AH! Now I see what you meant :) was confused.

The thing is, even if I can concede to the argument that some people are forced to mature for several reasons, because it's obvious, the law can not be set upon loose concepts and loopholes, or we're helping the predators. FYI, in my country, a few weeks ago, there was this public outcry against a judge and the judicial system at large, because a pedofile who was sentenced to 7 years for child abuse, got 3 years reduced off the sentance because, and I quote: "The boy had an erection." He was 13 by the way.

I understand what people are trying to say, but there is the need to draw the line, make laws and choose ages. I choose 16, because it's a good all-round age and it's about 4 to 5 years on the hormone chain... meaning, about 11 or 12 the hormones start jumping around, so it's a good age.

I may be wrong, but they, it's the way I feel.

Ughhhh....NO, NO, NO...do not tell your parents. BAD move! First for whatever reason, she has proper protection. Give her some credit. If you run off and rat her out, she will sneak around and do stuff which is not safe. Don't tell her you found anything! Don't snoop.

As her brother, depending on how close you are with her and your relationship, you can talk to her but don't lecture her. Let her know she can talk to you. I was the one who had "the talk" with my brother (not my parents) about birth control, safe sex, etc.

At 14, I tried my first beer, smoked my first cigarette, wore ridiculous make up, and had intercourse. It clamed down pretty quick I was back to a more "usual" version of myself when I turned 16.

Sera300 is right. at least she has protection and isnt going sans condom and getting stds and getting pregnant. if she is having sex or fooling around, at least shes doing it safely.

DO NOT TELL YOUR PARENTS. as sera said, bad move!

Just a thought:

One very cool thing you could do is let her know that she can call you and you will come pick her up and drive back home at anytime of day.

It's not much of a big thing, it's not moralizing but many a girl can use a lift back home when she doesn't feel like crashing at boy's after a party.

And please, if it does happen, don't freak out, and dont ask her tons of silly questions while driving back home. (lol. just in case you'd be tempted)

We all know that there is no 100% full way to prevent pregnancy. So even though your younger sister is using condoms, pregnacy is an issue. At such a young age, getting pregnant could put a stopper in her life.

Do you know who she is sleeping with, if anyone? That would be a good place to start so you don't jump to conclusions.

As you are the older, it is kind of your duty to protect your younger sister.

Let's say for example that she is having sex, but it is with a much older guy. At 14, all she is really thinking (if this scenario is correct) is that this much older man loves me and wants to be with ME.

Well, now we are involved in statuatory Rape. So, as for telling the parents, you too are now responsible if you are to conceal it.

My advice, sit down, have a talk with her. See what is going on in her head. Being a rebel (as you said) already is one way for a teen going through the first change, of acting out. Who are her influences for doing such things? A nice respectable conversation is what is needed, and since you are already keen to some aspects, you should be the one to step up.

Telling your Parents is NOT your first move, but I would not Rule it out COMPLETELY as stated before. If the scenario warrants it, you may just save her life in the end....

If you have normal parents, as in she will not end up in a gutter dead in the morning, tell them. They have a right to know what's going on with their child. It is their responsibility to parent and protect their child, how can they do that if they do not know what's going on with their child. And especially if she's becoming a rebel. It's better to prevent things before they happen than deal with consequences.

The real question here is "how well does she get along with her mother?" If she has a good relationship, generally, then you should encourage her to "talk to her mother". Nothing like a older woman to guide a younger one. (Right, sera?) YOU do not tell the parents, you encourage HER to tell her parents.
That being done. You then tell her she can always talk to you, come to you for help, and call for a ride home or rescue should she need it. All you ask is that she be careful in her choices and keep you informed because she is very important to you and she is close to your heart. Then give her a big bear hug, call her by your nickname for her, and ruffle her hair.

Agreed 100% Evil! The OP has to remember as time passes his sister will be an important part of his life, don't alienate her. Let her know you are there for her & you are willing to help her out in any way you can.

