I would think only you can define that for yourself. Read Doc's post from over the weekend to a male poster:

> ...i really really do regret losing my virginity....

This is a debatable issue and one that some members of the community may differ with me on; however, if you really did not get inside the vagina, stroke and thrust away along the full length of your penis, finally ejaculating, it is fair to say in my never to be so humble opinion that you are still technically a virgin. My logic about this is that you could have done more with your finger placed inside and doing this does not constitute loosing your virginity. Think of it as getting your foot in the door without actually stepping inside the building. Did you actually get inside? I leave the final analysis of your virginal state for you to decide.

Honestly it's one where you are sitting on the line of is it yes or no to being a virgin. The lines are blurred to some points so it's your call. Personally, I would say call yourself which every you wish!

In some regions of the Middle East, religion and culture dictate that a woman's status be determined for certain by examination. Sometime before marriage a village elder or senior male member of her family will examine her to ensure that her hymen is indeed intact. If so, she is marriage material. If not, she is often ostracized by the community and sentenced to live a life of seclusion within her family. How outrageous is this, considering the following?

In Western societies where girls and women are physically much more active (apparently) it is not uncommon for the hymen to rupture from participation in sports, the use of Tampons, dildos, or, simply eroding away naturally. Societies are much more liberal and tend to take a woman's word on whether or not she has ever engaged in intercourse.

Thank you, Sera, for providing the quote for Tataa.

Does it really matter?

IMO your virginity = ignorance and should, therefore, be "lost" as quickly as is possible.

The idea that a woman only has value "between her thighs" is repugnant- and whatelse is virginity but that?

Congratulations. WHY does it matter to you?

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;193576]Congratulations. WHY does it matter to you?[/QUOTE]

some people want their first time to be memorable, or meaningful. it has nothing to do with a girl's "value"

Not sarcasm. Asking you to articulate your reasoning so you yourself understand it.

You want to feel comfortable with that person. You cherish your virginity and think it is special. You want the first time to be wonderful, memorable, and with a good person.

Why? Because 50% (citation needed) of girls regret losing it to a jerk. Ignoring that 50% had a great time or at least have no regrets?

So how will you know right place, right time, right person? Does s/he have to be a virgin too?

You still have not answered why you cherish your virginity.

[quote=tataa;193601]Sarcasm? Not needed.
Anywho it matters a lot because
it's something I want to cherish.
I want to give my virginity away to someone
who actually cares about me and I feel comfortable with.

50% of the time most girls wish they haven't lost
their virginity to a certain jerk. I'm determined not to be one of them..[/quote]
I think your thoughts raise more of the question of the types of people many have chosen to date and subsequently slept with--poor quality & poor character. I would have to say; I would only date, hang around with, men of quality then the issue is repaired all around. Following the logic you state; if you wish it to be special than why not wait until you marry?

It seems that you have decided that while you do not want him to be 'inexperienced' that virginity is of little or no value for men - that it does have a value for women. Sounds like a combination of sexism and egotism. If the men you date are not worthy - why are you dating them at all? Seems to me that if you can say no to sex then you should be able to say no to dating unworthy men. Did you ever consider that perhaps a man would rather like someone who had some clue as to what she liked and how men work?

You seem to feel that men prize virginity. Well, perhaps some do, but from this side of the marital divide - nope! Far too many men who had married virgins are now finding out after 20, 30, or 40 years - that they had made the biggest mistake of their life when they married virgins. Seems being able to say no to sex carried over into the marriage. How do I know? Because they are chasing my tail, or someone else's. Or they are writing into sites like this asking for help and counsel.

If you choose to remain a virgin - fine, that is your perogative - but living an unexamined and unconsidered life is never good.

[quote=tataa;193624]I just might wait until I'm marry. Seeing that a lot of guys
I fool with are not worthy.[/quote]

Sounds as if you are stuck in a "rut"; among a group of guys who have little value for women. And among that you made a mistake in an attempt to sexually explore with the wrong type of guy. When you expand your circle to include some really worthy guys, you may feel differently.

Honestly, looking back, I would not want to be a virgin getting married. I refer to what doc says about sampling what humanity has to offer. Date many men who are nice & decent see what their vales/morals are (different then the ones you currently hang with) and when the correct opportunity comes about decide then.

Even sex without love does not result in feeling like a one night stand (had one or two of those & they suck) but finding a man who has consideration for you as a woman is what you need. In time, knowing what you enjoy sexually and what your libido is like is helpful in choosing a life long mate! There are men who have high regards for women, even if their relationship is based on friendship and sexual, it's the morals & ethics of the individual.

I would not want to marry to later find out he liked twice a month and I liked once a day and there was no room for compromise. BUT I think you are trying to put yourself on the spot right now...life is never absolute. When you date quality & worthy men, you attract more of them...

Very good. No more dating unworthy men just to have a date. Apply the same standards to your current dates as you plan to apply to your future lover/husband. I love it when women take control over their lives! Just remember to play fairly - apply those same standards to yourself as well as to others.

If the avatar is you; you are gorgeous! Do as suggested by stepping up to a higher standard and taking control over your life & the outcomes are imperative. You write well, you are worthy, be fair to you and try not to allow one bad experience influence your future in an absolute way.

You will find you have much to offer and will attract men of such standards!

wow ive come into this one late. but from the very first question ou asked i personaly would say you were a virgin as it was a failed attempt at sex:) and i hope you find some you you trust enough to have sex with soon:) x