Hi,
I've been getting to know this girl... We're both in high school and are virgins. We haven't done anything sexual, just making out and the like. Last time, though, we were rubbing up against each other and she started to black out. I know she's less experienced than me. She begins to get nervous even when we just cuddle and stuff. The thing is, though, that she's willing to do it anyway. I think she wants to be ready and is ready to move to the next step, but she still gets nervous. Also, I think she may be anemic, and the excitement/heavy breathing might cause her to get dizzy. Does anyone have any experience with this? What would be a good way to make her feel comfortable and calm? Obviously, baby steps into everything, emotional reassurance... but what specifics?
Thanks
I'm hanging out with her tonight.
It's called hyperventilating...not anemia. Back off it's too much for her, she probably is having a panic attack. After she blacks out out she comes right back right? When she is getting nervous and her breathing is getting too rapid, slow her down and have her breath (nose & mouth) into a brown bag--she is taking in too much O2 & blowing off too much CO2. She needs to go to see a doctor and talk to the doctor about what's happening. Don't kiss and all that stuff until she goes, be content holding hands.
Hyperventilation is the number one issue followed by blood pressure and being sufficiently hydrated. The blood rushing to the genitals in the male is obvious with an erection; it is less obvious, but hust as real, in a woman. The entire lower pelvis becomes engorged and this takes blood. A major reason for low blood pressure in youth is lack of hydration - drink enough.
Yeah, Brandye, I think you're probably right.
To the other poster - I know hyperventalating isn't anemia. What I'm saying is that her hyperventalating is a reflection of her being nervous, and that is a reflection on her heart pumping faster. If her heart can't get oxygen through the body quick enough then she'll black out.
Note, she didn't actually black out, but she said she got really dizzy.
I've suggested she go see a doctor, but she doesn't want to. I can't make her. I spoke to a friend of mine who is a doctor, though, and he said a lot of girls who have eating disorders (i.e. anorexia or bolemia,) are unwilling to go see a doctor in fear of being exposed. What if this is the case? How do I talk about something like this?
What I was telling you it probably has nothing to do w/anemia (the lack of red blood cells and hemoglobin). Anemia is common in women, but she would be symptomatic at other times. Meaning she would get short of breath while exercising, walking up stairs, etc. Her color may be pale or pasty. Low blood pressure is generally picked up with vertigo associated with postural changes and associated with nausea and sweats. Meaning if you are flat and try to sit up quick or stand it drops and can cause syncope. Dehydration is one reason for low blood pressure since you are volume depleted. There are others as well but it gets into too much for here.
When someone gets nervous, they breath rapidly, and too often; more then their body requires. This result is vertigo or "dizziness". As they are pulling in too much O2 they are also letting too much CO2 escape their lungs. We have small receptors which sense our over-oxygenation or under-oxygenation. The body's response (nothing to do on this one with the heart) is to self correct, it does this by making someone pass out. This way the breathing pattern turns back to normal.
Now you said she blacked out...if she is just experiencing dizziness (vertigo) she needs to relax and slow her breathing down. The way to help if she cannot slow herself down is to use the bag.
As far as her seeking medical attention; just encourage her. You cannot make her. If you are close to her family and she keeps getting dizzy just mention it to her mom...that you noticed she gets dizzy, not why or when.
As far as an eating disorder? Are you with her that much to be able to tell? Did your doctor friend tell you what to look for?
See, if she is experiencing vertigo, not passing out, there can be many causes for that. What caught my attention to drawing an assumption to hyperventilation is; it's not happening at other times with you, just when she becomes nervous, excited, and her respiratory rate picks up. The symptom is vertigo as a result. And not syncope as you previously stated; which does not have to be present for a conclusion for hyperventilation. In some people it's secondary to a panic attack and in other's it's over-stimulation which is temporary.
If she will not go to the doctor, just keep it slow with her and watch how fast she is breathing. If she looks like she is heading in the wrong direction slow her down...
I am trying to give you info. to help, this is not a substitute for medical care so encourage her to go, let her know you care about her and be supportive of her. There are many women with eating disorders, but this may just be something pretty simple...especially since it's transient.
Great, thanks a lot, Sera. Very helpful.