Hi
I am with a girl now, who I love immensley, and we decided that it was time to have sex. This was her first time, but my second.
The first time I had sex was with my previous girlfriend, and although not very pleasurable, it was very easy, and I slipped inside her with the minimum of trouble.
However, this time, although I was easily able to find her vaginal opening, My penis always slipped out before it managed to penetrate through her hymen. We tried various positions - The Missionary, inverted missionary, from behind, side by side, and with her legs in the air - We had the most luck from behind, when I did almost manage to penetrate her, but she found the pain to be too much, and pulled out.
Can someone tell me, how can I manage not to "slip out" - Am I aiming incorrectly, is the angle wrond, or I am not thrusting far enough? - and how can we manage to break through the pain barrier (is there an easy way around the pain?!)
Any assistance much appreciated!
- Daz -
> how can we manage to break through the pain barrier (is there an easy way around the pain?!)
Encourage her to stretch her hymen. She can do this over the course of several days by taking warm baths and pulling on the hymen in order to make it more resilient. She can do the same for the vaginal opening also.
If she is orgasmic and capable of having orgasms then I recommend you help her have one or two before attempting penetration.
If she is not shy and will let you look at the hymen, see how it is constructed. If it partially obstructs the opening, place the tip of your penis between it and the vaginal wall. If the hymen has a large internal opening, try placing your penis there. Both approaches will offer less resistance than just attempting to push against the surface. IF she knows how the hymen is constructed, she can position your penis for you, assuming she is not timid.
The ideal position for first time intercourse is with the Woman Superior in which you recline on your back, face up while she straddles your body. She has options such as squatting or kneeling and/or resting on her hands or forearms. This position places her in complete control. She can guide your penis in, place it against the hymen as noted, and then control the amount of pressure applied, the duration, then the speed of insertion, the depth, and the rate of stroking when the two of you get that far.
Expect that you will go soft. The pressure against the penis and the root structure within the abodomen can be a lot and combined with anxiety, can sometimes cause a guy to go soft. If this happens, just rebuild your erection or better yet, have her do this for you, and try again.
> Can someone tell me, how can I manage not to "slip out"
Well, the hymen is just inside the opening so your penis was never really far enough inside to "slip out". Getting past the hymen, assuming it is intact, requires pressure, not poking or jabbing; therefore, no stroking. Hold off on stroking until you are actually inside.
Once in a while the membrane of the hymen will be thicker than usual making it more difficult to penetrate. If this is the case and you continue not to be able to gain entry, it may be necessary for her to visit her doctor and have it "nicked".
Please read the Sticky posts that provide how-to information on the art of making out. The two of you need to spend a lot of time with this aspect of sex before just "getting it on".
thanks, doc