I've noticed that there are several threads in this forum where males talk about penis size and ask the question "Am I too small?". However, I have also noticed that most of these men seem to be asking this question while throwing in numbers ranging from 6 to 12 inches when erect. To me it seems like they are posing the question under a veil of humility while actually parading around their equipment.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest I would like to ask the same question that everyone else has asked tens of thousands of times "Am I too small?" However, I would like to post this question as a representative of the underdogs out there, who really have to wonder if they are capable of pleasing a woman sexually.
This question is being put forth by a 19 year old Asian-American male who has been ashamed of his penis for years. From base to tip I am four inches when erect and one inch when flacid. In terms of thickness I cannot accurately report, though I can say that I'm thicker than a roll of quarters but no where near a fifty-cent piece.
I've always heard "It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it." I've heard missionary, doggy, and cowgirl work, though I can't imagine many other positions that aren't unaffected by physical limitations.
Also I've heard that "thickness is what matters". No one wants to be having sex with a pencil. However, what is considered "thin" when considering thickness? How do you make up for the lack of what you pack in intercourse? Without length, and without thickness, am I able to please a woman in intercourse?
I do realize that my tone is slightly bitter and that my questions are less than direct. For that I appologize. Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my questions.
I have addressed this matter many times. "Normal" is a range and the range is based upon ethnicity and genetics. Being a member of the Asian community, and Mongoloid stock, your penis will be at one end of the range while blacks will be at the other. Caucasian males fall in the middle range--AND! all of these basic measurements are modified by a person's genetics.
So, size matters to a woman in that her man's penis only need be long enough for her to grasp because women consider the penis as a combination throttle and brake over which they have complete control over a man's arousal.
What matters most is that the man learn how to be a skilled, compasionate, caring, lover and know how to use what Mother Nature gave him. This is what matters most.
First I do not believe that guys ask if their to small for the sake of flaunting their penis size, fact is penis size is a very sensitive issue with many men. Now I would recommend becoming less bitter ;), try it, may help . Truth is I've never discussed penis size with women in great detail. I have heard many women say size does matter, and vice versa. I also believe that "penis size doesn't matter" campaign is partly to make men with smaller penises feel better. You really should not feel ashamed of your penis, I know whats its like, I'm uncircumcised and live in the states so I was very uncomfortable with myself for a year or so. Whats thick will depend on the woman. There are many many men with smaller penises who are happily sexually active and please women, why couldn't you?
[QUOTE=briguy;156264]... it seems like they are posing the question under a veil of humility while actually parading around their equipment.[/quote]
I think you are right. I mean, not literally parading. At least not until they start trying to put photos lifted from porn sties in as their avatars ....
My impression, which is nothing but another impression:
One thing I think is interesting is the little poll on this very site, in which women (or at least people claiming to be) expressed their preference. Of course, it's a highly unscientific poll, but it does reveal that tastes vary, and they center pretty close to the average range. Basically, about 1/3 vote for < 6", 1/3 for 6"-7" and 1/3 for over 7".
More impressionistically, it does seem that -- even to the limited extent women do care -- it's just one among many things they care about, and probably not that high on the list, at least for most. That is, depending on the woman, she may care more about whether the guy has dark (or light) hair, chiseled abs, an ability to make jokes, a Mercedes, the ability to sing heavy metal, a dependable inside layup, a beard ... or any of a couple hundred other things which are different for different women.
Anyway, that's my impression.
Also, and incidentally, I don't think there are any reliable studies that show a meaningful correlation between race and penis size, and there are some that show the opposite. Even if there is, it's a weak correlation.
So where am I able to find that poll you speak of? And when I do find it are there names and telephone numbers pasted alongside the results? =P Lol j/k.
I think that the study Nizegie was talking about is very interesting. However, this also brings up another topic that I'd wish to inquire about.
I'm sure most people have heard of "yellow fever" and if they haven't I reccommend watching it on youtube.com for a laugh. Anyways, I was wondering if there is actually a stigma out there against asian men that prohibits them from having relationships with non-asian women. And if there is a stigma, is it because of the stereotype that asians are short stacked?
I've heard that this stigma is purely imaginary, and that it's actually the asian man's low confidence level that spawns such a conclusion. In other words, an asian guy defeats himself before trying, and that is why he fails. While I do acknowledge the common sense in this view I don't think it is entirely true. In this somewhat shallow world we live in, I am inclined to believe that there is some prejudice, even if it is only to take some of the blame off of myself. Thoughts anyone?
I will probably get yelled for this but I doubt anyone will say the blunt truth. Here it goes.
My ex was pretty much the same, actually a bit smaller. He was Thai. He was also my first (gag me please). The first time we did it, I didn't bleed, I didn't feel much actually, and I am pretty tight. He also lacked skills, and wasn't willing to aquire them. When I got with my guy, the first time felt as if I was a virgin, it hurt so bad.
So yes, size does matter. And being as you are, you are at the disadvantage. So you need to make sure to learn how to really please a woman, so that the size will not matter.
I'm sorry hun. But you can turn it around. Learn all you can from here, and be willing to try new things with the girl.
Btw, I didn't leave my ex because of his size. There were a lot of other issues, but I was very upset that he wasn't even willing to try to learn how to please me.
[QUOTE=LittleFury;156344]I will probably get yelled for this but I doubt anyone will say the blunt truth. Here it goes.
My ex was pretty much the same, actually a bit smaller. He was Thai. He was also my first (gag me please). The first time we did it, I didn't bleed, I didn't feel much actually, and I am pretty tight. He also lacked skills, and wasn't willing to aquire them. When I got with my guy, the first time felt as if I was a virgin, it hurt so bad.
