I love it when my boyfriend talks dirty to me...and he wants me to do it back, but we are new to sex and I'm shy. Plus, I don't know exactly what to say. When he asked me why I have such a hard time, it went like this:
me: well, have you ever seen the movie "Clueless?"
b/f: yes.
me: then you know that scene where Alicia Silverstone is trying to be sexy by flipping her hair and she
falls of the bed?
b/f: yep.
me: thats what I feel like when I try to be sexy. I feel akward and stupid. Like I'm falling of the bed.
And then he laughed...so how do I talk dirty? And guys, what is it you like to hear?
HELP!
I agree with oberon. Playing off of what he says is a great idea...and talking dirty doesn't necessarily always involve dirty words. Often when people say talk dirty to me this implies talk to me about sex, about what makes you feel good, about what you like......
Have you had any success with the ideas we've given you so far?
Nanny,
Thank you for your advice and sensitivity. I appreciate it very much.
Mushroom,
Just because I'm a little shy does not mean that I am not creative or witty. Thank you for making me look like an ass. I thought the whole point of this message board was for learning.
Have a nice day.
Well, Justify, that last post sounded pretty quick and witty, so I don't really think that is your problem.lol
Try starting out by telling your b/f what feels good. ie. "I love it when you kiss me there." You say he has no problem talking dirty to you, so play off that. Respond to what he says. As you get more comfortable, it will come easier(no pun intended).
Like everything else, take it slow and you get better with practice.
Hey Justify
I don't totally agree with Mushroom.....yes, it is about attitude, but you want to be comfortable with what you are saying, and if this is someone you care about, you also want to be careful about what you are saying. It is hard at first to feel out what type of language is okay,and it does feel strange at first if you aren't used to using it.
I also find it depends on the situation. If you like being talked dirty too, that is awesome, think about what you like to hear and why. Perhaps try practicing a few things before you too get together. And if something turns him on in particular, (without over doing it) you can always be repetitious and play off of that phrase of idea.
Mostly, if you guys are both into it be wild, experiment and have fun! This is a great way for you two to learn more about yourselves and eachother as sexual beings!
Talking dirty is mostly about attitude. Talk to him like you would to a bad dog...disappointed and angry, but not mad like you want punch his lights out. Feel free to push him around, "wrastle" or manhandle him.
It sounds like you aren't very quick, witty, or creative. Don't worry, you can't help being slow.
Besides, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you don't care about his response. Feel free to say wildest things that come to mind.
When he does something that actually pisses you off, that would be a good time to take it out on him.
i was the same way starting out
im very shy and i just felt silly saying naughty things.
how my b/f got me to be more open is sometimes he'd ask me what id want and if i didn't say it out loud..explicit in nature..lol. then i wouldn't get it.
like if i wanted penetration or oral i had to ask for it.
he didn't do this everytime just on occasion and it helped me be more open.
coming from a guy talking dirty just gets us in "the mood"