As far as chatting w/mom? It's great for her to do if she has a relationship where she can discuss sex with mom...otherwise you might get her locked in her room for the next 2 years or so. Then to just catch her slipping out a window.

When I was 18 my sister was 14, I would never have told my parents if I found any of these things. She has the brains to have condoms and protection, leave her be. Only difference is I would talk to her and tell her if she needs anything she can talk to you.

[QUOTE=nina08;180090]Sera300 is right. at least she has protection and isnt going sans condom and getting stds and getting pregnant. if she is having sex or fooling around, at least shes doing it safely. [/QUOTE]
Exactly true... as soon as my younger sister started doing anything with boys, I gave her condoms and lube, no questions asked.

This does not mean she was actually sexually active, but she did have those things in her room.

Ok i understand its good there is at least "protection" in her possesion but F*CK THAT! that doesn't make any of this exceptable! No 14yr old kid should be having sex! i wouldnt rat her out but i damn sure would confront her fast ass and apply some pressure to that ass!

Find a way to scare her to bits so she wont even be thingking about sex! These kids now a days have no respect and way too much freedom!

Don't assume all kids have the balls to be a rebel after they have been confronted! The truth of the matter is these young kids arent confronted so they have no fear of there elder's! They dont run sh*t! Take her ass out to the slums and show her how people end up when they think there "Young & Smart" when in fact there "Young & Stupid"...Let's be real....14yr old girl with LUBE! think about what she may be doing with LUBE!!!!

Get real! Dont let her be!!!!
You may save her life by confronting her and being hard on her!
Dont end up on Maury Povich because someone gave you the advice to be at ease just beacuse she has "Protection"! That CHILD has no buisness even thinking of having sex yet! Damn! At 14 i was just peck kissing and was happy with that. F**king was no where in the picture!

Gee Al;

Imagine what? I was 14, responsible, and fell far from ending up in the slums of the world, in fact I continued on to be successful. Generalizations about lifestyles are inaccurate. And no, I was not just one of the lucky ones.

Perhaps she only has a sex toy, uses the condoms to cover it, and the lube for herself.

Additionally, you are not taking into consideration as men & women hit puberty their bodies are ready to reproduce, nature plays a big role in their wanting to have sex.

Uhm...I was 14 and am almost 20 and still with the same guy in a great relationship...SEX IS NATURAL--and every single teenage guy or girl is going to experiment and learn about their body and likes and dislikes. Just because you don't condone it and parents forbid it and punish her, doesn't mean she will stop. At least she has the right tools, and a concerned sibling that should be there for any questions/support she may need in the future. I know it's hard. I HATED thinking of my little brother having sex. But, you must realize it's a basic need for a human being to be sexual in nature.

When I was in college, I discovered that one of my sisters (13 y.o.) had condoms in her dresser. Naturally, I didn't tell my parents out of courtesy to her privacy, but I did have a talk with her. Just like littlechicky, I hated and STILL hate the thought of her having sex. Of course, being big brother, I tracked down the guy she was interested in and gave him an earful of my brotherly opinions. I guess it worked out alright in the end. My sister is eighteen now, and still with the same guy.

Engage! has the right idea, I think. Let her do what she wants (for the most part, if it becomes self-destructive, then I'm sure you'll step in) but be a good brother. Watch out for her, and make sure her suitors know that if they plan on using those condoms then they'll have to treat her well, or you could come pay 'em a visit.

[QUOTE=Alchemist911;181131]Ok i understand its good there is at least "protection" in her possesion but F*CK THAT! that doesn't make any of this exceptable! No 14yr old kid should be having sex! i wouldnt rat her out but i damn sure would confront her fast ass and apply some pressure to that ass!

Find a way to scare her to bits so she wont even be thingking about sex! These kids now a days have no respect and way too much freedom!

Don't assume all kids have the balls to be a rebel after they have been confronted! The truth of the matter is these young kids arent confronted so they have no fear of there elder's! They dont run sh*t! Take her ass out to the slums and show her how people end up when they think there "Young & Smart" when in fact there "Young & Stupid"...Let's be real....14yr old girl with LUBE! think about what she may be doing with LUBE!!!!

