Ryan,

It sounds as though you are trying to choose between having a girl friend (or at least looking for one) and continuing with your racing hobby. I don't see why you would have to choose to do one and ignore the other. You can do both effectively. Just remember that the world will not stop rotating if you miss a race or two. For me, racing has always been a "personal satisfaction" thing. I have never raced to make money or impress people. I do it for my own enjoyment and you should too. Try not too get too caught up in running for points and having the "I can't miss a single race" attitude. When you meet a girl, she'll probably be somewhat intrigued by your racing. If you are lucky, you will be able to take her initial curiosity about the sport and mold it into a genuine appreciation for what you do. Just keep in mind that life is a two way street. If you expect her to support you in racing and attend racing events and functions with you, you must inturn offer to do things with her that she enjoys. You are young and you will meet someone. Keep an open mind buddy!

You said you want to wait for the right one but you also want sex, contradicting yourself??? I can understand what you are saying though. Take a step back and review the problem, if there is one, and decide if waiting is worth it, or if you want to throw away your virginity to just anyone. Like you said she might turn out to be a whore that breaks your heart.

Or you could choose to wait a month, a year, or 5 years and find the right girl and feel much better about the situation when it happens. Good luck.

The son of my best friend graduated HS and went off to a trade school that trains race car mechanics. He did well in school and this was rewarded with a job offer from one of the top race teams in the nation. Over the course of ten years he traveled the us during the season, lived out of motel rooms, and essentially lived a mobile life. After moving from one team to another he finally called it quits and decided to return home and get a life. He now has a nice girlfriend and works for his brother-in-law who has a transmission shop and does some racing on the side. This story has nothing to do with you, I only mention it as one individual's scenario. He's worked for some of the best teams in the nation, traveled, seen the country, made some good money, and is now ready to scale back so he can start a family and participate in racing on a smaller scale.

You are quite normal in size and reaction. A 20 yo man can have many ejaculations in one session and just keep going. A friend who knows what is going on will be quite supportive and not disappointed the first time you ejaculate. Most women will feel quite proud that they do that to/for you, understanding that you have more for them to enjoy. As a young woman I would habitually jack my partner off during foreplay so he would last longer and not be in such a hurry. You will find a girl.

From one racer to another, I know first hand what you mean about working on your race car all the time. Race cars are greedy, they want all your time and most of your money!

As far as girls and sex go, I was much like you....too pre-occupied with racing and wrenching on cars to divert much attention to girls. It's not that I didn't want a relationship, it just never seemed like there was extra time to put in the efforts to find someone. Then all of a sudden I realized that I wasn't getting any younger and a lot of time had slipped by while my head was burried under the hood of the car. MAKE the time and something WILL happen for you, I'd almost guarantee it.

I'm not suggesting that you turn your back on your sport/hobby or your friends, but try to put aside some time for a personal life outside of racing. In my 15 or so years hanging around speedway pit areas and garages I haven't run across a lot of eligible single women. You have to make yourself available to the interested girls. Oh and by the way, when you do go on a date, you probably want to limit the racing conversation to about 25% or less of what you talk about (unless she's the one asking for more) even though it probably consumes 90% of your spare time.

As for the worry of being ineadequate in bed. I wouldn't be too concerned with it. If you've been jackin' off to porno as long as you say, you've probably "trained" yourself to cum in a certain amount of time. It is much different being with a woman. Besides there are lots of ways for you to please each other even if you don't actually have intercourse. You might benefit from getting a hold of one of the more "educational" type sex video tapes. It would explain in detail how to get a woman arroused and the basic principals to acheiving satisfying sex for both partners. It is much different than watching pornos. The XXX stuff is unrealistic in many ways, not the least of which is the way the men always seem to dominate the woman and only worry about themselves getting off. And 6" erect is a very respectable size in the real world.

Once you have gotten to know a girl well enough to progress to the intimate stuff, I think you'll find that your comfort level will be better for sex. If you are relaxed and not too nervous about what she'll think or how she'll react, then the sexual energy will just be better. And if it's not great in the beginning...just remember that practice makes perfect and there's no other activity that's more fun to practice than sex! Except possibly racing, that is (LOL).

Good Luck

Hello Ryan,
You have received some great suggestions that I would take to heart and action.

You've said a couple of things that trouble me making me believe that you are your own worst enemy. What I mean is that you want a girl and a relationship yet do not seem to be willing to devote any time to either the persuit or the relationship.

I think you have to decide what is important in your life and then prioritize. A good boss deligates and a good manager manages his/her time. You need to be a good manager of your life.

