I gladly go down on my guy, and he enjoys it very much. However, he has never gone down on me. He told me that it's not me, but that he gets confused, and uncomfortable because he doesn't know if the girl is really enjoying it, so he stoped doing it. The sex is wonderful, and he does finger me, which is just as wonderful. It's not that I'm upset that he doesn't go down on me, it's just that it threw me off that he didn't have any interest in doing it. (He's the only guy I know that isn't interested in doing it.) So, I was just wondering if there were some guys that weren't into doing this. Can any women relate to this?
Fri, 12/30/2011 - 05:10
#1
Is this typical for guys?
Giving Oral for both genders is not everyone's favorite. If he is confused about what works then that is where you come in. He sounds like a man that wants to please you so he shouldn't mind getting a little direction, if needed from you. I'm sure he would if you were not going down on him to his liking. Just have a talk with him and say You would really like him to go down. Don't worry about performing hun, let's just have fun with eachother.
I can only say some women do not always like to go down neither many men like it for many reasons not on their repertoire.
I heard from some women doing bj when they were younger but past certain age of thrty something they stop bj altogether because they dislike it.
> He told me that it's not me, but that he gets confused, and uncomfortable because he doesn't know if the girl is really enjoying it, so he stoped doing it.
Confused? It seems to me that if he was interested at all that he'd be looking for answers.
He doesn't know...? What happened to "communication" and feedback? I've stated many times that relationships are partnerships and that communication is a key ingredient. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Talk to each other; provide feedback {verbal or non-verbal) on how each of you is responding to the others caresses and for what you need now/next.
If you, girl, are moaning and groaning, huffing and puffing, writhing, toes curling then what about your involvement does he not get that suggests you might not be enjoying it?
Explore and work together!
Although the direct link to the "Kivin Method" of oral stimulation listed in the Index no longer works, here is an extension that does.
If you want to practice, then let him know that you will shower ahead of time, or, invite him to shower with you. It might be that he is bothered by the possibility of body odor and perspiration down there.
-doc
I thought we did communicate pretty well with each other. And he does give me direction on how to go down on him. Perhaps he had bad experiences with women that had body odor issues or weren't properly cleaned down there. For now, I'll think of some other way to communicate with him better, without insulting him. I will also look into the kivin method as well.
So he stopped going down on girls because he wasn't sure if the girl was enjoying it? That sounds like a terrible excuse and a lie. I would think most guys would kill for the chance to lick, suck, and kiss the vagina as much as possible.
I rarely ever did it for the one girlfriend I had, I didn't enjoy it but it was because of a sour taste. It all depends on his likings I guess.
He's NOT intuitive and he hasn't done his homework so rather than show off what he doesn't know, accept coaching from you, or seek answers in this forum - he's just chickened out. Until he's grown a set, stop giving him fellatio. When he asks about it just say something like "well I don't know what I'm doing and I cannot tell if you enjoy it so I'm just going to stop". Repeat his reasons back to him.
Why do it this way?
Because you have committed the error of "being too nice/kind to him" and let him get away with one of the LAMEST excuses on the planet.
If he doesn't try, learn and practice how does he expect to get any good at it?
BTW Yes, this kind of behavior is typical with PEOPLE. They'd rather NOT do something than acknowledge their ignorance or show their ineptitude.
pass,
Your responses have been superficial and meaningless. This response is even the signature line of another member. If you have something to add, we want to see it; otherwise you are wasting bandwidth.
That sounds like a terrible excuse and a lie.
in my opinion it can be 2 things,
1)he doesn't like the taste/smell - thats a problem and if so he should be honest about it
2) he didn't know what to do in the past and got discouraged by the reactions - in this case you should tell him what feels good whle he tryes it so he sees you enjoying it and gets more self-assured.
if you do it right (as a man) it's the best thing ever to see your gf enjoying it and its one of the most arousing things to do... so he's missing out also xD
I'm not sure about it being confusing and uncomfortable, this seems a bit strange to me, but many guys simply don't enjoy it or find it all that stimulating - I certainly don't, and it can kill my hard on as well. Another more general reason could simply be that your man is like many others - controlling in bed and more apt to go after what he wants than what you do.
sometimes I like to go down on a girl more than having sex. For me I just love the smell, taste, how smooth and soft the skin is, and that it drive her nuts.