Get real! Dont let her be!!!!
You may save her life by confronting her and being hard on her!
Dont end up on Maury Povich because someone gave you the advice to be at ease just beacuse she has "Protection"! That CHILD has no buisness even thinking of having sex yet! Damn! At 14 i was just peck kissing and was happy with that. F**king was no where in the picture![/QUOTE]

just because they are young, doesnt mean that they are "young and stupid." a lot of them are actually "smart"-er than you think they are. like a bunch of other people said,sex is natural. teens now a days are maturing physically and mentally much faster than they were before. im not saying all of them are, but at least some of them are being a little bit responsible.

Alchemist - stop it. Think about what the end results of the tirade you're considering delivering could be. Why do you want your sister to become a nun? Or perhaps some twisted emotional wreck forever in the shrink's office?

What are you going to tell her? That she's some horrible depraved creature? A slut? A whore? Oh, that will go over well. Hello no self-esteem and a "sex is dirty" mindset that her husband will beat the hell out of you for as a thank you, buddy. Assuming she can find a husband.

And look at you - the pot calling the kettle black. Just because you weren't ready at 14, does not mean she isn't.
You'd hate to know what I was doing when I was 14. *very evil grin*

Stop it and do NOT do it.

The other point to all this; many post how "times have changed" and kids are ready younger, the one here being 14. Hello everyone; times have not changed, it's been the same for eons! The only difference is years ago, discussions were kept to the minimum! Your are no different at 14 today then any of us were 30 years ago or 50 years ago at the age of 14.

Just some opinions....

Instead of condoms and lube, what if it was a bottle of Jack Daniels and a few bags of Heroine.

If anyone here is a parent, instead of protecting her "privacy", answer honestly if you would want to know about your 14 year old daughter drinking Jack and snorting heroine.

Let's see the results of this... Heck, if you don't wanna know that your daughter is a drunk and drug addict, you probably would not give a damn if she was having sex either, so that is understandable.

Umm heroine is pretty extreme.
Let's say maybe he found a bag of pot or something.
Personally, when I was in high school...like 11th 12th grade... I wasn't doing anything when I was 14 LOL.
I did more drugs than sex... I didn't have sex till I met my now b/f when I was like 22.
Even tho drugs are illegal... I'd rather my kid smoke pot than be having sex at 14...but that's just me LOL. I am sure we'd rather them do neither... fact is they probably do BOTH!

hey i am a 15 year old girl who's parents went absolutly mentle when they found out i was having sex, i was completly safe i was on the pill and useing condoms but my mum made me take a vow of celabacy, the thing is it desnt matter what my mum made me do she hasn't stopped me she thinks i'm still celebate when i have been sleeping with the same guys since i was 14 and haven't once stopped, yeah i lost my actual virgintiy to a complete and utter creep but i soon got over him and met someone descent and have been with him ever since. the majoroty of teenagers my age are only doing it when they are in proper relationships. to be honest i think that you have it easy, i asume you live in the usa, the teenage pregancy rate over there is double what it is in england mainly because england's sex education is still very limited we only ever find out about the bare bones to do with sex and this is why england have more teenage pregnacies. i wouldn'y worry about it i would asume your sister has a boyfriend and is only doing it with him and being as safe as possible, otherwise you can do what every big brother does and beat the crap out if them.
first i would advice you talk to her though she may only have it for just in case measures anyway.
good luck

[quote=demonbuttercup;181830]I'd rather my kid smoke pot than be having sex at 14...but that's just me LOL. I am sure we'd rather them do neither... fact is they probably do BOTH![/quote]

How does the saying go? Kids are God's way of getting even with you for all the stuff you did to your parents? LOL.

This is my view alone and take it with a grain of salt.

Let's do this in a logic deduction method. She is 14 according to her brother. That is below the legal age for sex, and anyone who tries anything with her goes into the system.

