[quote]is actually a name for some one who is prejudice over someone who is younger and sexualy active?[/quote]

Yeah... a member of society.

Sex brings consequences, and not all of them belong to just two people. The guy you slept with your first time made a big error in telling the entire school, and good on you for working to rise above that. As for your friend's mum, well, you can try to prove that you're a fine upstanding young woman, but her preconceived notions are probably going to stick, and I hate to say it, but they're not good ones. You may be fully mature and ready to be sexually active, but that doesn't mean that people aren't going to doubt you based on the precedent of most people your age not being ready.

And if your friend's mum knows about your sex life (i.e. that you have one,) you might want to reconsider who ELSE knows.

Sounds strange and I do not know of a term for her behavior other then biased & cruel. I think its odd & she is being judgemental; if she had a concern she should have pulled you aside and explained her concerns expectations to you. Frankly it's none of her business.

Good job to your mom. Your friends mother had no right whatsoever to announce a subject like that to you infront of everyone. That was simpley ignorant. Honestly it is none of her business what you do. I was sexually active at 14, people knew, but no one ever became prejudice towards me so I cant really imagine what it mustve felt like for you (although my school has a rep for having the "whores" so im way below the "whore" average if you know what I mean)
But as stated before consider who ELSE knows about this. You never know right? See at the school i attend our Principals, VP's, teachers...etc are very very nosy. If they hear anything such as someone being pregnant they get totally involved in a way that school staff shouldnt. Does any staff at your school know about it? Also personally id slap that guy who opened his mouth. Very immature on his part.

Congrats to you for being so strong. Ive seen similar things happen to close friends of mine and Ive watched them break down right infront of him and its not easy for me to deal with, but I cant imagine what its like for them.

Keep your head held up high, its only school, in a few year no one will give a crap :)

I would like a moderator to make this the subject of a Sticky post. Maybe I'll have a run at this and expand it into an article: "i became sexually active before all of my friends, it was a mistake with a complete and utter looser, i was really ashamed, and to make it worse the guy i did it with told the whole school, so it became common knowledge about my sex life (that didnt even really have then)."

There is a lesson in here for both girls and boys who think they just cannot wait.

Girls-- boys often think it is cute to brag or tell.
Girls-- do not expect boys or your girl friends to keep secrets. Girls and boys both gossip.
Girls-- boys will lie, expound, expand, and tell all sorts of stories when they perceive the girl has wronged them
Girls-- boys who do not care about you except as a way to get their jollies and rocks off are not a secure bet for anything good in your future

Boys-- if you want to be mature and responsible then take note of the above information
Boys-- if you really do care about your girlfiend and say you will protect her and you take offence of others who may say or do something you believe is inappropriate, consider then, your actions, first and foremost

Kindly remember that except for your parents - you will most likely NEVER see these people again after high school. They and their opinions are not worth a tinker's damn - so to heck with them, their rumors, and the horses they rode in on. If they have nothing better/more important to talk about then they should FIND something better/more important because your personal private life is none of their business. You have my permission to tell them so.

Focus upon your grades, college, and your future. Rumors die when they are ignored. Leave misbehaving adults to your parents. This is also exactly why one does NOT date within one's circle of friends during high school. Carry your head high, girl, for you did NOTHING wrong.

take a negatrive and make it positive trust me that aint hard with being sexually active especially if you try and yes always keep the **** people who gossip attitude

I became sexually active at 15, which wasn't really considered young at my school. But, lots of people thought I was sexually active way before that, because I was flirtatious and dressed the way I wanted to. Lots of girls hated me for it, because their boyfriends thought I was hot. It's not like I had even done very much sexually, but there were definitely rumors about me and some of my friends' parents thought I was a "bad influence" on their kids. They never told me so outright or so rudely as they did to you, but it was pretty obvious and some of my friends told me so. So, I had a slightly different situation but definitely know where you're coming from. What it took for the rumors to dissipate was that I had a long term boyfriend and stuck with him. Everyone could see that I wasn't interested in cheating on him or anything like that. I think once I stopped seeming like a "threat" to other girls, no one really cared anymore. Oh, plus I started dressing a little bit more conservatively, which helped. :)

Lust:
Men will always hit on you when they know you are involved. One-it's a challenge for them, two-they might find they can "get" what is off limits, three-it's part competition, four-you are "safe" since you are already involved.

Stop worrying what people think about you. Be a nice & kind person, hold your head high, be you, and just go on with your life. Time passes and people gossip about others and forget. I always look at it this way; if someone is spreading gossip they need to get a life and for the moment they are leaving someone else alone!

In time all these individuals will need their fingers & toes to keep track of how many partners they have had. And they may find themselves in not so "desireable" conditions. Meaning, give it 5 years they never will know where their daughters will wind up.

I became sexually active at 11 and no one knew ANYTHING about it. Mainly because I never went around as a couple and I never dated within my circle of friends. I had no time for the "boyfriend" thing anyway so I just had lovers. I recommend BCPs and condom usage from personal experience.

My first time was when I was freshly 15, and the girl was 13 1/2. Im 23 now. Her first time was when she was 11 and she had several partners before me. You starting at 15 is hardly an early age. Dont listen to people - I knew more people who truly were active at 15 than people who were not in school.

Dont worry about your first time either - yea it wasnt that great and neither was mine but I am over it because I have learned and engaged with several other more memorable sexual partners and had very fruitful experiences. Do not think of it as a mistake and hang on it - You have learned from it and it has shaped you. I probably could have made different choices when I was younger but I don't regret them because as a result it has made me who I am today. Be proud of who you are and not shamed of your past.

Rumors spread largely out of jealousy. You sound responsible and mature, congrats on being able to handle a higher point in your relationship than your peers are obviously capable of. Dont stop doing what your doing and listening to anyone else. Be responsible and understand the full extent of what your doing... And enjoy it.

You are a better and more mature person than your friends mother who obviously does not know how to parent or act around a child... even a regular human being for that matter.

[QUOTE=lustforlove;190611] . . . i was really ashamed . . . . i had the worst reputation . . . [/QUOTE]

It breaks my heart to realize that another sexually active girl is being judged so harshly by her peers as well as adults who should know better.

The double standard of acceptable sexual behavior - one for boys, and a different one for girls - hasn't changed that much over the last century, despite all the chatter about the sexually empowered modern girl.

Just imagine a society where horny girls need something that good boys are not supposed to give them! So long as we as a society continue to believe that horny boys need something that good girls are not supposed to give them, the painfully f**d-up attitudes you are dealing with will continue to hurt girls like yourself.

The double standard is unfair. It is cruel. Yes, it is "reality," but it is only a reality that people have created together, and people can destroy together. You have the individual power to accept yourself and your sexual behavior as positive and good, no matter what other people may think, say, and do. You cannot change society's attitudes and condemnation of your sexual behavior, but you can stand up to them simply by being proud of who you are and what you do.

You have done nothing, absolutely nothing, to feel ashamed of. Believe it.

I envision a better future where horny boys and horny girls can both pursue sexual pleasure responsibly and without guilt or condemnation by society.

Hopefully, sites like this one will help bring that world into being!

Lust for love---

Learn from their behavior as what you DO NOT want to be & honestly it will cause you to be a understanding woman as you age through life!
:)