I registered for the forums hours ago and have since then been trying to find any threads I could that might "help" me before I made my own. These threads are:
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/27944-shyness-confidence-first-t..."]Shyness...
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-him/29537-booty-bounce-how-do-i..."]Booty...
I've also tried using the search for "girl on top" and "woman on top" but it never wants to work because it says "on" and "top" are too short of words or too common. So if anyone has the links to such threads off hand, that would be really helpful.
---
Here's my situation. I'm slightly overweight but I'm more thick than fat -- hope that makes sense, I'll clarify if not -- and the guy I'm currently with has a stereotypical "great body" which comes with a great stamina. I've been with guys who are chiseled and I've been with guys who are obese and I've always had confidence in myself no matter what, so I'm not really put off by his physique and only slightly by his ability to go, go, go!... But he's a few years younger than I am and while I was raised more on sensual sex, he seems to be raised more on the idea that sex should be like a pornographic movie; all rough rider and jackhammer style. I've tried talking to him about slowing down, but things always seem to speed back up anyways and I just let it slide -- It feels way too good for me to mind even if it doesn't make me orgasm. But then when he gets tired from all his pumping and wants me to be on top for a while, I get really nervous, self-conscious, and I pretty much end up just sitting on top of him until he gets his second [or third or fourth...] wind and rolls me back over to resume thrusting.
As EEK has said in her responses on the other threads, confidence is just something you have to build. I'll either wimp out or I'll get over it and just do my thing. However, I've never doubted my abilities before but probably just because when I've been on top the guys have never minded my slow riding/rocking back and forth or me leaning over them and just rolling my hips forward and back to hit my g-spot just the right way until I climax... So what can I do, how can I move, how can I position myself, etc. for a similar rough rider girl-on-top session of sex? How do I put my legs to get the best leverage for cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, side-straddle? What other positions are there that I could do with him so that I'm able to please him as rigorously as he pleases me? I'm looking for any ideas or techniques here because I'm tired of being on top and feeling like my slow, sensual method would just bore him so I chicken out.
Help?
There is more of an issue than you being on top from you tiny, hard to read post. From what I'm reading it's all about him and his porn like screwing style and what he wants. You've tried to talk to him but he only complies for a few minutes then it's back to the rough rider and jackhammer to the point he gets "tired"? Then, he wants you on top. If he wants porn like WOT, then that's going to be allot of work for you that may require a gym membership and weeks or months to train!!! In porn, the woman has to bounce up and down like she's on a pogo stick while keeping her balance and maintain or increase her speed and the angles portayed in porn are for the camara ( and future veiwers enjoyment ) not the female actors enjoyment and pleasure( and I use the term "actor" loosely ).
The WOT position by design is a female frendly position that allows the woman to take control of everything: depth, angle, speed to allow HER to get the most enjoyable stimulation possible. It's easier to get direct and indirect stimulation to the clitorus if the woman is on top. But it's not through thrusting as in the male superior positions it's gliding and grinding against his pubic bone. The best way I can discribe WOT motion is that of a glider-rocker. Men are better at thrusting, women tend to be better at side to side or rotation of the hips so my husband does the gliding part ( he can't be still nor do I really want him to ) and I gind my pelvis in both side to side and rotatoinal patern over his pubic bone. When I'm approching orgasm is when I need him to be still and let me go the rest of the way. (Picture the little mermaid as she crests from the water onto a rock) I lean closer to him, tilt my pelvis and grind into him until I peak. This sounds allot like what you enjoyed with other partners. Why isn't it good enough for this guy?
I've only had orgasmic succes with the standard WOT ( ie, facing my partner) and the CAT position ( facing my partner ) so I can't offer any suggestions for cowgirl or to do WOT rough rider style. But, I think that you need to look at this differantly. He's going to get off one way or another so why can't you have something in the encounter that's for your enjoyment. You are already enduring jackhammer and rough sex for his enjoyment and pleasure, why can't WOT be something that his desires take a back seat so you can get yours too? Eventually you are gong to get resentfull about it it your needs and sexual fulfillment aren't satisfied.
You need to stop him and tell him your needs would be better met if he slowed down a little..... if words won't stop him handcuffs will.