If you want a relationship with a woman, then you will have to spend time where the girls are. This means taking up a hobby in which women participate, join a sporting activity, volunteer, take classes, learn to dance (my favorite) in order to be seen and to find others of similar interests.

Relationships require care and feeding. If you do not devote the time and the energy and the interest, there is no care. If you do not spend money on feeding the relationship, then you cannot expect it to be healthy. Your discretionary income will have to be further divided into sub categories that include among other obligations, doing things together, and bigger picture--building a life together.

Your car and racing may have to be placed on a lower rung so that there is room for a social and family life. So, when a woman does come into your life sometime down the road {pun, if any intended) you must be willing to budget the time and the money.

In order to broaden your horizons, I recommend telling family members, friends, and co-workers that you are available and looking for Ms Right. It's called networking and the more people you have looking the better your chances, so do this and then take up other interests and activities where you will see and be seen.

When the time comes for a date, I agree, do not monopolize the conversation with racing or cars unless queried. If you have other interests, new or not, then include them. You are better off listening to her and asking questions. Talk freely about yourself yet at the same time do not tell her all about you. Save a lot for future conversations. Tell her enough to whet her interest and give freely of the information you give.

As for your endowment, know this: It is a guy thing to be concerned about size. It is a gal thing to be concerned about control. In other words, a woman is more concerned that a man be a kind, considerate, compassionate skilled, knowledgeable lover--that he knows what to do with what Mother Nature gave him. It is a gal thing to expect that the tool be long enough for her to get a grip in order to use it like a combined throttle and brake. Women want at times to be able to control the speed of their man's arousal, its intensity, and to brake the progress from time to time along the journey to nirvana.

Penis size has a lot to do with ethnicity and genetics. Much of the world's male population have shorter penises.

I know how you feel. I didnt even have a girlfriend much less think about actually having sex with a girl, just fantasies, till I was 18. I also get off in under 5 minutes to porn, and if the girl does the right things can get my first orgasim in under a minute or so with just a handjob. It is part of being young. I am 22 now and I still have the same speed. But I find that after the first orgasim I can last longer and go for awhile, I just have a problem getting my girlfriend to go along with that, go figure. I agree with Brandye here, find yourself a nice friend that is also still experimenting with sex and have a friends with benefits type thing, this might flourish to a relationship or it might not.

[QUOTE=Jm33]You said you want to wait for the right one but you also want sex, contradicting yourself??? I can understand what you are saying though. Take a step back and review the problem, if there is one, and decide if waiting is worth it, or if you want to throw away your virginity to just anyone. Like you said she might turn out to be a whore that breaks your heart.

Or you could choose to wait a month, a year, or 5 years and find the right girl and feel much better about the situation when it happens. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

Damn right, thats the way I played it - I waited till I found the right girl, and brother, I ain't ever gonna regret that decision. I was 21 and 4 years on me and the girl in question are getting married!

I thought I would go ahead and post my situation here as well, seeing as how Ryan and I are having similar problems.

I am also a virgin at 20 and am somewhat self conscious about my size. I want to wait for the right girl, but at the same time feel like I am missing out on the most fun I will ever have in life by waiting so long.

The girl I am dating is fun and attractive, but I am not as interested in her as she is in me. Last night I turned down the chance to have sex for the first time because I wasn't sure if I wanted to give it away to a girl that I don't see a future with. But I feel like I am in the prime of my life right now, and that I should be enjoying every aspect of it. I have been weighing the two and can't come to a final decision.

I have heard from people who have waited that they enjoyed it more because it was that much more special. I guess my question is, is there anyone out there who didn't wait till marriage and glad they started while they were young? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[QUOTE='Stang_86;138171]I thought I would go ahead and post my situation here as well, seeing as how Ryan and I are having similar problems.

I am also a virgin at 20 and am somewhat self conscious about my size. I want to wait for the right girl, but at the same time feel like I am missing out on the most fun I will ever have in life by waiting so long.

The girl I am dating is fun and attractive, but I am not as interested in her as she is in me. Last night I turned down the chance to have sex for the first time because I wasn't sure if I wanted to give it away to a girl that I don't see a future with. But I feel like I am in the prime of my life right now, and that I should be enjoying every aspect of it. I have been weighing the two and can't come to a final decision.

I have heard from people who have waited that they enjoyed it more because it was that much more special. I guess my question is, is there anyone out there who didn't wait till marriage and glad they started while they were young? Any advice would be greatly appreciated![/QUOTE]

Dude, I was thirteen when I had sex for the first time. My dick got even bigger when I did it. Don't worry about size. Get all the practice you can before the dream girl comes. You don't want to suck at sex with a dream girl.