I've been with my boyfriend for some time, and though he's the only boy I've ever had actual intercourse with, I've participated in foreplay with other boys (while we were broken up, of course. I don't condone cheating. Ever) and I find that I really enjoy having a dominant partner. The thing is, my boyfriend is super gentle and doesn't find the idea of being a little bit rough with me a turn-on. I've done *almost* everything he's wanted to try (I draw the line at group sex) and I feel like he should be willing to try one thing for me, but I don't want to push him into it if he really doesn't want to. Besides that, I feel like being forceful should come from a passion inside, and if he doesn't have that I can't make him.
Long story short, how do I make the idea of being dominant appealing to him?
Tue, 10/21/2008 - 06:52
#1
Trouble getting him to take control
I have always wondered why people use dominant when what they mean is aggressive, forceful, or rough when talking about sex.
If by dominant you mean that he is the one who decides what to do and how to do it then by your own admission he already is dominant.
[QUOTE=speechykeen;227143]... I find that I really enjoy having a dominant partner... I've done *almost* everything he's wanted to try...I feel like being forceful should come from a passion inside...[/QUOTE]
If you mean forceful and rough then you might only need to tell him so. As a young man wanting to be a good lover I read articles in magazines that said that women want men to be gentle and tender and romantic during love making-catch phrases like " women make love, but men only fu@k..." Since I believed all that it took me a while to figure out that women actually like hard and forceful and rough! Maybe your boyfriend is like that. He wants to please you, but since you haven't told him what you want/need he thinks that being tender and gentle all the time is what is best.
You might just try saying something as simple as " Do me hard! "-add any nice sexy dirty word you want there, or "Take me stud!" or " Pound me like there's no tomorrow" or " Have your way with me..."
There are many things you can say to encourage him and communicate your desires without taking the "control" from him.
Sex is about communication, good sex is at least. You could also slip him a hint while you are not having sex.
one thing you can do is do to him what you want done to you and after you are done tell him that that's what you want done because maybe his idea and yours are completely different, another idea is lead up to it in small steps but make sure you communicate with him
Well, I've never had any qualms about being dominant in bed, but my ex also had the ability to bring it out of me.
Sometimes I'd come back after a stressful day and she'd smile, and then start pushing me a little. She even slapped and scratched me a few times.
Push him around a little bit, provoke him into wrestling with you, and then enjoy some fiery sex.
Worked on me.
If he isn't dominant, he won't be dominant. He will only be pretending - which is entirely different. I suggest you stop playing games and either love the one you're with or get yourself a more dominant bf. BTW group sex is FUN!!