feel so self conscious because your boobs are flopping all over (lmaool), and you feel liek your not pleasing him at all.My guy and I alternate:If your gonna be on top, here's a tip for you.
when you feel yourself getting really, really close, or your guy is, flip so that he's on top.It heightens teh pleasure an dwhen you climax/orgasm it's 1,000x's better.
<333,Serenity
[QUOTE=SerenityxXxMarie;225061]I'll be honest:Being on top isn't the greatest thing in the world.You feel so self conscious because your boobs are flopping all over (lmaool), and you feel liek your not pleasing him at all.My guy and I alternate:If your gonna be on top, here's a tip for you.
when you feel yourself getting really, really close, or your guy is, flip so that he's on top.It heightens teh pleasure an dwhen you climax/orgasm it's 1,000x's better.
<333,Serenity[/QUOTE]
I never feel like this. Maybe you do. I feel completely confident and in control, almost makes me feel like a goddess the way I KNOW I'm pleasing him and the way he looks up at me in admiration.
I think my boobs look hot and my boyfriend loves grabbing them and seeing them bounce when I'm on top.
Speaking of which, KISSMEDOWNTHR while you're on top you should grab his hands and put them on your boobs or your hips or butt, he'll love that I'm sure.
ive posted a similar post myself before seeing this one, the advice given is highly helpful :D