If you are on birth control you have to be examined annually. If you have a problem, tell her you are experiencing severe cramps and need to see a doctor or that you think you have a yeast infection. Also, look for the local Planned Parenthood site near you since you do not require parental consent.

Be certain he uses a condom as well...now, to tell your mother or not? Why? I would encourage you to do so but if it causes mental anguish to the extent you describe, she might lock you in a room. Or you can ease into the conversation.

BTW: You are already engaging in sexual activity; meaning you are having sex. Just not engaging in intercourse to date.

Learn NOW to keep your mouth shut about your sex life. She does not need to know such details esp since she finds the conversation so uncomfortable which is very unfortunate. Perhaps your mother has had poor lovers in the past or bad sexual experiences - this would account for her reaction.

Please be sure to also use condoms along with your birth control. It is a good habit to get into.

Just remember that if you are going to behave in adult behaviors, you must be adult about it.

How old are you? And how old is he? What is the relationship like between your parents and him? Do they like him, are there issues?
I would sit and talk to mom about sex. Not that you have a bag packed and are on the way to crawl into bed with your boyfriend, but about sex. I know who wants to talk to our parents about sex.
Does she feel that she started to early? Does she regret who that first one was? Open up, and get her to open up. Have a discussion, set the groundrules, no yelling, shouting, being untruthful, and accept that there may be questions that neither you or her want to speak about.

I disagree with the above post.

As long as you're ready to be an adult about the situation, then you don't have to deal with your mother being a child about it.

But if she asks, do not lie. But there's no sense in telling her what she doesn't want to hear, specially when it's so irrational.

[QUOTE=Ephemera;226646]I disagree with the above post.

As long as you're ready to be an adult about the situation, then you don't have to deal with your mother being a child about it.

But if she asks, do not lie. But there's no sense in telling her what she doesn't want to hear, specially when it's so irrational.[/QUOTE]

I agree..... Mothers who are that much against it should not be approached with the subject....
(many years ago my mother was the same and If I hadn't escaped I probably would be a virgin today:eek:)

Read all you can and learn about all the aspects of Adult Relations;)
Also go to the place Sera suggested... I think it is what we call "Family Planning Clinic" here in my country... They will give you great advise and help you make the best choices for you...
Good Luck

I was 14 the first time I had sex. 33 years later I wish that my mom and I had been able to have a conversation about sex. Not that it would of changed what I did, it might of, but so that there was a base to build on.
It's not so different than wanting to be able to talk to them about drugs, school, and other life issues. You don't have to get into specifics until you are ready, but to keep that door open how wonderful.
When my 2nd cousin S found out him and his now wife found out she was pregnant, he called his two brothers, told them and asked who do I tell? Mom or dad, who yes were married. They both said dad, he had a way of telling their mom, my 1st cousin news. So he told his dad, his dad told his mom and then he, mom, dad and the girlfriend had a chat.
hey had only been going out a few months, after he ended a relationship that had been going on for several years. Condom broke, she couldn't be on b/c pills, and well they have a totally beautiful little girl, turned 3 last week. And they got married this past summer. I see it this way, is it better to open the lines of communication when it's just communication or when the communication is necessary. Secrets have a way of coming out, why keep them?????

It is NOT "keeping a secret" it is being adult and minding your own business. Sure, it would be great if her mother was with her on this and they could discuss it but they CAN'T. Accept the reality. I could talk with my mother but I realise that not all girls and young women can. They simply do not have those kinds of mothers and/or those kinds of relationships with their mothers that they can talk about major life issues. Just the luck of the draw. They may be able to talk about other things. They may be able to talk about it later. But if it is not possible now, it is not possible now.

If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to keep your mouth shut with those who either do not need to know or do not want to know about your sex life.

qqkachoo - DON'T make her problem, your problem. You'd have thought that subsequent good experiences would have mitigated her one bad experience but apparently she cannot let it go and therefore fears for you. This also means that she doesn't see you clearly as a different person than herself when she was your age but that's something you cannot help.

I have raised a daughter who began her explorations at age 16 just as you have. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I am both vastly experienced, willing to talk to her about anything, and rather than being shocked at her doing something would ask her why didn't she try this as well? Although I did think her wearing that one particular dress was a bit much - but since her father didn't see her - all was well.

I'd say if asked just being calm and matter of fact "nothing - a few kisses" and then shrug. Then talk about something else like school, college, what's for dinner.

I agree w/EEK. Realize, at least try as her daughter, most often moms are this way due to over protection...generally there was somehting such as an unplanned pregnancy or rape which they do not want to let their daughters know about--they think it will taint your thoughts on sex. MEANWHILE, their not talking to you or discussing the way they have IS tainting your thoughts. Learn as much as possible & try to flip the questions to her...when she gets on your case...ask her what happened so bad that you are so worried, tell her your friends moms are not so upset, see if she tells you a more truthful story...and be sympathetic if she does & tell her you will always use safety.

I actually got the idea from the new show on MTV, with Dr. Drew. It's called Sex ... With Mom and Dad. If you get that channel check it out, it's quite the show. In one episode a girl/young woman asks her dad if you can get pregnant by having anal sex. She's getting ready to go off to college and she wants the lines of communication open, so she turned to Dr Drew. In another a young man totally was upsetting mom, she finds out he had sex in the back seat of her car, where his little brother sits, but as he said, "I didn't leak". He lives at home, brings girls home, there is only one full bath in their home and these young ladies and mom have run into each other there. She told Dr Drew he was a man whore.
When he had to invite some of his ex's to dinner, most wouldn't even take his call, and only two came for dinner. And he was shocked when he found out he was not as skilled as he believed himself to be in the back seat.

I am 28 and still a virgin. My parents think I am a freak.

Stop waiting! Just get on with your 'education'!!

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;227424]Stop waiting! Just get on with your 'education'!![/QUOTE]
I want to, but I am scared.

omg...like I'm ever going to discuss my sex life with my parents. I'd die first.