Hello! I am new here. I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. I am 21 years old and have been dealing with TMJ since I was about 15. TMJ is basically this weird jaw joint thing where my joint pops and cracks and causes serious pain. I was told that I probably developed TMJ through grinding my teeth without ever realizing it. Two summers ago (2009) the decision was made that the only way to truly "fix" this was surgery. I have been through mouth guards, bite guards, you name it. So I took the surgery route. I was told that 95% of patients are still finding relief 5 years after surgery. I did not think to ask what happens to the other 5%, I should have :(. This past summer (2010) I tried a few injections into the joint that have not helped. I have stayed away from crunchy foods, chewy foods, twizzlers, starbursts, steak, chicken, toast, pizza, you name it, trying to help with the pain. Here is my main question. I would really like to perform oral on my boyfriend. He is aware of my jaw issue and even found me crying one night and told me that he could not take pleasure knowing that it was causing me this much pain. I know it's silly but Valentine's is coming up and I would really like to perform oral on him. It makes me excited to see how excited he gets from it. However, I need help with the pain. Does anyone else suffer from this? Or know tips on how to help? Thanks. :)
Fri, 02/04/2011 - 05:03
#1
TMJ and Oral Sex
Dear IRUN4JGR,
Pleasure can be achieved in many ways. There is off course the art of the hj! :) Remember; sex is about fun, joy and pleasure for both!
But if you'd really want to please him orally... Just a thought; would it help if wouldn't put his penis in your mouth?
I can imagine that this is the thing that puts (most) strain on your jaws...
You could give oral stimulation without putting his penis inside your mouth:
-Use your tongue: lick his penis like an icecream from balls to head (and back). Interchanging long licks, small flicks or you could even spiral a bit (without putting him inside your mouth). Specifically flicking your tongue along his head and other hotspots could drive him wild!
-Use your lips: stimulate his penis by kissing and suckling with your lips. Don't take him in, but go from balls to head more like how you'd eat corn (without teeth off course, unless he's into a bit of very gentle nibbling ;)). Or only suckle the tip of the head (barely opening your mouth thus preventing strain). Don't forget his balls. Innerthighs may be very sensitive too.
-Use your hands: don't let the entire action depend on your mouth. In fact; I usually combine bj with hj. Holding the penis with one hand and moving up and down, while pleasing him with my mouth simultaneous. To him this feels as a blast of stimulation. As the entire penis becomes very slippery (basically; cause of my spit ;)) I will weave the basket (using both hands :)). You can simply use technique interchangeably. Let your senses guide you!
-Use a proper position as you may know, the jaw will tense up more in certain positions than in other. Basics; the more you bring your chin to your chest, the more strain. And you probably have a few do's/dont's of your own! Chose a position wisely in which your jaw is most relaxed.
-Watch & learn & communicate You seem to already know what he likes. But for other readers (and perhaps you) I too like to point out that the best way to discover this is to watch and learn. Watch him masturbate and take mental notes on where his hotspots are and how he stimulates those. Combine this knowledge with some of the advantages you may have (such as your tongue). And find your ways in how to prolong or speed up his pleasure. While you're at it; keep reading his bodylanguage (sex is different each time) and keep communicating on what feels good (after all: you can't read minds!).
-Pay attention to yourself! Last but not least. Don't forget to stay "connected" to yourself; is your body still ok with what you're doing? Are you still comfortable? Especially with such condition it is important to not overdo it. Don't push yourself when you think you could make it through another few minutes of pain just to make him come. When it's enough, it's enough. Off course he's not happy with a girlfriend crying in pain!
More tips (though not all some may suit you or give you inspiration)
[url=http://www.sexinfo101.com/pm_fellatio.shtml]Sexinfo101.com: Fellatio I - Basics
[url=http://www.sexinfo101.com/pm_fellatiosecrets.shtml]Sexinfo101.com: Fellatio II - Advanced
[url=http://www.sexinfo101.com/pm_handtechniques.shtml]Sexinfo101.com: Hand-job Techniques
[url=http://www.handjobadvice.com/]Handjobadvice.com: Educational vids on Hand Job Techniques
Dear IRUN4JGR, TMJ sounds like a nasty condition! I have no experience with that. I do have a jaw that "pops" and sometimes "locks" so that I can't open it any more than half an inch or I can't close it after I yawn. And since I know how much that hurts, I can imagine this must be agony for you at times! I hope these tips help you to please him without hurting yourself. Good luck!
Thank you so much! These are wonderful ideas that I'm sure I will bring with me when I see him next weekend. Right now we are doing the long distance thing while I finish my last semester in college. One of the things that we have become really good at it is listening to each other; about almost anything. That was one of the first things I noticed when we were intimate for the first time-he paid attention to me-which of course made me want to pay attention to him even more.
Yes, TMJ is a nasty little annoyance. Especially since I wear a huge nightguard to bed to prevent more grinding-doesn't exactly make me feel sexy enough for morning sex. But hopefully with your advice I can change that. Again, thank you so much!
There are many other ways you may pleasure your guy, you can lick him instead of giving him a blow job. I don't think you should because it may increase the pain in your jaw and make things harder for you in the long run. Why don't u try giving him a super handjob (super slow and teasing) or a breastjob maybe a footjob. There are many other ways to please him without hurting yourself.
Thank you for your suggestions. However, I have been a runner and a dancer (ballet) all my life and my feet should be chopped off at the ankles, they are awful and I have not let anyone NEAR them for years. :) But thank you for your helpful suggestion, I might try that first one ;)
My wife has TMJ, and it took her a while to get used to dealing with that while sucking me. The best thing that works for her is to relax as much as possible...she lets her tongue do the work. She'll take breaks by licking my shaft and balls before taking my cock into her mouth again. She can deep throat me now and take it prety hard for a while by just relaxing and breaking when she need to. She finds that it doesn't bother her as much if i fuck her face instead...that can get pretty intense too...just be prepared to gag if you do that too long.
Thank you for the thoughts binolaguy32, I plan to try all of these suggestions when I see him this weekend. Hopefully I can get at least one to work. He knows all about this whole jaw annoyance and is willing to do whatever it is so that I'm not in pain. Ha, mabe I should just take a pain pill before the whole thing starts! :) Again, thanks to everyone or the responses, I will let everyone know which suggestions worked when I get back.