I've tried everything and im really not trying to just get in bed with her but at the same time i am,, i guess u can say its deeper then just sex,, i feel its time and i sense her hesitance and it seems like nothing i try seems to work,,, am i not coming of confident??
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
> i have this girl that is a little shy to get in bed cause she's a virgin so any suggested
How long have you been dating? How old are the two of you?
Being a virgin has little or no bearing on being ready for bed. She will be ready when she is ready. This hinges on her sense of self, self confidence, trust in you, comfort level with you and the relationship, her moral and religious teachings and whether she wants to now, soon, not until much later, being in a committed relationship, or on the honeymoon. This is something she has to mature into. Here is some reading for you:
You can have and exude confidence yet if she is not ready to take that step, do not force the issue. It seems to me that the two of you need to talk about what each of you wants and then how to arrive at this or a negotiated destination such as limiting your fun and games to just foreplay.
Please read the comments in Chapter Three of this article dealing with "Implied Consent". Just scroll down to the chapter.
When you say you want to go to bed with this person, what do you want to do once there? How far have the two of you gone up to now? These are very important questions because there may be more knowledge you should accumulate than you think before arriving at the destination, whatever that may be. Please follow through on Sera's recommendation. Read each of the articles in the Index--both of you.
Please answer my questions, and we will attempt to give you more recommendations, methods, and help.
Under Sexual Health: Women, read Äm I Ready."Then have her read it. Then live with her decision. It is her body that becomes pregnant, not yours. Women, being the bearers of babies, have a real responsibility - to themselves, to their partners and to the potential baby. Pushy young men are a problem.
I am assuming teens and there are plenty of teen girls who go for a roll at the slightest hint. Maybe you should be dating one of them.
[QUOTE=slightlystupid;207845]we've been dating about 2 months but have none each other for a while,, im 17 shes 16,,,i've fingered her and thats it, never got anything back[/QUOTE]
Well that says it all right there.
"never got anything back"??????
2 months is still fairly soon especially if she's still a virgin. You guys have to be comfortable w/ each other. Work your way up the chain from manual/oral/intercourse...etc.
Patience is the key... if you aren't interested in that... then do her a favor!
I have to say that I agree with the other posters. She is still pretty young and she just isn't ready. 2 months is a very short period of time to build the sort of trust and intimacy that is required to want to go to the next level - especially for someone who is a virgin. If she isn't reciprocating sexually, then you really need to take a few steps back and realize that, as Demon said, you need to work your way up to sex. She most likely is just discovering herself sexually and she may not have even had an orgasm yet. And I can honestly say to you, that if a girl hasn't even had an orgasm, she is definitely going to have a lot less interest in sex than you do.
i agree that we are a little young and it is soon and she is still a virgin,, the thing is she is a tease,, gets me going thinking its about to happen and then takes it away extreemly quick and sometimes i do work my way into it like fingering her but then she is satisfied and doesnt need me any more so the intimicy is over
[QUOTE=slightlystupid;209259]i agree that we are a little young and it is soon and she is still a virgin,, the thing is she is a tease,, gets me going thinking its about to happen and then takes it away extreemly quick and sometimes i do work my way into it like fingering her but then she is satisfied and doesnt need me any more so the intimicy is over[/QUOTE]
Now don't blame it in her, if she really wanted it, it would have happened...
Learn to wait..
If she teases because she doesnt know what she is doing (i.e. works up the confidence and then loses it before you are done) then try to work with her on it...
And everone is right, you must build up to it, through manual oral and other things sfirst.
She may or may not be a tease. It takes us, as young women, a while to learn the power we wield on the sexual front. If she were experienced, she would be teasing you or playing for something. At sixteen and with no experience, she may or may not know what she is doing.
Being reading here & then redirect your questions after you have read:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/index_sexinfo101_board_topics/22777---be...
:)
I've tried everything and im really not trying to just get in bed with her but at the same time i am,, i guess u can say its deeper then just sex,, i feel its time and i sense her hesitance and it seems like nothing i try seems to work,,, am i not coming of confident??
