have been with my partner now for about five years and were pretty much in it for the long term now.we have both been discussing (on and off) the possibility of trying sex without a condom as shes been on the pill for some time now.
i think shes a bit daunted by the question of "where does it end up?". were not sure if it kind of trickles out or just sits there. shes worried in case it 'gets trapped' and she may either get an infection or it may linger until her pill wears off.
i cant see it being much of a problem as this seems to be the norm with most people in long term relationships. is there anything i can say that will reassure her?
sperm can last in the body for something like up to 5 days i think...someone else know the exact number of days? but yes some of it does trickle out..but the sperm can still survive in the body for several days. she should be taking the pill constantly...you can't just stop and start.
Yes it does leak out and commonly what I called "the drippies" lol
A lot of women who are in LTR and aren't worried about STDs only use the pill. The semen won't give you an infection... it's meant to be in there :P
It won't linger until the pill wears off... yes sperm can survive in there for a few days...but you have to take into consideration of how the pill works.
First and mostly, it stops you from ovulating..so there isn't an egg to fertilize.
Second, it thickens the mucous plug that covers the cervix, making it harder for sperm to pass through.
Last, it thins the lining of the uterus. Therefore if an egg happened to get fertilized, it has a hard time implanting itself to grow. That is usually why periods are lighter/easier while on the pill.
If your g/f is taking her pills religiously, then there shouldn't be a problem. The problem comes like you said, if sperm are lingering and she is late taking a pill, or misses one all together, then an egg can pop out at any time.
If you/her want extra protection from pregnancy but want to not use a condom, she could always use some sort of spermicidal jelly,foam, insert, etc... to backup what you are already using.
People had been having sex for millenia before the invention of the condom.
I have 2 things to say:
1) If she really is worried about "where it goes" then there is something she can do. Keigles in warm clean non-soapy bathwater after sex. Is this a reliable form of birth control? No! But it does make you feel cleaner after the fact if you don't like the drippies as demon calls them. And your pill doesn't "wear off" even during the week off. So if she took them religiously for the 3 on weeks you don't need to use a condom on the 1 off week.
2) I have a friend who just can't trust the pill. She will readily admit that it's all in her head. But she feels like with a condom she can account for the sperm and if it leaks she goes to the morning after pill. But she doesn't know for sure that the pill is working and she'd spend every month holding her breath for her period.
In the end it isn't about you convincing her. This is her decision. If things fail she is the one with a child inside her. And it's always better that she use her right to choose in the contraception process then need to use it after conception. You have said your piece now it's up to her. Please don't pressure her.
If you can AFFORD to have a child and YOU as a team are ready to accept a pregnancy...then it's NO PROBLEM TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX! end of story..if there is ANY concerns about the above...then keep wrapping it!
100 women using the pill properly for a year while sexually active will produce three pregnancies. If that is acceptable, have at it. Most women in stable relationships and on the pill use not other protection.
Sorry but sperm is viable for 8 hours outside of him. Yes it can be a bit 'messy' but hey - this is sex and messy it frequently is. The fun makes it all worthwhile!