I'm dating this girl. We've had sex twice. In bed she doesn't make any noises, so it's very hard for me to tell when something feels good. Sometimes I can tell by her breathing and movements, but that's usually only when she's already really turned on. I've asked her "does this feel good?" and she usually responds "does it feel good for you?" I've also asked her "faster or slower" or "harder or softer" and it's usually "what would you like?"
I sort of figured out that she's not a girl who can get off via just vaginal thrusting and grinding, so I tried to finger her after I came. She lay there not making any noises. I know for sure I was hitting spots that in my ex would have turned her into a quivering mass of screaming pleasure.
Despite this, I did make her cum the first time we had sex, I think, because her breathing got really heavy and she started thrashing a bit.
I'd love to please this girl and send her into the stratosphere...tips?
I think you have to talk to her, she apparently is not comfortable enough to open up to you; especially given her response deflecting the question. I would just talk to her and explain; when you want to know what feels good to her, you'd like her opinion, not a question. But talk to her when your not getting into the act...
She's eing shy and submissive; afraid of your response should she open up and become expressive. You are going to have to explain to her that you want to please her, you need to please her but that you also need guidance.
Agreed... she sounds like shes more worried about your experience. I would just be honest and tell her that you want sex to be excellent for her, and you enjoy when you can tell she feels good.
I think many women do not understand what a turn on it is for men to know that they are pleasing their woman in bed.
[QUOTE=ChiliPepper;169047]Agreed... she sounds like shes more worried about your experience. I would just be honest and tell her that you want sex to be excellent for her, and you enjoy when you can tell she feels good.
I think many women do not understand what a turn on it is for men to know that they are pleasing their woman in bed.[/QUOTE]
Yeah! Isn't this crazy? It's like, I'm a guy...it's not hard for me to get off. The whole reason I like sex is that it's very gratifying to be able to please a woman and see her in ecstasy. Without that, I may as well just masturbate.
Plus I get the impression she's been around the block before, too. I don't mean anything negative, just that she's kind of a party girl and has some crazy stories. She's been with her fair share of guys...wouldn't she be "better" at sex now?
Better does not always equate to comfort. Talk to her, sometime it takes awhile to be comfortable w/ a new partner.
Yes she sounds uncomfortable. Those crazy stories, are those things done to her, or that she did? Maybe something bad happened. I imagine party girls can get hurt in some way, physical or emotional. Party enough and hook up with the wrong person and maybe it gets too rough or rape even. It happens.
When you do notice she is enjoying what you are doing, encourage her. Say "yes" gently. Go slower with her.
I don't know if you've tried varying speeds and pressures (and I'm talking about foreplay)? Start out softly. Just thrusting around ain't gonna cut it. Ever hear of clitoral stimulation? Am I right to assume you read the articles on this site and you took notes? Do that.
Think about making a fun night. Tell her it is lady's choice night and it's all about what feels good to her. Offer to explore with her exactly what she likes most. Where she likes to be touched and how.
I don't know what ages you two are. I remember when I was younger (and I'm not even middle aged yet) that I wanted things, that I had desires. I found my first partner, but I wasn't really relaxed. I married my second partner, it was a little better, but not even good. After the divorce there were three others, and I got more comfotable each time. I forced myself too early too soon and now I am dealing with it. I havn't been around the block by most standards, but I've seen much and heard much. None of it makes me very good at it. I think I still mostly lay there and I've let the guy do his thing, I let it all happen too fast because I didn't know any better. I didn't speak up for myself and it is still hard to tell a guy I like something. Slowly I get more comfortable.
Maybe something similar happened to her.
We are all different some people moan others shout talk ect. The best is to talk to her and tell her how you feel, that it is a turn on for you to see her reaction when you are making love.
It is not all about you but about her too and you will love her to talk to you what she wants
Guys, I know all about talking to her and what not. I am trying to do this. At the same time, I feel like maybe I have a mechanical problem with the way I **** her or finger her. I am not very experienced myself, she is only the 2nd for me - and the 1st I am convinced was sexually unusual, she would just go crazy whenever I touched her.
I guess I'm looking for a guide on how to pleasure a woman. Surely there are things that "almost all" women like.
[QUOTE=Jiffylube854;169202]Guys, I know all about talking to her and what not. I am trying to do this. At the same time, I feel like maybe I have a mechanical problem with the way I **** her or finger her. I am not very experienced myself, she is only the 2nd for me - and the 1st I am convinced was sexually unusual, she would just go crazy whenever I touched her.
I guess I'm looking for a guide on how to pleasure a woman. Surely there are things that "almost all" women like.[/QUOTE]
Try this link intresting and helpfull;)
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/11460-fingering_101.html?highlig...
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself
We are all different there is no real way to have sex wrong or mechanically do it wrong