My boyfriend has never given oral to any girl, and wants to try with me. He says he has no idea what he's doing and would want me to teach him how. I could tell him to come here and read up, but I feel it would be kind of harsh just to say "figure it out on your own".
I also want it to be something intimate we can share, but I don't really know how to approach the concept of "teaching" him how to give me oral.
Help or suggestions are appreciated. Thanks.
Have him read around on this board. I mean there is tons of advice. And you dont need to be harsh and say figure it out, this would just give him some ideas as to what to do and then when he starts doing it, give him signals...oh baby that feels good, oh yea lick there and stuff like that.
Whatever you do, dont be honest to a fault or lie to him because you dont want him thinking he is great when he isnt (cuz then he wont wanna learn any new techniques and youll be sol) and if you are too mean like wtf dont lick like that and such it could turn him off of the whole oral idea
Oh wow, I wasn't expecting such a speedy response. Thank you.
Yeah, the last thing I want to do is make him not want to do it more. I know he's only doing this because I don't like giving him head, but I do it because it's obviously one of his favorite things. Over time I've learned to enjoy giving due to his responses, and I'm really hoping it'll go the same way for him.
Is there anything I can do to make him less apprehensive? (other than have him read up and try things out)
Suggestion: The next time you are giving him head, just swing around to 69 and then tell him what you like.
69! Now that is a great idea.
My suggestion is to read The KIVIN Method of performing Cunnilingus, answered by Brandye, EEK, and Dancingdoc2
This includes an excellent video tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of integrating anal stimulation and oral stimulation, bringing this exercise to a new level! You'll find it listed in the Index.
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?''
You might also do a forum search and bookmark anything of help.
Next, go the the site's Home page and have a look at sex positions and the link to Cunnilingus, etc.
One you read these, ask him to read them with you and to discuss what he reads.
Tell him you want to explore this aspect of lovemaking with him and that you will help him by giving him feedback on how you are responding to his caresses and for what you need now. Read what I have to say about feedback. It can be both verbal and non-verbal.
Reaffirm that making love is not what one person does to the other, rather, what you do for each other--and in partnership. Explore and learn together. This should squelch his fragile male ego and his misguided need to perform flawlessly all the while knowing that he can't.
If all else fails, ask him if he rode a bike perfectly the first few times he sat upon one. Of course he did not, same goes for anything new we undertake.
And nothing is wrong with wrapping your legs around his head or grabbing his hair when they are at the right spot...
Nothing in the world is hotter than that!
Tell him while he's doing it "Mmmmm a little to your left, Oooooo yes, now a bit lighter, yesss that's it. Aaaaah!" You get the idea - coaching while making it clear that "Oh my this is good!"
Being told you are doing a good job and how to do it better is always a turn-on and the best way to learn...good old positive reinforcement.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;216418]Tell him while he's doing it "Mmmmm a little to your left, Oooooo yes, now a bit lighter, yesss that's it. Aaaaah!" You get the idea - coaching while making it clear that "Oh my this is good!"[/QUOTE]
This is the best advice here for this. Teach him by letting him explore and then be vocal during his exploration about what you like and what you don't. When he finds something you really like, you can start with "ohhhh...yeeeesssss...don't stop! don't stop!" etc...
I wouldn't recommend a 69 for the first time oral, as it's more of an advanced oral position. For the first few times doing oral it's nice to give and recieve in turn so you can both relax and appreciate the sensations being given, or, the sensations you are creating.
Most importantly, you have to relax while he's down there too or it won't feel good for either of you no matter what he does with his tongue/mouth.
Once he's had a go, bring up this website and how great it is for information. That way it won't feel as though you're pushing him into it. Cause if he's a good lover, good lovers are always looking to become even better lovers. This website has a ton of invaluable members and information.
There is also another site just on cunnilingus, called www.cunnilingustutor.com and they have a pretty good resource for ideas. Really, there is no better teacher than practice, just be sure to let him know what works and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to be vocal, that's very important.
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]There is nothing wrong with teaching him how to give you head. That’s how I learned how to do it. I was dating/friends with this girl that was a couple years older then me. She lay back on her bed and instructed me on what she liked. Kind of like what EEK said. She also taught me a few good tricks like keeping your tong soft and this cool humming trick. It was a lot of fun for both of us. [/SIZE][/FONT]