My new bf is uncircumcised and I am having a few problems with pleasing him that I have never had before with anyone.
I would appreciate any help you guys can give me.
I have always been able to make a man cum very easily with bj's and haven't done much in the way of hj's really. Doesn't seem to work with this one though! I have asked him what things turn him on and he told me hj's and bj's amongst a few other normal things.
He seems to have quite a tight foreskin and the first time we were together that I started to give him a bj, I retracted the foreskin and started to lick him etc, but after a short while, he said it hurt and that he was very sensitive because he was uncut. He pulled his foreskin back over his penis( he seems to do this quite a bit during sex). All my previous men have been uncut and none of them have had this problem (that I know of anyway).
I have since tried again, but I am at a total loss about what to do, as it was a complete disaster and I ended up feeling embarrassed and confused. I plan to ask him to show me what he likes next time and I have also bought some flavoured lube to try out. I figure that it may help if there is less friction. I don't know.... it is really starting to bug me and upset me too, to think I cannot please him in this way.
Any ideas anyone???
Wed, 11/22/2006 - 09:07
#1
tight foreskin/sensitive man - bj/hj help needed pls
Circumcision?
I used to have that problem, it will go away, or atleast it did in my case, it might be because the nerve endings arent used to the pressure becuause it had the foreskin covering it.
Natural vs circumcised can be a blessing (I've been told) and a problem (I've read about many times). The (hyper)sensitivity you describe is typical. The reason is because the Glans is and has been protected from exposure to the outside world, like underware and pubic hair, other skin, and the elements in general that work to desensitize the circumcised Glans.
> after a short while, he said it hurt and that he was very sensitive because he was uncut. He pulled his foreskin back over his penis
This response and his actions are not unlike what many women experience when their clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch right before climaxing. When this happens sexperts recommend covering the clitoris with the inner labia and massaging it through them. Another approach is to stimulate the clitoris indirectly by caressing adjacent pieces-parts, including the shaft that is buried.
For guys with an intact penis the foreskin can be kept forward and the Glans stimulated indirectly through it in much the same way. The foreskin is also endowed with some sensitive nerve ending that further enhance his arousal. I suggest doing a little test to see when and how much direct touching he can take and when his foreskin must be used for indirect stimulation--then work within these boundaries.
> I plan to ask him to show me what he likes next time
YES! Ask him to show you how he masturbates and then to take your hand and guide it over a few sessions until you learn to mimic his handjob technique--something that is specific and unique to each individual. (BTW, the same is true for you with him!)
> I have also bought some flavoured lube to try out. I figure that it may help if there is less friction.
Flavored or not, lubrication will intensify pleasure without the need for so much pressure/friction.
These suggestions should stop you from being bugged and upset. Just explore and learn together, as noted above.
Give all this a few tries and please report back.
Thank you for your replies. Circumcision? Yes, well he did say he has been thinking about this for years. Not really something that I can help with however.
We are both in our 40's and although he says he has been single for a while, I suspect he has always been like this, so the sensitivity is perhaps long term.
I tried the lube and it did seem to make things better as his foreskin was not pulled at all and stayed over his penis. After a minute or so though, we ended up having full sex, where he came after a few minutes....hmmm, perhaps it worked better than I thought after all.
before bj give his cock a really good massage. Pay particular attention to his foreskin. try some of these http://www.cumm.co.uk/photogal/eml02788.htm