My girlfriend and I have just started making love, we're both relatively new to sex. foreplay is great, and we're both relaxed, but when it comes to penetration, no matter how relaxed we might be, she feels an extreme pain in the muscles around her vagina. I've heard from friends that this is sometimes the case for women in their first few times. We both really want to get past this stage (she's more frustrated than i am about this) and start to have some fun with it. Is there anything that i can do to help her become more relaxed?
It just seems that even though both of us want to make love, there will be this pain, and i really dont want to cause such excruciation. Its not fair on her.:(
would greatly appreciate any advice
cheers
cg
There should not be "pain". The only thing she really should be feeling is a bit of tightness upon initial penetration. She has to relax herself, it's as if she is anticipating an unpleasant feeling;therefore, tightening up. There is not much you can do, if she is properly stimulated and is ready she will overcome the fear and just relax.
Even after many years we still remain tight; it's just we learn not to tighten the muscles and allow them to relax and enjoy. I love the feeling of initial penetration (especially if I have not had sex in a few days) and as you get going with the rhythm you loosen up.
Some women have an involutary tightening of the sphincters. Most get over this with a relaxed practice; some do not. If this continues, post again and we will get more specific. In the meantime, look around. There are many threads on exactly this issue - some much more serious.
Well... im also new to sex and at least in my experience pain did happen the first and maybe even the second time we had sex... however in third time, pain was over :O ... what i think it might work for you is a way better lubrication :B ya' know.. more foreplay, a little bit of oral stuff... and just play a lot and have some fun.. no pressure (: and then ... pain might stop!