my husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We have a great time making out and foreplay and what not, but it seems that he is rip roaring and ready to go, and I am definitely not. BY the time I am ready, he is not, and he hardly ever gets hard enough again after that. I'm having trouble getting properly aroused too. When he's in me, i don't really feel it. When he is hard, it is only for a minute or two, and he's shrunk back down, and there's no chance of coming back out to play. Also, how do you know when you've had an orgasm... what are the "symptoms" so to speak
Fri, 07/27/2007 - 08:23
#1
Timing differences - and orgasm? help please
If you were having an orgasm you would know, there are no absolute signs other then he "just rocked your world"...you would know and be dying to go back for more. When he enters you have you told him you need more time? DO you move around a great deal? Ever try tightening the PC muscles around him?
well, i started to get frusterated because by the time i was ready, he wouldn't be again for the night. (we ended up being virgins until like two weeks after we were married) So, I just started thinking If I want it, I'm going to have to do it when he's ready, or I'm not going to get it. I have tightened around him, and he loves it, but again, I feel absolutely nothing.
have you ever masterbated at all to just get a feel of what you like and how you like it inside of you? once you have experimented a little in how you feel about techniques and what not you've tryed on yourself you could ask him to do the same show him around yourself ect you and him would probably have a much better idea of what you like then. :)
it's a case of he has to slow down and arouse you first with foreplay then stick it in and bang away,
Are you telling us that he's only good for one erection in any 24 hour period?
Tsk tsk - not good. He has to learn control by doing his own kegels to the point where he can orgasm without ejaculating. He does this by repeatedly stopping the flow while urinating. He can also focus more upon you during penetration by massaging your G-Spot with the head of his penis. Using lube makes it feel even better. Please make sure he is properly hydrated before you begin. Cool but not chilled water is best. But a cool sports drink will also work. By focusing like this, he should be able to more carefully control his speed of orgasm.
There are three main areas of your body he should be familiar with: the clitoris, the G-Spot and the posterior fornix. Stimulation of each area brings on its own particular orgasm. After the first orgasm, your entire body will be one erogenous zone - so take deep breaths, relax and let the orgasms come assuming he continues to stimulate you with hands or mouth. It gets to the point where the merest breath of wind will send you off into another orgasm. It is great!
Now then, to speed you up, think about sex - how good it feels with him, and so on. Sex begins in the mind so get at least a part of your mind focused upon it. For example: lifting something heavy - oh I wish 'Frank' was here to help me with his big strong arms - mmm, arms wrapped around me, mmmm - you see what I mean? If possible, shower together before bed time having him wash you and you him.
Involuntary signs that you have orgasmed: dilated pupils, a sex flush, female ejaculatory fluid (wet spot), hardening of the nipples, and flexion of the cervix. How it feels to you? Well it is one blast past Jupiter at maximum warp speed but don't tighten up instead take a deep breath, relax, and let the feeling roll - women are capable of multiple orgasms just relax and move past the sensitive period and they'll keep coming. Men are too but it is more difficult to achieve.
What I get out of what Peanut is writing is that the two of them are not doing much if any fooling around (read: necking, petting, & heavy petting)--not foreplay that comes much later in the process.
How much time do the two of you spend just making out, Peanut? I ask because you make it sound like he is ready to go from the opening bell, so to speak and then either he does not, or the two of you, do not spend much time making out which is required for you to become aroused. If this is the case no wonder he looses "it" and you never get "it" until much later.
I recommend that the two of you read the how-to articles in the Index.
THanks everybody... yes Doc, we have both read those articles. even before we were married. What was happening was that we were going through those steps, and I was extremely aroused, but he was not. So then I'd get him all aroused up, and I no longer was very wet. THen it would go back and forth. SO, i decided that ok, he's not going to erect, so next time it comes, we'll just do it without me being all fired up. I'll have him read about the excercises. I have been doing them myself. we make out for atleast 45 minutes, and move on the the foreplay stuff. So it does take us a long time. needless to say, we only get to make love if one of us doesn't have to wake up way early or something. I go to work in the afternoon, and he goes in the early morning.
making out and foreplay should arouse both of you I get hard just from kissing/making out
Lubricant takes care of that not wet item and if you find you can ejaculate, you'll both not have to worry about that. Just caress the "button" and there you are - sopping wet! It can be done. Read the sticky about G-Spot and Female Ejaculation.