I recently started going out with a new girl and we have begun to mess around a little. I've been with several other girls and so know myself around somewhat. With all the other girls I've been able to get them to orgasm easily with my fingers. With my new girlfriend however I can't no matter what I do. She enjoys the experience but as of yet no orgasms (she is very inexperienced).
I find that in comparison to other girls her clit is very small and hard to find. When I do get my finger on it she starts to react as normal but either I lose it and break the mood for her or it starts to hurt her. I've tried keeping a slow steady pace on her clit and also to go faster and faster but she never progresses much. Her body and breathing react as if she is about to cum but she never seems to get there. We haven't tried oral sex yet but I'm hoping that that might help. Any ideas?
[quote]She enjoys the experience but as of yet no orgasms (she is very inexperienced)[/quote]
First one: don't assume this. She just might not do what you're used to.
[quote]When I do get my finger on it she starts to react as normal but either I lose it and break the mood for her or it starts to hurt her[/quote]
Second one: Let her masturbate in front of you and watch the stroking.
[quote]We haven't tried oral sex yet but I'm hoping that that might help[/quote]
Final one: yes, that will help. She just has to relax and so do you. Again, watch her masturbate and try some oral. :)
Does she masturbate? I would agreee with alban's statement of watching her masturbate and see where she touches and you then touch her.
[QUOTE=alban lusitanae;177818]First one: don't assume this. She just might not do what you're used to.[/QUOTE]
She has never had an orgasm but from what she describes it doesn't sound like I've given her one yet.
[QUOTE=alban lusitanae;177818]Second one: Let her masturbate in front of you and watch the stroking.[/QUOTE]
She's never masturbated and I'm pretty sure she would be too embarrassed to do it while I watched even after she got the hang of it. This is something I need to figure out without her help because she knows nothing about her own body.
[QUOTE=durst521;177863]She has never had an orgasm but from what she describes it doesn't sound like I've given her one yet.
She's never masturbated and I'm pretty sure she would be too embarrassed to do it while I watched even after she got the hang of it. This is something I need to figure out without her help because she knows nothing about her own body.[/QUOTE]
From what you say, I think you answered your own question. She needs to get comfortable with her own sexuality before anyone, includeing you, is going to completely satisfy her. If she is uptight about sex, then no amount of mechanical stimulation is going to get her off no mater how masterfully it is done. Sex is a lot more mental than just rubbing the right places. You probably need to be very patient with her, encourage lots of foreplay, tell her that regaurdless of her beliefs or upbringing, it's perfectly normal to pleasure yourself. Think about it, every male that is honest, will admit that they got themselfs off long before being with a woman.
Yeah I see where you are coming from but it's more that she's embarrassed with her body (which she shouldn't be) and she's just plain innocent when it comes to sex. She was never discouraged from exploring sex, she was just never exposed to it. Now that she has been however she is willing to try things out.
I can only tell you that,from my experiance, it gets better the longer you are together. In time she will grow more comfortable with being with you and you with her. As her trust in you develops, so will her willingness to explore and share with you what she wants. Do your best to be patient and keep communicateing. You say she is somewhat insecure with her body? Make sure to complement her assets when you are together. You know, I love your ass, your tits are sweet ect. Not that you would be lieing cause obviously you are with her ,so something about her got you're attention! Good luck
Ah man this sounds sooo familiar... I've been told I have a small clit and when I first started having sex I thought I wasn't have any orgasms. But it was just a lack of experience, after exploring my own body I was able to really know what I liked and how I liked it, that way I was able to tell my partner how he could bring me over the edge. So don't despair, as she gains more experience and confindence she'll go from no orgasms to loosing count!
Just to add. My current GF doesn't seem to have what I've been used to in the clit department either. She seems to enjoy me doing oral on her but to be honest I can't find the protrudeing little button that other girls I've been with had. She told me she enjoys it more when I lick or finger the entire length of her vagina along the lips and includeing the clit area. She says it feels really good but she needs penile penetration to get off. She's 43 and was married for 20yrs so it's not like she's new to sex. Like Cutie says, each woman needs to experiment & discover what it takes her to reach orgasm. I don't believe there is one method, position ect. that will work for all. I will go out on a limb here and say that almost all will appreaciate patience, tenderness , understanding and the willingness to comunicate effectively.
firstly the size of the clitoris is not related to the ability to have orgasms, secondly the clitoris is not necessarily her spot, I got my girl orgasming by rubbing between her vagina lips just under the clitoris
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
The two of you need to read the information in this link.
As for her masturbating as a teaching tool, this is all well and good and I recommend this all the time when this question comes up; HOWEVER, if a woman has never learned how to achieve a climax, the demonstration is a moot point. So, for those of you who have suggested she do this, you are assuming facts not in evidence. First ascertain that she has become an orgasmic being.
As for the clitoris disappearing, this is quite common. It happens regardless of size when a woman becomes very aroused. If it retracts and hides under the hood, and if you cannot get to it, then stimulate the adjacent areas such as the hood, labia, and shaft. The clitoris can often become hyper-sensitive as an orgasm approaches. When this happens, switch to indirect contact. In addition to the above ideas, fold the inner labia over the clitoris and massage and rub it through the lips.