Furthermore, if she has that much stuff, condoms, lube, etc., it means she didn't start having this thoughts now. I'll be nice and say she started gathering things one year before. So at 13, she knows about sex, protection and has the contacts to gather those things. Nice.

However, gets worse by the fact she is smoking and drinking. Any half-a-brain pervert with a dose of Rohypnol will get her. Sorry for being rude.

Drinking, smoking and being sexually active (not necessarily with a partner) is not a good combination, it's wrong, she's going the wrong way and the brother has to act firmly.

Here's my advice mate. Talk to her and tell her what you found. Tell her that you are not judging, and that she is right about knowing her body and discovering it and there is nothing wrong with it. Having real sex so soon is not. That has to be said, no matter what. Tell her that you are there to support her, help her and hear her, but that you would like for her to slow down, because it's dangerous, and explain her why. Make sure you say you don't think she's a whore or anything, but that there are people out there who are always smarter than us. Make up a story where you were tricked for some reason and that it can happen to anyone.

If she has sex with anyone, check his age. 16 up, tell the cops and tell your parents. Otherwise, do nothing. It's not your life, but if the guy has more than 16 years, it's a fellony and you have to protect your sister. Don't be her father, just protect her.

To all that may differ from my opinion: I have to agree to disagree and only say this, times are changing and the types of dangers are MUCH different. The diseases are different, the rape drugs are more effective, the gangs are everywhere, and so are criminals. Turning a blind eye to this is criminal and unethical.

This is my view and I will stick by it.

[QUOTE=alban lusitanae;181868]...If she has sex with anyone, check his age. 16 up, tell the cops and tell your parents. Otherwise, do nothing. It's not your life, but if the guy has more than 16 years, it's a fellony and you have to protect your sister. Don't be her father, just protect her.

To all that may differ from my opinion: I have to agree to disagree and only say this, times are changing and the types of dangers are MUCH different. The diseases are different, the rape drugs are more effective, the gangs are everywhere, and so are criminals. Turning a blind eye to this is criminal and unethical.

This is my view and I will stick by it.[/QUOTE]

Here, here.... a very good stance Alban and the more and more I think about it, the more and more I agree with you. Very good advice - Statutory rape is statutory rape whether she enjoys it or not. She is not of legal age to make her own decisions and she is very easily influenced right now. Very well put....

yet you have to take her feelings into acount if she is actually having a relationship with a guy weather he is 16 or above or not she will have an emotional bond with him and it will hurt her alot if you get him done by the cops. i would talk to her first if shes in a relationship with the guy then ask her about him, find out as much as you can meet him and have a heart to heart with him and if he seems like a piece of scum tell her tell her you dont think he';s the rite guy for her and then ask her a few trick questions to try to show her that like 'so if he's told you he loves you why does he not show it all the time?' ect it makes her think and then she realises the truth.

but remember you cant stop her from making mistakes and things. it's a part of growing up, you just have to try and make sure she is as safe as possible, and be there for her and support her.

if my parents were like that with me maybe i wouldn't have been so rebellious towards them.

If he isn't a piece of crap, he'll wait until she's old enough, that's no excuse. I mean, yeah, she loves the guy (nevermind the age) and so it is alright? That doesn't make any sense.

Everybody can be tricked at that age. People get tricked at 30, nevermind 14! If she gets hurt, better now than having very serious problems later. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. No cool guy would take advantage of a 14 y.o.

Call me biased, but it's just too soon. In fact, a few time ago, there was this discussion about the age of sexual consent and many people said 14 was too young, related to the a.s.c. in Hawai some 6 years ago (it's 16 now), and I don't know why the sudden change of opinion.

If she is using all those tools to know her body, that's fine! She has to know her body. Taking the step into sex with someone else this soon (if it hasn't already), no way. Let her keep loving herself until she matures enough to know what sex with someone else really is. :)

There are some states where AOC is 14--if the older individual involved is not the age of majority (18) statutory rape will not apply since in these states 14 is legal with those of "similar age".