So yes, size does matter. And being as you are, you are at the disadvantage. So you need to make sure to learn how to really please a woman, so that the size will not matter.
I'm sorry hun. But you can turn it around. Learn all you can from here, and be willing to try new things with the girl.
Btw, I didn't leave my ex because of his size. There were a lot of other issues, but I was very upset that he wasn't even willing to try to learn how to please me.[/QUOTE]
I am glad that you decided to be honest especially when you felt you'd "get yelled for this". And if you don't mind, I would like to ask about your circumstance in more detail so that I may avoid the mistakes that your ex made.
First off, what positions did you two try together? With this knowledge I'd know what men of my stature are capable of.
Secondly, what exactly do you mean by saying that "he lacked skills"? Did he simply enter and thrust with abandon? And on a follow up question, how would one theoretically gain skill (without becoming too promiscuous)?
Finally, was that your ex's first time as well? Maybe his mistakes were bred from ignorance. Or maybe he didn't give you enough time to "warm up" and that's why you didn't enjoy it more.
In any case all you can provide for me is peace of mind. I'm glad to know that there are people like me, so maybe the dancing doc was correct, and I am normal sized for my racial strata.
I will try to answer it as well as I can, but I don't have much time right now. Msg me if you want more things explains.
Ok, here it goes.
We mostly tried the reverse cowgirl position, and me on my back with him kind of sitting up, because... well, that was all he was capable of.
We were both virgins, and it pretty much was that, or at least I had to do all the work to get him off. His lack of skills wasn't just bred by him being a virgin. We were together for 6 months after we started to have sex. I had several books that I got, he didn't read any of them. He also refused to try anything new, refused any suggestions that I had. I had to learn to fake, or I would have paid for it. Yes, the relationship was abusive, never actually hit me, but I was screamed at, held down, all the "fun" stuff.
I didn't enjoy it becuase it was always about him. How can I enjoy something if I always give, and I never got it back.
My guy and I, we had a rough start, mainly becuase physically I felt like a virgin. But it didn't stop us from having really great sex only third or fourth time into it. And yes, I enjoyed it, but he cared about what I needed and he took time to satisfy me and figure out what I enjoyed too.
You can learn from just reading around here, getting a few books. And this will sound so girly, but maybe you can also get some erotica directed towards women. And just ask a girl what she enjoyes and be willing to try new things.
[QUOTE=briguy;156341]So where am I able to find that poll you speak of?[/quote]
It's the third one here:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/po_femaleprefs.shtml
There are some other interesting (though mostly not surprising) ones. If you poke around a little, you can find the "for men" ones and vote in 'em too.
[quote]And when I do find it are there names and telephone numbers pasted alongside the results? =P Lol j/k.[/quote]
You need to get in good with the site admins to get that!
On the racial stereotype thing ... I think they mostly arise out of a built-in fear of the "other tribe." Some may have an element of truth to them, but they all overlook the massive variation within different populations. Say you measure some characteristic, and:
Group A's mean is 55, with a standard deviation 20 (normally distributed)
Group B's mean is 45, with standard deviation 20 (normally distributed)
That looks like a pretty significant difference. Still:
31% of the Group A members will be under 45 (below Group B average).
31% of the Group B members will be over 55 (above Group A average)
Even getting to outliers:
6.7% of the Group A members will be over 85
2.3% of the Group B members will be over 85
And that's even before getting to the point that many of the physical differences people perceive among races are purely anecdotal, based on discredited prejudices and unsupported by reliable data.
I'm really glad you left him Fury. He really does sound like a grade A *******. I will defintely keep everything that you told me in mind if and when the time comes to use that information. It sounds like the lack of enjoyment regarding the physical relationship you had with your ex stemmed mostly from problems in his stubborness and demanding attitude. I'll have to hope that if I stay away from those problems I will be capable, and my special somebody won't have to fake it. Thanks =)
Nizegie, were those statistics purely hypothetical or is there an actual statistical study done correlating the physical differences among races? However, even if statistics go to show that these differences aren't directly related to race, that doesn't change the fact that stereotypes still exist. And don't you believe that in the long run prejudice will trump statistics?
I've heard somewhere that humans create stereotypes because our brains are only capable of processing a limited amount of information, and thus we need to come up with stereotypes as general guides to the truth. Stereotypes are created based on observations people have made about the past, and they are guides to what people will believe in the future.While in a case by case study these prejudices aren't necessarily true, more often than not stereotypes can be a reliable way of viewing people.
This is defintely getting off topic, so I suppose I'll summarize my point really quickly. Because asian men are stereotyped as being less gifted in a sexual sense people aren't going to stop believing based on statistics. Asian men will continue to be confined to women of their race.
Just to clarify:
- I don't believe there is any reliable study that shows a racial difference in penis size, and there are some that say there isn't.
- The statistics I posted about "Group A" and "Group B" were just general hypothetical figures, to make the point that even if one group on average is "bigger" (or faster, stronger, heavier, groovier) than another, lots of individuals in the "small" group may be bigger than the average for the "big" group.
- I find racial stereotypes dangerous, particularly when they're about a characteristic that is ordinarily "invisible," because that makes them so difficult to overcome. Okay, penis size is probably not the biggest deal in the world ... there's a lot more at play when people have racial stereotypes about things like intelligence, reliability and honesty, as they in fact do.
- "Who winds up with whom" in a romantic/sexual sense, of course, involves lots of things other than penis size.