Yes, we all want to growup so fast. And the truth is a lot of us never growup at all.

I am encouraged however that occassionally the advice of these "kids" is better than that of the adults. It gives me hope.

LOL Wiseman....now that you mention it, hmmm.....lol.

Glad to see you around.

Stopping by to cover some PMs and saw this thread. Just in case anyone thinks that I'm masquerading as WallyLlama, nope. Sounds a little like me tho, don't it? Hang in there Wally, I understand and appreciate your reservations.

Hey, WallyLlama, it's a legitimate concern.  I don't know if I  qualify as an "old timer", but I do seem to run my mouth a lot so I'll answer anyway {lol}.

There is a post under "New to Sex" that asks for a teen count.  You might check that out.  You can also usually tell from the "tone" of a post that the poster is young.  No exact age, but you can plan your answers accordingly.

I also feel that if a kid is spending a lot of time on sex-related sites like this and the parents aren't aware, then they don't have much call to "throw stones" about whoever is educating their kids.  Before I get blasted for that statement, let me say I know how hard raising kids can be.  I have none of my own, but live in a household where it is going on.  I know kids are sneaky, but at least with a computer you can set limits and monitor what they are doing.  That being said, I hope if I was a parent, I would be glad my kids found a site like this instead of listening to other teens who probably know as much or less than they would.

Anyway, WallyLlama, glad you are on board.  More experience usually means better advice.  And hey, we "older" people have stuff to learn as well.lol

Since my usual advice is to "lighten up and not over analyze" I guess I need to take it.

But it's seriously difficult for me to ignore the fact that I may be "talking" to a child... although admittedly, it seems like an lot of 14-15 year olds are rather "world wise." I may also be old fashioned old fart, but I think advice to a 14 year old should be a lot more conservative than to a 30 year old. At the same time, you don't want to start every post with, "You don't say how old you are..."

I guess I was wondering what the "demographics" of the site are... there's realistically no way of knowing, I suppose. Do any of the "old timers" have a sense of who's here?

Wally

I agree with Rawbob, but I came in to respond to the question about children on the site.

Yes, it is a great responsibility, and one I and, I believe, everyone else on here take seriously.  And the moderators are always there to back that up.  But personally I think this is too good a place for teens to come and REALLY hear about sex.  The good, the bad, the ugly, and as Rawbob said, the sublime. One of the most important things I think they learn- besides USE A CONDOM- is that there are a lot of different stories and no two people ever approach sex the same way.  That's what makes it so frustrating, and so much fun.

I believe information is good and should be as free as possible.  Let's face it, while it would be nice if these kids could ask their parents, most won't or can't.  If the answer to just one question keeps kids from harm or death, then I'll answer questions about "better head" all day long.

edit** sorry, noticed a misspelled word.

Time for my 2 cents worth!

I love this site. It's really the only one of it's kind where the discussions are timely and CLEARLY, the posts go from the sublime to the ridiculous - but that's what makes it so good!

Yes, there are some very unnerving questions and they make you wonder in this world of the world wide web, how some folks could acutally ASK questions - but they do, and the fact that the ask them here is better then asking their friends at the water fountain or behind the gym after school.

And yes, i am one of the big "daddy" types who will add his rants on using a condom. But i always try to add more than DON"T DO IT. I, and others, try to give options and perspective on the topic...so that the person posting can at least READ about his/her options!

In closing, it's the nature of EVEYRTHING to evolve and change. In 1 year from now, there will be new folks who have become avid posters and the "old timers" will have moved on, or lost touch. But, i know we ALL will pray that they keep this FREE site up and available for those who need it. IT IS a great resource!

As a newcomer, I'll add a few thoughts and observations... and ask a question...

I joined so I could post a reply to one particular post. (Nevermind which one. LOL)

After a few days of "poking" about, it seems to me that the forum tends to consist of some number of "regulars" who freely dispense advice to teenagers. There's some value in that, I'm sure, but it carries a lot of responsibilty with it. I can understand why, in the past, there's been a lot of emphasis on condoms and safe sex!

I don't have a solution to this delimma, but I can tell you that if someone asks "how to give better head" my reply would be a lot different to a fourteen year old girl than it would be to a forty year old woman! (I might offer to demonstrate with the forty year old, but not the fourteen year old!)

So I guess one of my questions is, "Is that what the site is about?"

Because I enjoy exploring sex and sexuality... but doing it in a room full of teenagers requires a very different approach and demeanor than in a roomful of adults.

Maybe there should be an "adults only" room!

Wally

It's always a little alienating to read or hear about how good it was in the old days....

But I'm still a Newbie, as if I'd only just lost my virginity, so I'll speak from my insticts and not from my apparent experience:

Discovering this site transformed my whole perception of sex and love-making. From simple geography to getting a little bit trixy with some new techniques, I felt I grew up a little bit - from the one half of a coitus act to the beginnings of a real lover boy.

I could read and take part in frank discussions. I felt I could ask the experts and get a genuine answer really very quickly. I felt almost honoured to have a direct reply from Brandye for example.
I took advice and even began to offer some of my own. But yes, there is some pretty rife digressing during certain posts and ill-conceived personal comments besides. Perhaps that's when the moderators should intervene and redress the issues at hand. Even adults behave like children and need a referee!

I hope this site will continue to develop with the help of experienced lovers and newbies, new-cummers or who ever happens to pass through...

Breast wishes...