Overall the law varies state to state unlike in Portugal (where law is uniform & consistent) where the female must be older then the age of 16 to have vaginal intercourse.

[QUOTE=alban lusitanae;181913]If he isn't a piece of crap, he'll wait until she's old enough, that's no excuse. I mean, yeah, she loves the guy (nevermind the age) and so it is alright? That doesn't make any sense.. :)[/QUOTE]

i think it's not fair on her if she sees somebody she would be in love with peice of crap or not to have to go through as hard a time as getting done for statory rape, she would never forgive her brother for getting involved and will most likley want to go off the rails even more.

All I can say is what I would do were this my own sister- pretty, boy-crazy, a bit naive, and altogether a "young" 13-year-old.

First of all I'd thank any deity that happened to be listening that she was using protection. I mean, let's face it, getting caught isn't necessarily going to make her stop if she is convinced that this guy is the eighth world wonder and it's love and all that. Especially with the OP's sister, who is a bit of a rebel anyway. So threats are not the right tack to take here.

I would sit down with my sister and have a chat. Now, for me it would be easier because it would be girl-talk, but the OP can probably figure out a way to make himself a sympathetic confidant. I've already been preparing for this by letting my sister know that she can always come and talk to me if she has questions; my mother is a wonderful woman but a bit of a prude and thus not the sort of person my sister would go to for guidance. In any case, the angle I would take is, "I'm proud of you that you're using protection and taking responsibility for enjoying your sexuality. You know how to use these? Cool. You on the pill or using spermicide as well? How about you try it just in case. Look, I think you're too young and you may enjoy it better when you're more physically mature, but I'm proud of you for being responsible and using protection. Just take care of yourself and let me know if you need anything."

Then find the boyfriend. I may be a rather short girl, but I can be quite intimidating if I want to be, and that's the tack I'd take. "You take care of my sister, or I'll take care of you." If he's an older boy, I'd mention statutory.

Only if I think the situation could be potentially dangerous- the boy is significantly older, the boy is less interested in her than in what she can give him, &c- would I take it to the parents, but even then, only after I mention these dangers to her in terms of "I just don't want to see you get hurt." And even then, maybe keep some of the facts back... because you don't want to make your sister feel betrayed.

Can't exactly send your sister off to a nunnery. Just let her know that you're there for her.

great advice i believe

Little info on a study of "Reported" Statutory Rape Cases:

mong the study's principal findings:

* Almost 80 percent of defendants are at least eight years older than their victims. The median age was 24, and the average age was almost 30. One-third of defendants were 30 years or older, at least twice the age of their victims.
* Most defendants avoid prison entirely, eventhough statutory rape is punishable by up to 5 years. Only 20.2 percent of persons who were originally charged only with statutory rape and then convicted were incarcerated. In cases where statutory rape was one of many charges, only 37 percent were incarcerated on statutory rape charges.
* It's not about "young love." Cases of young defendants (18- and 19-year-olds) often included allegations of physical force and coercion, running contrary to ideas of "young love."

Now, imagine your 14 year old daughter/sister with a MAN that is between 22 and 24. Yeah, That is Soooo Cool... Go sis! You get that older man.

And, if someone does report him (which it seems rarely is the case, but there are a few of the US Population that still have the insides to do it) about 1 in 5 PREDATORS will spend some time in Jail.

Statement #3 is amazingily true yet overlooked by MANY non-responsible people unwilling to take a stand..... It was said earlier, 30 year olds get fooled and tricked all the time, so what makes anyone think that a naive 14 year old REALLY knows what she is doing? Coercion.... So subtle, yet so dangerous, especially to the High School Recent Grad with his Hormones Raging....

She can Love the man, be willing to marry him (in 4 years or so), Head over Heals about him, and being the "safest" young lady in the world with the condoms, but guess what.... He would still be considering Raping Her, and she has no idea of it.

I would rather my daughter be pissed off at me for an awefully long time than have her subject to that far more tortuous abuse.

