In interviews of women a few years ago asking "How long did your last sex act last from penetration to ejaculation of your partner?" the responses ran from three to thirteen minutes. You are right in there. Second consideration that about half of all women require stimulation in addition to penetration and thrusting to reach orgasm - that would be oral or digital stimulation. Your situation is not unusual.

There is an entire movement called "woman first" that holds that the woman should be brought off before penetration. Consider that women are able to enjoy sex even without orgasm.

I, for one, prefer to reach orgasm through other stimulation and am most receptive immediately following orgasm. And, twenty minutes of pounding away is my absolute limit.

[QUOTE=hdchris;252553][COLOR="blue">Hello makes a while i didnt post and i wanted to say thank you to both your replies they were really useful[/COLOR]

Howdy, Chris. As for me, you're welcome. I went back to your first posts last Fall to familiarize myself with your circumstances.

[COLOR="blue">but now i have another problem i would need help with. My problem is I am really not sure if i am lasting long enough in the begining with her ( as with all my sexual relationships ) i could last for hours but after a few months i sudenly goes down to lastin 3-10 minutes or so and it really bothers me[/COLOR]

Brandye said it, and, there are several how-to articles on making out listed in the Index. I recommend that you read every article in the Index at least once in order to add to your existing sex ed. knowledge, and to give you a more accurate overview of to do or not do, and why.

Many women report that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes they become bored, sore, and [COLOR="Yellow">tired[/COLOR]. If it is your wish to prolong intercourse and love making, it is better to take periodic breaks and return to making out during your recuperation or refractory phase, then go back to more intercourse. Doing so, adds variety (read: spice), reduces boredom, gives you something to do while waiting to enjoy your next climax, and, reduces the chance that she will become sore whether from all the action, and/or, maintaining her body in a certain position for extended periods of time.

I also belong to the school of thought that says it is better to help a woman enjoy her orgasm, first; and if it is her desire--last.

[COLOR="blue">she says she doesnt care since i always perform oral on her and get her to climax but i would love to get her to climax with penetration as well i want her to have a good time. [/COLOR]

Again, Brandye said it, so too is it written in at least one article; and, in many responses to questions in the Forums: Of all the sexual positions we can get ourselves into, very few place a woman's pieces-parts in close constant contact with a man's pubic mound sufficient to generate the friction required. That said, what a knowledgeable, skillful, caring, lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner while at the same time stroking away.

As for having a good time and enjoying herself, determining this is mostly a matter of communication and reading her body language. I've said time and again that making love is not what we do to each other, it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Experiment and learn together. Learn verbal and non-verbal communication skills and to give each other feedback on how each of you is responding to the other's caresses and for what you need now/next. (Discussed in at least one article.)

If you satisfy her emotional needs, and are not a clumsy inept oaf when it comes to the physical activities, and she knows you have her best interest at heart, a woman will generally have a good time. If not, it is up to her to say so and what needs to change. Understand that for men orgasms are a requirement; not so for women. It is great when they happen, yet orgasms are not a biological imperative that they are for males of the species.

[COLOR="blue">[Ive managed once to get her to climax with penetration but we were both high on pcp and except for that ive only gotten her close and i was wondering should i convince her to help me last longer with techniques you have posted on this site or should i just accept that she is satisfied with the oral. And by the way a friend of mine told me that doing multiplications in my head could help me last longer and it does work when i do it i can last up to 15-20 mins but sex really isnt as fun so :P.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Oh, there are all sorts of tricks to help a guy stave off a climax; however, the two methods described in the article on this topic listed in the Index, are the best. Why? First, the Squeeze method can be used immediately in the here and now!; second, perfecting the technique described in the exercise is both fun to learn, and you do not have to divert your attention away from the pleasures experienced in the moment.

Reading the articles and discussing with each other what the two of you have learned, and, placing the information into practice will make both of you better lovers. Also, please read the article on "experience", whether one or the other of you has more experience or not. What is important is that the two of you understand the importance of teamwork.

Final comment on "lasting" is this: Please give some thought to the fact that enjoying multiple orgasms over time is more enjoyably than holding off for twenty or more minutes in order to have just one. As noted, above, taking a break from all that stroking and thrusting and maintaining a physical position can be tiring, so why not exit and return to fooling around and making out in between any two of hers and/or your orgasms?

I hope this is of help. After the two of you complete your reading assignment, please do not hesitate to ask questions. We're here to help.

-doc

I certainly agree that many repeat performances over time each with its attendant orgasm is preferable to one session with him penetrating away for what seems like hours.

However, one session where penetration is interspersed with body worship, oral, manual, and various penetration (please see that article entitled The Four Hotspots) is the BEST! Mix it up - repeatedly if you're going for 'longevity'.

Bring ALL of your skills out guy - it isn't just about the penis.