Well, the title might be a bit deceiving, since there is no such thing as truly 'typical' or 'normal' in this kind of thing, but it interests me anyway. After all, I have seen some people come here who have been in a relationship for 5 years, yet have not progressed to having sex and this has been branded as not normal/too long by many on this forum, so although normality is in the eye of the beholder, there does seem to be some range beyond which things can be considered pretty extreme and outside the norm.
So, with the above caveats and with the awareness that there is a wide range individual variation, what is the longest/slowest time you would consider acceptable to reach the following sexual milestones in a budding long-term relationship?
1) First Kiss
2) Heavy Petting
3) Sex
Note: I am assuming a budding long-term relationship here. Obviously, if you just want sex in a one-night stand, than the answer would be 'immediately'.
Dear Humble, how do you define 'sex'? As in intercourse? Or does oral sex count as well? There are so many varieties of the definition...
Anyways, I really think it is so different to each person! There are so many reasons why people 'want to get some' or 'want to wait', just 'feel they are(n't) ready' or '(not)wait until they're older'. As a matter a fact: I don't consider people strange who jump from their first kiss towards having sex, though I probably would point out they could 'enjoy the build-up'. I don't consider people strange who wait 5 years to have sex or wait to have intercourse until marriage, though I probably would point out that having sex is a part of your relationship as well (you may want to discover at least in part if you're on the same level considering intimacy before heavily committing). I don't think youngsters should feel ashamed of sexual desire, though I would point out the risk of and prevention of pregnancy and STD (unwanted pregnancy is very difficult at any age, but especially such a young age both mentally, emotionally as well as physically for the girl). Etc, Etc, Etc...
Every situation has it's pro's and con's. Probably pointing out that there are, is the best advice given :) However, it is your choice (just need a bit of cooperation on another's behalf ;)), so who cares what should count as acceptable?! The best way for each person is to make the 'right' choices based on sufficient reliable info AND that it feels like at the time that the choice is completely your own, not forced upon in any way. That will give you a good shot of not regretting or feeling ashamed later (though no guarantee :)). Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
"A building long-term relationship" - I like the caveat.
Perhaps I'm just tired of that word "relationship" but it seems to me that people have a need to be grandiose, to color their lives as 'epic' - the good, soo good, the bad, soo bad - and this is unnecessary.
The "sexual timetable" does not exist. Each pairing works this out for themselves. I can only tell you my own: first kiss happens at the end of the first 'date' - in my circle we all kiss and hug hello and goodbye with the gentleman following the lady's lead.
"Heavy petting"? yegods! What a term. I call it foreplay and it immediately proceeds sex and then reappears, as body worship, in between individual bouts within the interlude. (Please see the sticky post The Program) Does 'heavy petting" include tying him down onto the bed?
No, Humble, I'm not making light of your question - just telling you to not get wrapped around the axle on this issue.
"Budding" relationship, not "building"--unless I missed something in the translation.
When discussing the stages of fooling around and making out, I refer to the old standard in which there is Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, and then Foreplay.
Necking=kissing and caressing above the shoulders
Petting=kissing and caressing all over except the breasts and genitals and with clothes on
Heavy Petting=all of the above to include partially undressing and including the fondling of breasts and genitals
Foreplay=manual (h/j) and/or oral (b/j)
The generic and global use of the term "Foreplay" is too broad when used to describe problems while making out. This is why I often ask people to break down where in the scheme of things their difficulty or problem happens. The same for the use of the term "sex". What is "sex"? Making out, and if so, what stage? Foreplay? Intercourse?