Well, first of all. I have always come to this site for my sexual tips. I am quite educated in the workings of the sexual world....Thanks to Sexinfo101!!!
Anyways, to my problem. My girlfriend and I are both in our late teens. We are both virgins, and are very serious about our relationship. We have done some things like I have fingered her numerous times, always when she was very wet and aroused, sometimes it didn't please her as much. She claims she has never masturbated. (Jesus, I read a lot of posts on here about girls who don't masterbate... God guys, we must be the only ones!) Which I do beleive her. So direct stimulation I guess doesn't feel good to her if she hasn't experianced it much until recently.
Well, Tonight I decided to try something new. I guess she wasn't prepared for it?!? Seeing she has never touched herself down there, is it possible she's just not used to direct stimulation?! Anyways, I tried going down on her, I tried different techniques, and nothing. Not a moan, not a yelp. Nothing. I did everything right... I think?
I don't know what to do. I want to pleasure her. I want to get her to come out of this closet, and make her experiance the wonders of the female orgasm.... What should I do? How can I make her so she is comfortable with this? So she's not hurting or feeling discomfort!? I don't want to rush into anything.... Thanks in advance!
Cheers,
Fritz
if a girls not relaxed as you go down on her, it destroys the whole point. The first time my boyfriend ever went down on me, i was tense and nervous and self conscious. I couldn't concentrate on how good it felt because i was too nervous thinking about what he was thinking of me down there. She has to be comfortable, and not tense, so tell her to just relax and not to feel bad about herself because you obviously think shes special and she should know it.
This is alot how me and my girlfriend where a few months ago. We are virgins (marriage deal) and I was the first guy that she had been with intimately taht has not tried to take advantage of her. One thing that helped was I would just get her to lie naked with me and do something like watch tv or play a game or something. You need to get her comfortable with being naked and with you. Another thing is when she feels comfortable with you beside her ask her if it's ok and get her to guide you. TALK TO HER as much as you have heard and will hear it you must talk to her to make her feel comfortable.
this is just a little from me. sometimes when i have been in situations like this i dont try to penetrate her, i just rub my hand/finger/palm against her and pretty much all the time ending in orgasm, not through vaginal stimulation but clitoral, normally most women will say clitoral stimualtion is the easiest for them to achieve, during the time i know the girl if it is hard to penetrate i will ask her if she doesnt like it in a subtle manner, make sure u pooint out how much u care about her and care about pleasing her. also while i am with her (if the reason i cant penetrate her is because she is still alittle tight) then i try to slowly stretch things , only a bit more each time for example first time u mite try to go to first nuckle, second time second nuckle so on and so forth, anyway dude i hope this helps.
Fritz it is great of you to come and ask this question. You obviously care very much about your girl friend and want to please her.
Lets start with how she is wet already when you touch her. I assume you two are first doing a lot of kissing and touching each other. That will get her wet.
Then when you put your finger inside and she tightens up around you. If she is doing this right off then it is uncomfortable for her. With her being a virgin and not masturbating, her vagina is very tight and sensitive. If you think you are being extra careful be even more so. Use the lightest touch you can. Think like a feather.
When inserting your finger go very slowly and easy. Don't just stick it in but ease it in a little at a time. Sometimes just holding it there and letting her body get used to it.
It is very important to learn a woman's body and to tell when she is tightening up in a bad way and in a good way. If it is feeling great then she is likely to open her legs more and raise her hips up to meet your movements. Then when she orgasms she will tighten up her thighs and will want you to hold still and let her body do what it wants.
Now about going down on her. Like Lilly said she could be scared and embarrassed. Remember she is young and a virgin. She doesn't know how its supposed to feel or what she should be doing. Her body may want to lose control and her mind won't let that happen. Especially if she is having a poor body image about herself. Its not enough for you to tell her she is beautiful (although that is what you should be doing a lot) she has to believe it her self.
As far as your technique goes. Read all of the post on pleasing her orally here in this forum. There is lots of good advice and tips here. I would say like in fingering her go slowly and with the lightest of touches. Don't just dive in. Kiss and touch her thighs, the skin around her vagina and the vagina lips. Wait until you feel she is relaxing and opening up before you go inside to her most sensitive areas.
Does she know about this site? Maybe you could get her to start reading for herself what women want. I am a firm believer in people educating themself on their bodies.
Good luck, be patient with her and remember the best thing you can do for your own sexual pleasure is to fully learn how to please your partner.
If this is the first time she has ever had someone down there so definately intimate, she may have just been scared!
I know that may sound silly, but the first time I had someone do that to me, I kept trying to close my legs, I was all emberassed and couldn't let myself relax and enjoy it.
Give her time. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you just want to please her. Reassure her.
No! It doesn't sound silly at all! I think it actually explains a lot... That makes a lot of sence, I think you're right. Because my g/f is the type of shy, self concious girl. I was very shy at first to even think about touching her other places, because we both are virgins, but now... It's opened a whole new door.
Thanks,
Fritzy
I don't know... I think it may be because she's not used to it maybe? Whenever I tend to finger her, she's wet before I even start to finger her, but when I try finger penetration, she flinches, her legs seem to close on my hand, and it seems like it hurts her... Maybe I'm wrong?!? Sometimes she tells me it hurts...??
And with the oral sex, nothing happened, maybe not ready for it? I want to make her feel special because she feels so unhappy with her body... Which I don't know why, She is VERY beautiful in every way...
I need some help.... lol...
Fritz
[QUOTE=Quote (Fritz1GD @ Oct. 16 2004,22:25)].... she was very wet and aroused, sometimes it didn't please her as much....... Not a moan, not a yelp. .... So she's not hurting or feeling discomfort!? ....[/QUOTE]
Why do you think she is hurting or feeling discomfort? Why do you think you are not giving her pleasure?