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
> i have this girl that is a little shy to get in bed cause she's a virgin so any suggested
How long have you been dating? How old are the two of you?
Being a virgin has little or no bearing on being ready for bed. She will be ready when she is ready. This hinges on her sense of self, self confidence, trust in you, comfort level with you and the relationship, her moral and religious teachings and whether she wants to now, soon, not until much later, being in a committed relationship, or on the honeymoon. This is something she has to mature into. Here is some reading for you:
Am I Ready For Sex?
> am i not coming of confident?
You can have and exude confidence yet if she is not ready to take that step, do not force the issue. It seems to me that the two of you need to talk about what each of you wants and then how to arrive at this or a negotiated destination such as limiting your fun and games to just foreplay.
Please read the comments in Chapter Three of this article dealing with "Implied Consent". Just scroll down to the chapter.
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS/ and the gentle art of Making Out, FIRST
When you say you want to go to bed with this person, what do you want to do once there? How far have the two of you gone up to now? These are very important questions because there may be more knowledge you should accumulate than you think before arriving at the destination, whatever that may be. Please follow through on Sera's recommendation. Read each of the articles in the Index--both of you.
Please answer my questions, and we will attempt to give you more recommendations, methods, and help.
-doc
slightlystupid, just stop PUSHING her to have sex - stay friends because she is NOT ready even if you think you are.
Under Sexual Health: Women, read Äm I Ready."Then have her read it. Then live with her decision. It is her body that becomes pregnant, not yours. Women, being the bearers of babies, have a real responsibility - to themselves, to their partners and to the potential baby. Pushy young men are a problem.
I am assuming teens and there are plenty of teen girls who go for a roll at the slightest hint. Maybe you should be dating one of them.
we've been dating about 2 months but have none each other for a while,, im 17 shes 16,,,i've fingered her and thats it, never got anything back
[QUOTE=slightlystupid;207845]we've been dating about 2 months but have none each other for a while,, im 17 shes 16,,,i've fingered her and thats it, never got anything back[/QUOTE]
Well that says it all right there.
"never got anything back"??????
2 months is still fairly soon especially if she's still a virgin. You guys have to be comfortable w/ each other. Work your way up the chain from manual/oral/intercourse...etc.
Patience is the key... if you aren't interested in that... then do her a favor!
I have to say that I agree with the other posters. She is still pretty young and she just isn't ready. 2 months is a very short period of time to build the sort of trust and intimacy that is required to want to go to the next level - especially for someone who is a virgin. If she isn't reciprocating sexually, then you really need to take a few steps back and realize that, as Demon said, you need to work your way up to sex. She most likely is just discovering herself sexually and she may not have even had an orgasm yet. And I can honestly say to you, that if a girl hasn't even had an orgasm, she is definitely going to have a lot less interest in sex than you do.
i agree that we are a little young and it is soon and she is still a virgin,, the thing is she is a tease,, gets me going thinking its about to happen and then takes it away extreemly quick and sometimes i do work my way into it like fingering her but then she is satisfied and doesnt need me any more so the intimicy is over
Well then, if that's the case, find someone who WILL have sex with you and stop complaining...
[QUOTE=slightlystupid;209259]i agree that we are a little young and it is soon and she is still a virgin,, the thing is she is a tease,, gets me going thinking its about to happen and then takes it away extreemly quick and sometimes i do work my way into it like fingering her but then she is satisfied and doesnt need me any more so the intimicy is over[/QUOTE]
Now don't blame it in her, if she really wanted it, it would have happened...
Learn to wait..
If she is a pillow princess...then leave
If she teases because she doesnt know what she is doing (i.e. works up the confidence and then loses it before you are done) then try to work with her on it...
And everone is right, you must build up to it, through manual oral and other things sfirst.
She may or may not be a tease. It takes us, as young women, a while to learn the power we wield on the sexual front. If she were experienced, she would be teasing you or playing for something. At sixteen and with no experience, she may or may not know what she is doing.