Yes it's me again witht he same girlfiriend (by the way thanks for advice, it was alot better then the advice my firends gave) any way, I was on a date with my girfriend (her name is yalda just to be clear) and she told me how her parent's had seperated. This was some month or so ago. And i have been noticing that since then she has not been herself. Seh seems down and i feel like me wanting to be with her is just making it worse. I keep telling her i am here to talk if she wants, even though she keeps telling me that she is not bugged about her parent's. What should i do? Should i just back off and give her space or try to talk to her? Once again i welcome all advice and thank those who submit.
Tue, 07/15/2003 - 21:22
#1
she's feeling down
well your g/f may be one of the few but if she says that her parents separating doesn't bother her... shes not being truthful w/ you. i mean think about it?
my parents divorced when i was 12 and even tho it wasn't a messy divorce i was sad about it. i mean it splits up your house and you dont get to spend as much time w/ both parents. she may just be trying to put up a strong front but deep down im sure its bothering her.
just keep doing what you are doing. be there for here and let her know that if she ever wants to talk about that or anything else that you'll be there for her. dont force the issue tho, when shes ready to talk, she'll initiate the conversation.
just be a friend to her thats what she needs right now
If she needs to talk to some one about this she will in her own time. She might just not be upset. Whatever you do , dont push it...you let her know you are there for her and that is the best you can do.
Live life.
Good luck.
My parents split up when I was 11-12.. I don't really remember, but it did cause me a lot of problems, based on the circumstances of the divorce. Basically, I don't know why they divorced but she could be very upset about it. Leave her be, and let her come out and talk about it.
Maybe she just don't want to "disturb" you with her problems.People who are in relationship always want to make it perfect and they think talking about personal problems cannot help making it better and that partner will be bored by it.
So just let her open herself or just start talking a little bit about your own problems so maybe she will be more comfortable with talking about hers!
I'll echo what the other have said, and then offer this!
Come up with a few CREATIVE things to do that you've not done before on your dates. The one thing she needs now is to have some mental distraction. I'm not sure where you live or what kind of places you can go for fun, but really put your thinking cap on and find some FUN things to do that will help distract her!
I agree with Rawbob sit in your room at night and pull out a sheet of paper write down what you have done and what you haven't and what she'd like. What I'd do though after like a month I'd say something like "okey it's obvious it's buggin you come on let's talk about it this is driving me nuts I can't stand you like this" and she'll either break down cry let it out or get angry at you blow off some steam apologise make up and kiss or tell you to put it off till she's ready, whatever it is you'll get an answer and she'll see that you care for her cause she's probably stuck between a bunch of choices all confused about what might happen if she screwed up or who might be there for her yeah I know I'm confusing but it should work after all I'm not called the shrink of my land for no reason
god I hope it works......