Firstly, it's not about being selfish. It's about communication. You have to tell her your wants and desires. Make sure you are sensitive about the situation, but be relaxed and express what you like, and what makes you feel good.

Sometimes women get too wet...I understand this. Especially if you are using a condom and the women is very wet, it can be...how shall we say, a bit too easy going. There really isn't much you can do about this except try different positions. Different positions will render new sensations and will change up how "tight" she feels. Experienced women can use their PC muscles to clench around your penis if things get too slippery...

There is nothing wrong with you taking time to please her and not yourself. The trick is to get into what you're doing for her, and please yourself at the same time. Knowing that you're pleasing her should turn you on greatly, so enjoy everything and have fun!

And about the blowjobs issue--this is totally normal. Sometimes I can't cum either unless the girl jerks me off while she sucks. If I'm super hot and ready, I can, but usually there has to be hand stimulation as well as mouth stimulation...this is totally normal. And honestly, a lot of woman (especially younger ones) don't know how to give head properly, or are very insecure about it...if you know your lover well...express what you like, and give her moaning-hints when you like what she's doing.

Romance and "making love" is and should be a team effort. It should not be about what I do to her or what she does to me. Being in love and making love as is the entirety of the relationship about being a partnership. It is what we do with and for each other.

M1chael has good insight into the topics he has chosen to reply to. In the matter above, he echos what I have said time and again, that while possible to get off purely from oral stimulation it is not always going to happen and particularly so the older we get. Why? Because each of us, male and female, has developed a method of stimulating ourselves that we come to rely upon to build and then trigger an orgasm. If we are off the mark a bit then it will either not happen or not quite like we had expected. So, oral stimulation will excite us tremendously and build sexual tension and ardor and drive us wild with passion and anticipation yet it often won't be what is required to trigger an orgasm. For this to happen, stroking must accompany what the lips and tongue are doing and this makes for one whale of a dynamic duo!

For manual stimulation to work well, each of us must teach our partner how we do it ourselves by guiding his/her hand/fingers several times until learning how to mimic their movements, rhythms, and pressures.

For us guys, the absolute most sensitive part of the penis is the Frenulum. It becomes very reactive the closer we are to triggering an orgasm and letting a finger swipe it at this point is guaranteed to trigger an orgasm. One or more additional hotspots can usually be found distributed around the Corona Rim. A woman should know where these are and how to use them in addition to learning how to stroke a penis based upon his unique and individual needs.