I do realize that we don't know the circumstances of this in particular user and his sister, but those against telling the parents totally no matter what, and would rather "sit down and talk to each party" Just to avoid the Parental Figures on this matter is inconcievable to me.

There are times when we must choose between what is right and what is easy. Too many people want to take the easy road these days.

This is why parents need to be watching where their kids are going & who the are hanging around with. Furthermore, the computer in the bedrooms or secluded areas of the house with webcams? A nightmare looking to happen. If you read some of the threads here, you will find a few of these exact situations. However, they are not limited to the ladies! One female poster was 23 or 26, "In love with a 16 y/o" and was seeking to bring him across state lines.

These cases are beyond statutory rape, they are pedophiles.

Believe it or not, we have had our differences before, but I really agree with Sera300 this time.

Parent's Responsiblilty. Why do the parents not know Where their 14 year old daughter is if she is having sex? My son is 12 and I know where he is all the time. He tells me where he is going, and I occasionally check up on him to see if he is there. 95% of the time he is, the other 5% of the time he is on his way home earlier than he is supposed to be home. If he says he is going to a friends house, I call the parent before hand to make sure it is ok, and to have the parent call me if he leaves the residence.

There are alot of sick people in this world today, and in order for me to protect my kin, I will go to whatever means I need to, and I don't really give a damn if he enjoys it or thinks I am too overprotective. When my daughter grows up (4 now) she will be under the same scrutiny from me as well. I know it is for their best interests and it will guide them in the right path when they have a family of their own. Hopefully they will see the light later on in life and do the same with their own children.

I love the non-participant parents, who, when something unfortunate happens to their children, they ask how this can happen. Well, if they were there Supervising their children's growth and a little more involved in their impressionabe lives, it may not have - but they don't like hearing that.

I am 100% on with this. There is no excuse to let kids wander. Checking up where they are, if the parent cannot other family can. Want to date? Boy comes in and meets the parents. Parent's should talk. You cannot watch them 100% of the time, but damned you can keep the reigns in on who they see, where they go, and be certain what they are doing. If more parents stopped concerning themselves in their personal lives, became involved with their kids lives, less perverts would have the opportunity to take advantage of them.

The webcam thing kills me as does myspace. Do parents not check? I even noticed here, many were posting their pics linked off myspace. On their pic. it gave personal details & towns of residence. Two posters recently, were masturbating in front of webcams with lady friends were taped and it was passed around school. What makes me wonder, are parents not checking?

no some parents dont check because they have a little thing called trust in there child and they have educated there child enough to know what goes on in the world, i have myspace and my parents dont mind because they trust me not to do anything stupid and i dont. as for the whole masterbating on cam thing, i think personally it is a child trying to cry out for attention and if the parent doesnt see that then there is osme problems afoot, but that does happen rarley and is so easy to sort out its not that big a deal, kids do stupid things at the end of the day its a part of growing up deal with it

Lust:

The point you are missing is; there are many posted on here (some now edited or deleted), on this site, it gives pictures & full names, location, high school attended, etc. Too much information for a public sex forum. I came across them when I was viewing "post your picture".

Obviously the parents are not watching nor are these young individuals being responsible/careful. That is not part of growing up nor is masturbating on cameras for other's in school. Those actions demonstrate poor & unsafe judgement.

As you said you don't do these "stupid" things, it's a shame that other's do not follow. When these specific issues occur it makes one wonder about what the parents ARE doing.

[QUOTE=littlechicky;181135]Uhm...I was 14 and am almost 20 and still with the same guy in a great relationship...SEX IS NATURAL--and every single teenage guy or girl is going to experiment and learn about their body and likes and dislikes. Just because you don't condone it and parents forbid it and punish her, doesn't mean she will stop. At least she has the right tools, and a concerned sibling that should be there for any questions/support she may need in the future. I know it's hard. I HATED thinking of my little brother having sex. But, you must realize it's a basic need for a human being to be sexual in nature.[/QUOTE]

Not everyone. my husband was 21 when he lost his virginity. That was to me.

