Well, Its me again. Been a little while since i've beeon on here, and I have a question about something.
Se, since I've become single again, my sex life has become non-existant, not that there was much in the first place. My time out on the town has been a complete failure, and since i haven't had sex in so long, i've been browing craigslist in the hopes of something. I was wondering, do anyone here thinks it ok to post something on craigslist before I do so? any concerns or advice when dealing with it are welcome.
STOP!!
Posting on Craigslist is branding yourself as a loser. Not good.
Instead, find your local Lifestyle/swing group and get to know some people.
1. Check the personal ads in your local newspaper(s).
2. Check the personal ads in your local/nearby city underground newspaper.
3. If your local or nearby city has a dating service, investigate this/these.
A. Inform family, friends, and co-workers that you are interested in dating an ask if they know of someone. This is called "networking". The more people you have working on your behalf, the better your chances of finding people to date.
B. Join clubs, social or professional, organizations or a service organization in which women are likely to participate, also.
C. Do volunteer work thru your church or hospital, or some community entity.
problem is, I have tried most of the above that Doc suggested, except the dating service, because it cost more money then what I have, (I can barely afford rent). not to mention all the other women i know, and most of their friends are taken. Reason I asked is cause I am running out of options, and I am shy as hell, so takiing to some stranger is rather difficult as I have no idea how to open a conversation.
Stop being shy as hell - no woman wants a shy man. She interprets it as 'not being terribly interested' or 'wimpy'.
Go to a Lifestyle/Swing group. They are used to dealing with uncertain people who have no idea how to proceed. Seriously.
Dude,
Plenty of Fish. Lots and lots of women and it's free.
EEK, is there a directory of lifestyle / swing groups somewhere? You often speak of these places, but honestly, I have no idea of where to find such a place. None!
Thanks!
Websites, WSO, websites - you google it.
Been a while since my last post, but sadly it was because of lack of internet. Now that I have it, i can post again.
For the websites, i am unable to afford them, and as free members I can't do jack and contact others, except with craigslist.
But, I have taken the advice and gotten out more, and even though I have tried, and been rejected each time, I slowly feel the nerves fading away, though it is still a challenge. Does a nyone have advice for an ice breaker of sorts, to help make things easier?
Dating is like that, sometimes you win, sometimes not. The purpose of dating is to date--and to date lots of people in order to learn what humanity has to offer, to learn what characteristics you want in others, and to better recognize when Ms/Mr. Right comes along.
As for casually talking to people in order to strike up a conversation and perhaps ask for a date, I'd recommend being genuine and being yourself. Do not be cute, stupid, or, try some come-on remark that will likely turn the woman off.
It is better to try and get to know her socially, first, and not to ask a complete stranger out on a date. Let her get to know you over several occasions, then with a bit of familiarity acquired, ask her out. You stand a much better chance if you let her learn a bit about you in a casual setting, and you her, before asking for a date.
Get friends involved, either to be a part of the social setting, and/or to help you find someone who is interested in dating.
The most effective 'line' of all time is "Hello. I'm (insert your name here)."
But you don't just toss that up into the blue. No. You go to whereever, scan the available persons, then you make and hold eye contact with the few you like for 20 seconds. You then, within 30 minutes of eye contact, wander up (do not rush up to her) to her and introduce yourself. Smile. You have some conversation for about 20 minutes and you get her phone numbers,email whatever then you say "It has been nice meeting you, (insert her name here)." And you go away. Call her later and ask her out to a specific event at a specific date and time. Make it something like coffee. Something non-threatening, in public, and during the daytime.
Got all of that?
Got it. I will try both of what you two gave me. I have a friend, and he and his girlfriend are willing to go with me and be my social circle. It also help we all hang out at the same bars.
One reason I was asking is cause I hear all about fancy pick up lines, and even though my experience is nill, I can tell its full of crap. So i wanted some genuine advice that is actually helpful and not going to get me slapped. Thanks and I will report here next time I go out, tht way you can all tell em what I did right or wrong.