Well, I came back to read the newer post and ended up rereading all of these.  So, Ladies and Gentlemen, here's what I think:

Vette1963, you should never be sorry for showing concern over something.  Just the fact that you have that concern means there is at least one caring person on this board.  I happen to believe there are more- a lot more.  But the post is- no offense- a little negative.  So I'd like your and everyone's help to see if we can fix that.

Now I wasn't around for the beginning so I don't know what it was like before.  But if there were good things that have gotten lost, what were they?  How do we go about getting them back?  Let's come up with ideas and we could all send them to the mod(s).  They do listen.

I know some of the post can get annoying, but we are dealing with a lot of children here.  Children ask the same questions over and over ("Are we there yet?") and most don't have the patience to look and see if someone else asked the question already.  So just answer or feed them on to an existing thread ( How do you do that, anyway?)- just make sure they get the information.  That's the important thing.

So, guys and gals, what do you think?

I had to agree with vette1963, in part, cause think something is missing. Maybe is just that, the place is bigger now and with lots of people. I used to know most of the people, and now i can't even say who is who (maybe is because i'm not around too much any more) :P. But any how, there used to be a lot of great people around, giving good advice or talking about problems, sharing a small part of their life. Now, there are good people around too, but with so many new people, it seems like they are less and less.
Also, u don't see moderators as often as before. There was a time when they seem very involved with the board and the people. Every week there was a new thing around, like a contest, a price, a new section or just a new look some where on the board. I don't know, i just don't see people as involved as before.

Well, no one should have to appologise for anything unless they are willing and are honest about it.. but thats ok. It's up to them I guess.

Demon, i agree with you there.. lol and sorry if i was one of those.. don't think i was, i seem to look around alot.. i like lookin around to be honest.. I really appreciate who ever made this site to be honest.. cause i've learned alot just by asking those around for some tips/opinions/advice..
ALsooo, whats great about this site is.. older** no disrespect** people come in.. and are willing to.. "teach" us.. younger generation, stuff we havent been told or.. just havent figured out.. and what not.. so thats really cool.
*Ps* --- sad that wiseman wont be around as much, for that reason..

LOL oberon, i love your things on condoms.. cause really its the truth.

but yea, just my thoughts on it.

another *PS* thanks demon LOL i try not to ask those kinda questions.. :P ;) but to those who do.. meh.. power to em.. they gotta learn sometime lol

jamie

Yes but many people won't apologize after assuming that somebody had been stupid.

Thanks Demon, i love.. "HINTS" laughs.. so funny.. anyhoo.. i agree with you Oberon and Demon!! *thumbs up*

jamie

WOAH WOAH, and THe Tease.. i agree with her too!

i agree w/ the tease totally.
sometimes its apparent they aren't looking for advice...they have already made up their minds and are just looking for someone to back them up.
and cornelius... not talking about the kid you are referring too.. some kids who post sound like morons. i mean to ask something like how can i have safe sex w/out a condom/any type of BC? or do i increase the risks of STDs if i sleep w/ my cousin? i mean really come on.

one of the only things that aggravates me sometimes is a kid will post something like how do i give oral to a guy or girl? or anything basic and its apparent they didn't read around because the Mod has all those topics listed as "such and such 101" at the beginning of every section.
i just kindly post the link and direct them to those topics.

I think this is a great site.  And usually unmarred by the petty bickering that I see on other sites.  And I think most everyone on here genuinely cares- even when I don't always agree with their opinions.

I'll admit I get pretty worked up over unprotected sex.  It's hard to be sympathetic when the person hasn't done anything to prevent a bad situation and then wants to whinge about it.  It's liking watching a baby tottering toward a cliff, your first reaction is to yell to get their attention.  Then they are always so freaked out about pregnancy- which is really the least bad of the bad options.  Don't they know they could die from this?  Teens think they are indestructable, and they aren't.  If one kid goes to have sex and sees in big bold letters in front of his eyes USE A CONDOM and doesn't die of AIDS, then it's worth it.

C111: I know the post you are talking about and that kid had more than my undivided attention because he HAD taken precautions.

i don't think it's outdated.
when i started lurking here back in october and starting posting in december on some problems i was having, the same people that were around there are around now.
i, nor anyone else posting here at that time had any problem with what they were saying.

i think the problem lies with some of the newcomers.
they come in here "asking" for helping or advice, when in fact they're not looking at all.  they've already made up their mind before they even posted so any advice someone gives, they don't want to hear.  so they just start petty fights.
i admit, i told someone to use a condom next time, and they replied back and said they did.  so i apologized to them and we moved on.  which is exactly how it should be.

so again, no, i don't think it's outdated.  i just think some people need a snap back to reality and shouldn't come in here looking for advice when they don't need any to begin with because they've already made up their mind.

and that's just how i feel.
feel free to hate me for it, since that seems to be the running trend. hate others for their opinions on matters.

Probably because people come here for advice and get attacked by people that assumed they haven't used condoms. They get lectured by people telling them to use condoms, only to say later that they already do. Oops. Instead of badgering people with "USE A CONDOM NEXT TIME" and rambling on about the consequences of children and lecturing people, people should try to simply give advice without assuming that everyone is a moron.

Gosh. Do I have to state that I'm not "wiseman?"

Althought I have been told I'm a "wise man"

I did find the age survey... interesting and a bit scary in some ways. It's amazing the "issues" some 15 year olds have. Life should be a lot simpler for them... it's also intriguing how some older folks seem to have problems reminiscent of grade school stuff.

In some respects we're way ahead of ourselves and in others we're way behind, it seems.

Sometimes it feels like we should just all get naked and...

Wally