I'm an extremely shy person, especially when it comes to sex. For anyone familiar with the Meyers Briggs temperment testing, I've scored 100% Introverted every time (ages 3, 14, 18 & 24). Also, I was molested as a small child so sex has a different dimention for me than my partner -- he's almost 15 years older than me & much more experienced in so many ways, but in that respect he's the innocent one. Anyway, I'm learning how to enjoy myself sexually for the 1st time in my life & at the same time learning what a healthy relationship with a good person is all about ... pretty scary stuff, this being "normal" :rolleyes: :p So, with the flashbacks & panic attacks calming down I'm hoping to start being the one to innitiate some sexual activity at least some of the time. This is completely new to me & the very thought of it has caused my throat to close, my stomach to churn & my eyes to burn. But, I want to do this. I want to for him, but more importantly, I want to for me. I feel the desire to do something/anything & I hold back -- fear. All kinds of fear. Yet I know the fear is not real. So here I am ... I'm asking if anyone remembers when they were as nervous as a virgin & what did you do? (You see, I never experienced that whole losing virginity thing, I just got ****ed all the time). What kind of things would a guy like for a girl to do when she's innitiating sex :confused: :o
Fri, 04/21/2006 - 03:29
#1
Taking the lead....
If I may presume to make a recommendation, you might consider NOT taking the Myers Briggs test again... LOL Actually, I commend you... too often these tests end up creating and recreating an identity that we feel powerless over. You do not seem to be making that mistake.
Congratulations on what sounds like a healthy relationship and for discovering how to enjoy yourself. Please stay focused on that... and remember your own wise words in this post. The fear isn't real.
I think perhaps what is most important here is not the specific techniques. As you are discovering, sex is about communication. You might find it helpful to think of it less about "initiating sex" and more about how and what you can communicate to your partner... the love, the passion, the desire, the need...
You may end up being surprised how much you can say with a simple look or a simple touch.
Just relax, communicate, enjoy...
& yes, the MBTI has been required for schools -- I went to a "gifted" school at 3 yrs. old (my tutor was the perpetrator), then a private school at 14 & my colleges both required it, too ... the last time I made a point to complain to the professor that I'd taken it so many times it was becomming a self-fulfilling prophecy :rolleyes: