Well, i have this idea. Why don't you try something with a little romance. You know, a romantic dinner in bed, with candel lights, sweet wine, some exotic foods and kandy, like chocolate and honey and stuff. Use your imagination, and make her get interested in something that can be fun and exciting.
And one important thing i guess is that she needs to trust you so that she will be willing to do anything knowing that you only want to do something nice for her and not going to hurt her or any thing. So have fun.
tj im 16 so dinner in bed wont work i just want her to lighten up a little i love her to death but its just shes not willin to do ne thing i dont want sex i just wanna have fun
you have to be gentle, never overbearing. you'll have to earn her trust, and that may take a long time, but it will be worth it if you are really serious about her
Patience is very important. Don't rush her into anything. It'll just make it worse and more uncomfortable for her. Perhaps a romantic dinner with candles. Afterwards tell her how you tell about it, or reitterate on it. GL.
Well, as some one posted before, you can not change his shyness, and that is one of the first lessons you have to learn about relationships, you can not change a person at all, so either you learn to live with it or get a new gf that is more like you. Talk to her, and tell her what you feel, maybe there is a reason for his behavior, let her know that you care. That way she may open up a little more to you.
I'm probably stating the obvious, but I think the biggest thing is to make her feel comfortable, not like you are just in your relationship for sex. Otherwise, you may never get her to open up!
I'll tell you... my last b/f was totally in it for the sex, and I'm pretty shy... it was totally obvious that that's what he wanted, and a total turn-off. So just make her comfortable and reinforce the fact that you really care about her, and that sex isn't the ONLY thing on your mind!
I agree with AJM. Take it slow! that could mean a week or a month or more. You have to earn her trust. Respect her in & out of the bedroom. I had an experience when I felt shy with a guy I really liked, because I didn't want to mess things up by taking it too fast. You and your girlfriend are young, and she may not be comfortable with her own body, yet. She needs that before she is comfortable touching yours.
Find out why she is shy. Ask about her upbringing. I used to be kind of shy because I don't have a lot of experience and also because one ex bf told me once that he thought a woman's private parts were ugly. After that I didn't let any guy touch me or look at me down there because I was scared he felt the same way as my ex.
well, first, if she is still shy around you, then she is not ready to do anything. Second, if you think that she is ready then talk to her, and see if she is ready or not, don't push it, don't make her be ready, let her chose.
I can't really help you much on this subject, cause I' having some problems of my own, cause I'm kinda shy 2! f u wanna help me out then I posted my story on the 'New to sex' board!
Anyway, You can't change a girls personality, if she's shy she's shy, you need to think about this on your own before you talk 2 her about it, think 2 urself what would be your perfect partner, and see if she matches it, if she does'nt your prob not right for each other, and you need to go and look for your 'perfect partner' elsewhere, and she needs to find someone who she feels comfortable with, however, if you really do 'love her to bits' then you would wait, I guess it's hard cause ur a guy and everything, and guys and gals want different things, but just be sensitive 2 her feelings, and compliment her when u see her, also make sure she knows you want her, for example, everytime you see her change a little kiss on the cheek to a gentle snog! These things do help alot, and may make her feel more comfortable!
But remember: Be easy on her! It's not easy being shy!
I agree with everyone else, patience is the key. Is she shy for PDA's as well? Maybe you could slowly walk her into being more open. Try gentle kisses on the neck or cheek, hold her hand when you walk, give her a massage every now and then. Simple things. And good luck.
what do you mean by her being shy? do you mean that she withdraws into herself when she see's you? does she sit in a corner at parties and do nothing say nothing? or is it just that she wont sexually go anywhere yet?
i think i had a similar problem with my girlfriend, when we first started going out, we would get along great as friends, but she didnt like to give anything sexually, i fingered her every now and again, and it didnt much seem like she enjoyed the action of it as much as she enjoyedf the fact hat i was doing something to her.For a long time, that was the closest thing to sexual enjoyemnt i got, hearing her stiffled moans of pleasure. At the same time as my girlffirend not wanting anything to do me with me in a sexual way, i had a good friend, who made it very clear that she wanted to screw my brains out, and far too often my will came close to breaking and accepting the sexual offers that were being made, im glad i didnt now, but at the timed it was making me very depressed, both the fact that i was considering cheating and the fact that my g/f didnt wanna know. but i couldnt just end the relationship cause i wasnt getting any, despite what advice i got from some friends, i knew even early on that htis girl was something special, something to hold tight onto, and that, so long as i made her as happy as possible, at teh end of the day my happiness could wait. she overcame her shyness, and now we are very strong as a couple, and enjoy great sex, and lots of it. the only problem now is the way she looks down on me for nearly cheating, and getting some action, while i look at it and think how amazing it was that my will power did suffic,e especially as i had had a very sex orientated relationship right be fore it.
the moral of the story is perserverience, keep with her, dont rush her into anything that she doesnt want to do, not just sexually, but in everything, especially if you care for her as much as u say. build her confidenc,e compliment her at every oppurtunity, and make syre she realises how important she is to u, tho if ur the same as me, you will never be able to show how important they are, they just never seem to get teh full extent of it.
good luck, and keep posting, it will be a ninteresting story to follow!
having been with shy girls, and being kind of shy myself, i can say that telling your girlfriend how sexy and wonderful she is really helps. ask her why she's shy. take it slowly and ensure both of you savour the moment. make her feel sexy, caress and kiss her whole body, enjoy her body and soon she will begin to see that you do. dont make it seem like your just after one thing. take your time and communicate!
if you do get her to do something with you for the first time try to keep it short because she might start to doubt what shes leting you do after a awhile. tell her that if she wants you to stop all she has to do is say so... also as some of the other members have said you cant change who she is, if she is shy you may be able to get her to do stuff eventualy but that dosnt mean she will ever talk about it openly or be ok with talking about it openly and thats an important thing to do.
compliments, compliments, compliments. My current girlfriend was extremely shy. Trying to talk to her was like ramming my head into a brick wall for the first couple of days after we met. I noticed the main reason she was so shy is the same thing many people have already stated, she is probably not comfortable with herself. You need to make her feel like you are comfortable with her and she will slowly become more comfortable with you. Dont be afraid to open up to her and tell her things you wouldnt normally tell other people like your friends. As she sees you opening up she will to. Compliments help alot with shyness even if a girl says she hates them its a load of crap. See when you compliment a girl it makes them feel more comfortable about themself and in turn allows them to be more comfortable with you. But like everyone else has said it takes time, sometimes alot of it. So if you truly care about this girl take it slow and talk to her alot. Even if she is too shy to talk about certain things you can atleast tell her how you feel about them to sort of show her that its ok to talk about those things such as sex. But without good communication sex is worthless. So build your communication before you even think about sex. Because if you dont your in for a horrible relationship.
Well, i have this idea. Why don't you try something with a little romance. You know, a romantic dinner in bed, with candel lights, sweet wine, some exotic foods and kandy, like chocolate and honey and stuff. Use your imagination, and make her get interested in something that can be fun and exciting.
And one important thing i guess is that she needs to trust you so that she will be willing to do anything knowing that you only want to do something nice for her and not going to hurt her or any thing. So have fun.
tj im 16 so dinner in bed wont work i just want her to lighten up a little i love her to death but its just shes not willin to do ne thing i dont want sex i just wanna have fun
you have to be gentle, never overbearing. you'll have to earn her trust, and that may take a long time, but it will be worth it if you are really serious about her
Patience is very important. Don't rush her into anything. It'll just make it worse and more uncomfortable for her. Perhaps a romantic dinner with candles. Afterwards tell her how you tell about it, or reitterate on it. GL.
Try getting her relaxed, if she's a bit shy. Yuo're not going to change that shyness alot if it's her personanlity.
Well, as some one posted before, you can not change his shyness, and that is one of the first lessons you have to learn about relationships, you can not change a person at all, so either you learn to live with it or get a new gf that is more like you. Talk to her, and tell her what you feel, maybe there is a reason for his behavior, let her know that you care. That way she may open up a little more to you.
I'm probably stating the obvious, but I think the biggest thing is to make her feel comfortable, not like you are just in your relationship for sex. Otherwise, you may never get her to open up!
I'll tell you... my last b/f was totally in it for the sex, and I'm pretty shy... it was totally obvious that that's what he wanted, and a total turn-off. So just make her comfortable and reinforce the fact that you really care about her, and that sex isn't the ONLY thing on your mind!
Hope I was some kind of help! :-)
I agree with AJM. Take it slow! that could mean a week or a month or more. You have to earn her trust. Respect her in & out of the bedroom. I had an experience when I felt shy with a guy I really liked, because I didn't want to mess things up by taking it too fast. You and your girlfriend are young, and she may not be comfortable with her own body, yet. She needs that before she is comfortable touching yours.
Find out why she is shy. Ask about her upbringing. I used to be kind of shy because I don't have a lot of experience and also because one ex bf told me once that he thought a woman's private parts were ugly. After that I didn't let any guy touch me or look at me down there because I was scared he felt the same way as my ex.
well, first, if she is still shy around you, then she is not ready to do anything. Second, if you think that she is ready then talk to her, and see if she is ready or not, don't push it, don't make her be ready, let her chose.
I can't really help you much on this subject, cause I' having some problems of my own, cause I'm kinda shy 2! f u wanna help me out then I posted my story on the 'New to sex' board!
Anyway, You can't change a girls personality, if she's shy she's shy, you need to think about this on your own before you talk 2 her about it, think 2 urself what would be your perfect partner, and see if she matches it, if she does'nt your prob not right for each other, and you need to go and look for your 'perfect partner' elsewhere, and she needs to find someone who she feels comfortable with, however, if you really do 'love her to bits' then you would wait, I guess it's hard cause ur a guy and everything, and guys and gals want different things, but just be sensitive 2 her feelings, and compliment her when u see her, also make sure she knows you want her, for example, everytime you see her change a little kiss on the cheek to a gentle snog! These things do help alot, and may make her feel more comfortable!
But remember: Be easy on her! It's not easy being shy!
Laura xxxx
I agree with everyone else, patience is the key. Is she shy for PDA's as well? Maybe you could slowly walk her into being more open. Try gentle kisses on the neck or cheek, hold her hand when you walk, give her a massage every now and then. Simple things. And good luck.
what do you mean by her being shy? do you mean that she withdraws into herself when she see's you? does she sit in a corner at parties and do nothing say nothing? or is it just that she wont sexually go anywhere yet?
i think i had a similar problem with my girlfriend, when we first started going out, we would get along great as friends, but she didnt like to give anything sexually, i fingered her every now and again, and it didnt much seem like she enjoyed the action of it as much as she enjoyedf the fact hat i was doing something to her.For a long time, that was the closest thing to sexual enjoyemnt i got, hearing her stiffled moans of pleasure. At the same time as my girlffirend not wanting anything to do me with me in a sexual way, i had a good friend, who made it very clear that she wanted to screw my brains out, and far too often my will came close to breaking and accepting the sexual offers that were being made, im glad i didnt now, but at the timed it was making me very depressed, both the fact that i was considering cheating and the fact that my g/f didnt wanna know. but i couldnt just end the relationship cause i wasnt getting any, despite what advice i got from some friends, i knew even early on that htis girl was something special, something to hold tight onto, and that, so long as i made her as happy as possible, at teh end of the day my happiness could wait. she overcame her shyness, and now we are very strong as a couple, and enjoy great sex, and lots of it. the only problem now is the way she looks down on me for nearly cheating, and getting some action, while i look at it and think how amazing it was that my will power did suffic,e especially as i had had a very sex orientated relationship right be fore it.
the moral of the story is perserverience, keep with her, dont rush her into anything that she doesnt want to do, not just sexually, but in everything, especially if you care for her as much as u say. build her confidenc,e compliment her at every oppurtunity, and make syre she realises how important she is to u, tho if ur the same as me, you will never be able to show how important they are, they just never seem to get teh full extent of it.
good luck, and keep posting, it will be a ninteresting story to follow!
having been with shy girls, and being kind of shy myself, i can say that telling your girlfriend how sexy and wonderful she is really helps. ask her why she's shy. take it slowly and ensure both of you savour the moment. make her feel sexy, caress and kiss her whole body, enjoy her body and soon she will begin to see that you do. dont make it seem like your just after one thing. take your time and communicate!
She will warm up to you. Try doing the first move and ask her if that is ok. If you guys just went out then give it some time. Be patient with her.
if you do get her to do something with you for the first time try to keep it short because she might start to doubt what shes leting you do after a awhile. tell her that if she wants you to stop all she has to do is say so... also as some of the other members have said you cant change who she is, if she is shy you may be able to get her to do stuff eventualy but that dosnt mean she will ever talk about it openly or be ok with talking about it openly and thats an important thing to do.
compliments, compliments, compliments. My current girlfriend was extremely shy. Trying to talk to her was like ramming my head into a brick wall for the first couple of days after we met. I noticed the main reason she was so shy is the same thing many people have already stated, she is probably not comfortable with herself. You need to make her feel like you are comfortable with her and she will slowly become more comfortable with you. Dont be afraid to open up to her and tell her things you wouldnt normally tell other people like your friends. As she sees you opening up she will to. Compliments help alot with shyness even if a girl says she hates them its a load of crap. See when you compliment a girl it makes them feel more comfortable about themself and in turn allows them to be more comfortable with you. But like everyone else has said it takes time, sometimes alot of it. So if you truly care about this girl take it slow and talk to her alot. Even if she is too shy to talk about certain things you can atleast tell her how you feel about them to sort of show her that its ok to talk about those things such as sex. But without good communication sex is worthless. So build your communication before you even think about sex. Because if you dont your in for a horrible relationship.