hello
i am married and my hubby and i started using sex toys about 8 years ago i have always had trouble reaching orgasms well after we got in the sex toys not any more
well now my hubby is feeling inadequate he is unable to get me off and i don't really know how to make him feel better about it.
if i give up the vibe then cuming is out of the question for me for at least 6 months and he will not go for that either. He is very good at oral sex and i know it is not him that is the problem. i just don't know how to make him feel better about himself about this every once in a while he comments that he is not the one getting me off it is the vibe take it away and he has no shot.
don't get me wrong he is involved we use it during sex so he really is not left out in the cold.
any suggestions????:rolleyes:
Personally, I don't see the problem and if there is one I think he has it. There have been posts about women getting "conditioned" to a vibrator but you say you didn't orgasm before useing one. I think he should be glad that you orgasm at all. Some women don't. Perhaps as a compromise, let him use it on you. Lets say, have him do you orally for a while and then have him do you with the vibrator till you cum. You may have to show him & guide him but that could be fun too. For me, that would be hot as heck. I tend to be a bit kinky and wish my GF was into toys sometimes. Anyway, whether he's licking ,boinkin you,or doing you with the vibe don't forget to tell him how great he feels. Tell him it feels so much better when he's in control of the vibe. That way he won't feel as displaced by it.
I sort of agree with Old Kid. He should be happy that you are able to climax now! But, guys can be tricky about these kinds of things. Maybe you should try something like a vibrating ring that you put over him during sex. Something like this:
Diving Dolphin
There are a lot of variations of this toy, even on that site. Maybe if it was something HE wore, he wouldn't feel so inadequate because it would feel more like him and not a vibrator.
I think the use of the sex toys also has a great deal on the individual mindset of the couples! As when I came to know about this for the first time I tried the same for my wife but for reasons unknown she did not seem to enjoy it at all. While she was absolutely fine and normal when things were normal. So dont you find this strange? Or has someone got to say something regarding this!
Alot of women are uncomfortable with the idea because of the stigmatism that they are "bad/dirty/naughty." There are really a wide range of why she may feel the way she does about them. Usually it has to do with upbringing. Also, if she is uncomfortable with things like masturbation, she'll more likely be shy about toys. For most ppl, there is an amount of being self-conscious when it is their first time using toys with another partner.
Toys have added a new dimension to my marriage... It's like everything is brand new. She's the best strange piece I have ever had! Enjoy...:D
They also make rings for the guy to wear that vibrate. Some that stimulate the clit also. I don't know about this site, but i know that they have some at www.adameve.com
I am not into toys. That said, give him the facts: 25% of all women never experience orgasm; 50% of us require some stimulation other than or in addition to penetration and thrusting; that leaves only about a quarter of us who regularly reach orgasm the "normal" way.
In thirty years of sex, I have reached orgasm very few times the way the book says I should; I require oral or stimulation. I have known women who cannot get there without a vibrator - use a vibrator fergawdsake.
I have to have clitoral stimulation as well.
I can sometimes do it using my hand....but usually I just end up using my vibe.. otherwise my hand gets tired and my b/f too b/c it just takes tooo long LOL