I guess we are all agreeing. He can't go too hard on the kid, but he must be firm on this. This is just too dangerous a situation to go soft.

as i was reading this i saw a lot of different views, some a little extream, some way to easy, and some had practically hit the nail on the head

now i may only be 15 and not have the years of experience as do many of you, but being the age i am i actually see what you're talking about happen in real time in my own school. The OP hasn't said much since the posting of the topic so we can't be sure if he's even still reading this or needs the advice, but the fact that his 14 yr old sister has condoms and lube in her room does mean something, the first step needing to be taken is to talk to her and find out who she is doing things with, or if she's doing anything with anyone at all. if she's not up to talking like some teenagers are because they just feel akward talking to people about what's going on in their lives because they don't understand that the people older than them have been through what they're going through whether they believe it or not, then if you can, try asking some her friends to find out what kind of guys she hangs out with, although that will most likely be an indirect way of asking her yourself by the way of her friends, but you may find something out.

if she is doing something, try to find out if it's only one guy. unfortunately in today's society the so called "role-models" for girls are scantally clad whores who give the impression that the more guys you do stuff with the cooler you are. so if she seems to be hanging out with multiple guys then deffinently step in and take some kind of action. i see too many girls at my school who are with a different guy each month and brag about how many guys they've slept with and it just disgusts me that something such as that could occuring with kids who are still so young

sex and sexual activity is quite a large controversy for kids around this age, but despite what you say or think, it happens, it's unavoidable. personally, i will admit i do feel that sexual activity and sex around this age is wrong even though i myself have lost my virginity shortly after my 15th birthday. but in a way, i do feel justified in my actions i took because i firmly believed i loved the girl i was with, although being the naive, hormone raging, boy that i am, my first "love" turned out to be actually lust, but it was a mistake that had to be experienced to be learned. you can't guarntee that your (OP) sister will "love" the man she's doing anything with, if in fact she is doing something with someone, but some things just have to be experienced before they are fully understood

another issues posed in this thread was the activity of parents which seems to be becoming another major issue in today's world. parents nowadays have become lazy, not in just watching the sexual activity in their kids but just in everything it seems. parents just seem to take the easy way out now with technology. it's true times have changed with technology and what not, but that's no reason to abondon your duties as a parent and rely on technology to do everything for you. instead of having some v-chip to control what your kid watches, either don't buy the extra porn and movie channels and let your child have a tv in their room, or trust them with what they watch and just every now and then go check on your kid in their room to see what they're watching or just see how they're doing. and like someone said earlier, if your child goes somewhere call them to make sure they're at where they need to be and see what they're doing, or if you have a trust problem with your child then call the supposed house they're going to and make sure that's where they'll be and that parents are there. and if your child has a computer in their room then they DO NOT need a webcam, kids in general don't need web cams unless they're holding some kind of video conference which is highly unlikely, so if you just have to buy that web cam for your child then put in a computer in a public room like said above. if parents would just actually be PARENTS then there wouldn't be nearly as many problems as there are with today's youth

well there's my little rant on the subject with what i believe, so feel free to take it as a grain of salt and hopefully reading that wasn't too confusing since i seem to jump around in my topics

Loverocks09

Are you sure you are 15? Not really 45? You have said "it all" very well and from all points of view. Moreover, you articulate your thoughts well, it's a nicely done post and very informative.

haha, well thank you for the compliment i suppose sera300. and yes, i am 15 :P, i'm just more atuned to the world around me and more mature than most my age
and unfortunately i am well informed on the subject since in my high school things of sexual nature happen everyday, even before high school a girl in my class got pregnant in 8th grade...it's rather depressing, but it happens and if nothing else, learn from someone else's mistakes instead of making one as severe as that yourself

That ^^ is depressing about the 8th grader.

