> Anyone have any advice to how I can give her that elusive orgasm?

The sad truth is that you cannot. Why? Each and every one of us is responsible for our own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope for is to help our partner achieve his/her own.

You hit the nail on the head with your use of the word elusive. Orgasms can sometimes be just that for us guys, particularly the second or third or fourth in a multiple string, yet for many women, any orgasm can be elusive. The process is somewhat different for each of the sexes and much more a given for guys. Gals seem to have to work harder to achieve them, and, as Brandye oft times states, not every woman can orgasm.

The question that you must answer is can she and has she enjoyed orgasms from masturbation? If so, then with a bit of practice, you should be able to help her achieve them. Many factors seem to have to come together for the female orgasm to happen. Distractions, fears, random thoughts of some daily concern, temperature, time of the month, present feelings about the relationship all play an active part in contributing to the success or failure of a climax.

In our own cases, what I have found to be a major hinderence is when I pause the proceedings (read: stimulation) either at the wrong time, or, for to long a time, her progress seems to be thwarted. So, I make sure that while intensity may change, the stimulation I create is not interrupted--particularly when she is nearing the point of no return.

Just as with us, fingering seems to be a positive and crucial component to that of oral stimulation. As you know, while each of the genders masturbates in the same basic ways, each of us develops a unique "art" to the mechanics that is specific to each of us. It is this fine art that we must learn if we are to be successful in mimicing our partners method. If we vary too much the stimulation we have come to rely upon over time then the orgasm will either not happen or not be as expected. What happens with oral stimulation is that it is often much more intense than what we create by hand and while exquisitly pleasurable, it is sometimes of the wrong type to trigger an orgasm.

This being the case, and feedback being a necessary requirement to every couple's success, I recommend trying a combination of manual stimulation along with the oral. Take your cues from her reactions as you have been and then press on when she wants to stop. Although not true in every situation, it is in a lot that when either of us wants the stimulation to stop, what is really required is that it continue on so that we are forced to go beyond the urge to take a breather.

More than once a girl has stated on the board that she stops all stimulation while masturbating when her body begins to tense up and/or her breating changes and becomes haulting or perhaps panting. WRONG. She needs to press on and to ignore the exhaustion and before she knows it, the drilve to not stop and to increase the speed and intensity of the movements takes over.

So, with all this in mind, your girlfriend must be able to achieve orgams through masturbation. If she either does not or cannot, she must learn how in order to know what it takes and then to give you feedback and help in how you stimulate her. Do not be afraid to press on and to take her beyond the urge to stop unless she is adamant and really needs to. If this is not the case then the urge to stop is not a need.