Mastrubation toys like the flesh light sounds like a good idea to me.

Here is another suggestion that helped me and my gf to resist temptation and not get into things prematurely: We went and read up on the latest and best condoms. Some of those polyethylene ones sound really nice in that they are quite thin and allow body heat to be easily passed, so that physical intimacy is enhanced. My gf and I agreed that those types sounded really really nice and we wanted to use them when the time came. (Note: Polyethylene is good for stopping sperm but NOT some diseases.)

So then I went and bought a pack of super-cheap latex condoms that were much worse than the nice polyethylene ones we read about. I kept the cheap condoms with me and they served as a psychological reminder that we would be "wasting" our virginities together if we just gave in and used the cheap condoms at hand, instead of waiting and getting the good ones. It was quite a nice reminder, and also served as a good experience, as it was my first time buying rubbers.

Oh yeah, one other suggestion:

I don't know if this is safe but you could take a colored marker and draw silly pictures on your penis.

This way you would be embarassed to show it to a woman but could still mastrubate without restraint.

> I don't know if this is safe but you could take a colored marker and draw silly pictures on your penis.

Better that than a tattoo!

Here is a copy of my reply to someone, yesterday, in another thread:

"Why is being a virgin a problem? You should know that most of what you read and hear comes from the vocal minority. Reports are that around 75% of couples in western societies wait until Part 2 of the wedding ceremony to have intercourse. Be it for religious or moral or ethical reasons, there is a very real benefit for waiting that only happens once in a lifetime and never the same way with second marriages. What is it?

Part 2 of the marriage ceremony is the consummation of the vows. It is then that something very special takes place--a connection of the psyches that does not happen with casual sex--or after! The vagina is considered the gateway to a woman's soul; the penis is the essence of a man. When the two join for the first time ever within this framework, a true melding of the psyches takes place. It is an experience worth having the faith to wait and experience lest it be gone forever."

> What should I do? I'm thinking of buying a love doll or masturbator. Will that help? Which ones would you recommend?

Yes and no.

Rather than invest some money in one of these sex toys, why not try a home remedy? This is detailed on the following website that deals with matters of male masturbation. www.jackingworld.com

This simple device makes an excellent pseudo-vagina.

* Take a Ziplock plastic sandwich bag and cut an opening along the bottom of one side sufficient to permit your penis to enter.
* Next, lubricate the inside of the lower portion of the bag, insert your penis and wrap the remainder of the bag around it.
* Fold a hand towel or similar item and wrap it around the bag in order to add bulk and padding. This will help simulate a real vagina.
* Assume the Missionary position and place the pseudo-vagina (with you in it) between a couple of pillows on the bed.
* Next, do what comes naturally.

Your post speaks of the quandary you are in. On the one hand you desire a way to experience better or more intense climaxes, while on the other, you want the physical closeness of a woman. Both are natural reactions.

Both can be had with a woman because of the emotional closeness as well as the pheromones the are in the air. These are reasons why we all get much more turned on when in the company of our lover than we do when doing things alone.

> I've strongly considered calling an escort or going to a massage parlour but have always ended up (rightly) deciding against it.

I've never done either, yet I am here to tell you that sex without an integral emotional component is very unsatisfying, mainly because of the lack of real involvement and from the partner.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

Dancindoc makes some exellent points. I do question his figure of 75% awaiting marriage to have sex in the industrial societies. 50% of all women become sexually active between their 18th and 20th birthdays. The average age of brides in Europe and North America is almost 25. One out of three couples lives together before marriage. I dout that many of these are celibate cohabitations.

I am not certain that this is only a modern phenomenon. Church records from the 17th century indicate less than nine months between nuptials and baptism in one of three marriages.

Different cultures place difference importance on virginity at marriage. In most cultures that still emphasize virginity, it is more expected of women than men.

Niceguy, this is a cultural thing but also an individual decision. Historically, prostitutes were an outlet for men in your position. If you go back far enough, there were altar prostitutes with whom men could have sex and still not be considered evil. No one can answer this question for you. If you do choose to find female companionship, the professional women should be low on your list. This is the most impersonal of all sex and there is an elevated risk of disease. Think it through and talk to women in your friendship or activity circles. They will give you good advice.