LoveRock, dp you have any public data on the 8th grader? It would make a great warning as a sticky on the site.

keep posting mate

hey, i remembered to ask some of my friends about what happened to that girl who got pregnant in 8th grade for you alban (love the monty python icon btw :P), well it turns out she had the kid and had to drop out of public school and get home schooled. so her mom had to quit her job for that and because of it her family had to move out of their house and into a trailer, and it only gets worse unfortunetly. apparently the father also dumped her shortly after finding out she was pregnant and refuses to acknoweldge she exists if he's asked about it

so yeah, that one act of carelessness basically ruined her life and her parents =/

I've heard it said:
Pregnancy at 26 and married is expected. at 26 and unmarried it's just the risk of the game. At 18 and unmarried it's an embarrassment, and at 16 it's a disaster.

However, many of us have been playing the game since we were really young. I myself was doing things at 14 with a female friend of mine, so I guess even among conservative people it's par for the course.

Once again, having sex does NOT automatically that you will get diseased or pregnant. Nor does it guarantee a rapid and irrevocable descent into the gutter of life. You are all a bunch of sexual pessimists! Put the brakes on here.

The OP does not know with whom she is having sex or even if she is having sex although the clues are strong ones. The OP should just ask "who's the lucky guy?" If the OP is non-judgmental the girl will be happy to talk - witness how many youngsters are here asking us for advice! Of course she will seek out the OP's guidance on this matter.

The OP can take it from there to safeguard the girl's interests. Often this can be done merely by letting it be known that he has his sister's back covered. As my son did for my daughter although at 6'1" she didn't really require any assistance. But knowing he and her father and I were behind her did give her confidnce during her teenage exploratory years.

This is the main point - these are her teenage exploratory years - she is supposed to be "exercising her wings" in preparation for her independent adult life. Her family is her safety net. Parents are to guide, counsel, and/or assist at this point NOT completely control. This requires a delicate touch, a deep understanding, and a great deal of love.

Do you see?

Naturally, but reaching the balance with constant growing threats and ever increasing difficulties in tracking changes is very hard, you have to admit.

And as you read by my posts, I just said that he had to gather more info and act accordingly, even if it means a bit rough if she IS having sex with someone of age.

That's about it :)

[QUOTE=LittleFury;180186]If you have normal parents, as in she will not end up in a gutter dead in the morning, tell them. They have a right to know what's going on with their child. It is their responsibility to parent and protect their child, how can they do that if they do not know what's going on with their child. And especially if she's becoming a rebel. It's better to prevent things before they happen than deal with consequences.[/QUOTE]

You say that it is their right to know, but it is also the daughters right to have privacy in her life. And if she feels that now is not the right time to tell her parents then thats her decision, no-one should make the decision for her of telling her parents without her doing so herself.:eek:

In which case you believe the age of sexual consent should be 14 and she should be of age.

According to the law, when a person is a minor, he or she, however gifted or competent, is considered to be incompetent at law to:

Enter into binding contracts.
Buy or sell property.
Drive a car.
Buy alcoholic beverages.
Marry without the consent of his or her parent, guardian or a judge.
Sue or be sued.
Make a will or inherit property outright.
Join the military
Vote.

Which means she's entitled to her private life, insofar as it doesn't break the fundamental principles of the law,
in this specific case, the age of sexual consent, which means if you say she has the right and is correct not to say to her parents she's having sex (in my view, if she's not having sex, it's fine not to tell), then she is, by practical effect, of age at 14.

That is wrong, no matter how you beautify it.

[quote=Sap;182489]You say that it is their right to know, but it is also the daughters right to have privacy in her life. And if she feels that now is not the right time to tell her parents then thats her decision, no-one should make the decision for her of telling her parents without her doing so herself.:eek:[/quote]

But parent's duty to parent, take care and protect their child, which is what she is at the age of 14, is superior to her right of privacy. Especially in something that can hurt her. Also, a child does not have an automatic right to privacy from parents under the law. And as long as she is underaged and under their care, they have a right to know something as important as this as keeping information like this from a parent hinders their ability to effectively parent and protect.