[QUOTE=youngmoe;266679][COLOR="blue">is something wrong with me. the other night i was horny but my GF pushed me away (as in she don't want to have sex) so i got annoyed because i told her i was horny from earlier on and it was ok. so why act like i unexpected tried to have sex? [/COLOR]

Yes: your attitude and sense of entitlement. I have often stated that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. This also includes "servicing" our partner when the other is not particularly in the mood. That said, does she know this is a loving act she could have done that would not have required much energy on her part? If not, then you two also have communication problems.

[COLOR="blue">so i masturbated. the next morning i was still kind of ticked but it wasn't nothing serious. i told her about it and she told me that im worrying her that i got a little upset about something like that. i was horny... i didn't get to have sex with the girl i love, but instead my hand had to do the job. even though she was right next to me.[/COLOR]

Asked and answered, above.

[COLOR="blue">now here where my question comes in. later on that day when i came home from work. she was on the phone with her GF and her GF told her was horny but had no one to satisfy her. then i heard my GF telling her that she needs to buy a toy because it works for her. then she went on to telling her she used it today to try help getting rid of a headache... honestly i felt like sh**...
she says im weird for getting upset because we didn't have sex when i was horny but yet she goes and plays with her self while am not home?[/COLOR]

What's the difference in one of you laying beside the other while masturbating and one of you being away and masturbating? (Please do not use four letter words.)

Sometimes sex is easier when done solo, even if a partner is within reach. All else being fine in the relationship, this often has to do with energy levels. Please do not make such a big deal about it unless there are other problems.

[COLOR="blue">I get the feeling that she doesn't care for my sexy anymore and would rather use her vibrator. should i be thinking like this at all? or is something wrong with me for getting frustrated about not having sex that night and had to use my hand?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Talk to each other, as noted, above, about the above issues.

Just out of curiosity, how much time do the two of you spend fooling around and making out before getting to the point of wanting a climax by whatever means?

I recommend familiarizing yourselves with the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. I suggest that the two of you read each of the articles, together or separately, then discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows.

In addition to a problem communicating, the two of you need to learn how to work together, regardless of your respective mood.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

I'd dump her. Not because she refused to have sex or because she likes to play with her toys, but because, based on what you have told us here, she's not being up front with you and not communicating with you and putting you on the back-burner. From what I gather, you are a side-issue in her life and she's doing a fine job of treating you that way. She's not showing any love here. Time to find a new girlfriend.

Here is a copy of a reply from a few days ago: [Just swap genders for this discussion.]

"Perhaps this will come to pass and be the end result; however, your recommendation is premature IMHO. Let's give the OP some tools with which to work on her relationship--and to give to her boyfriend.

If her boyfriend is typical and not really a bad guy, just acting poorly because he is doing the best with what he knows, then I believe he deserves the benefit of the doubt. If after he is offered the tools he balks, only then should the OP consider moving on as Brandye and I have suggested might be necessary if his lack of insight and concern ends the relationship."

Why is "everyone" in such a rush to drop a relationship without first trying to improve it?

This couple needs to learn coping skills, communication skills, compassion, and develop some tools that they do not yet have. This is why this venue was created--to make life easier for those coming up thru the ranks behind us. To make life easier than it was for us. To pay it forward and help others to enjoy success. If all we do when a problem is encountered is to dump one person in favor of someone else, nothing gets fixed.

If these two want to improve their relationship and their love life, and recognize that they need more information and skills, then there is indeed hope for them. So, let's pitch in and give them a fighting chance by providing some really solid information.

Certain aspects of a relationship almost demand dropping rather than attempting to improve - selfishness, abuse, disrespect top the list.

But that's not what is happening here.

These two are not talking honestly with eachother.
She says no and he pouts. Not good.
She talks to her gf and he gets jealous of her toy. Not good.
He complains she does not communicate. Not good.

Your problem, buddy, is not about SEX - it is about both of you being NOT willing to come clean and SPEAK.

[color=green]more than likely depending on the type of person she is, communication may not help as much as everyone here suggests......you most likely are not going to get the full truth out of your conversation with her......if she cares about you alot, she could be afraid to tell you what is wrong or what she wants you to do to satisfy her needs because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings/ego......i've been there before in my past

my suggestions:

#1) you shouldn't be mad at her and her relationship with her vibrator.....you masturbate and so does she....regardless if she gets assistance from her toy.....she likes it so why not.....if you had something like a Fleshlight or something of that sort, you expect her not to be mad about that
#2) don't be too predictable.....the same ole thing gets boring
#3) there is a difference between asking to initiate sex and actually initiating it.....this one is kinda hard for me to explain but when you come off like your asking her to have sex with you like a child asking for candy, then it's a turn off for her.....there's no effort put forth
#4) get kinky......everyone likes a thrill.....hey, if she likes her vibrator, then add it and use it to your advantage or buy one to use on her while pleasing her........or do what i do and ask her to show you how she uses it while you assist......then you take it from there......step your oral game up and watch body language.....you get better at what your doing and she'll prefer you over her vibrator......but understand that even though she prefers you over her vibrator, she is still going to use it without you being around.....just like you'll masturbate without her around.....so don't get hung up on self-loving
#5) besides physical contact, connect with her on an intimate level....this is one of the most important things you need to accomplish......connecting with her on a level outside of sex will assure her that you're the man that she wants to be with....and in return, she'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy......if you can't connect, then i need not say anymore....everyone here already knows where this is headed

to sum it up

stop being a pussy.......be aggressive and take control......sounds harsh, but sometimes you gotta be extreme......talk is cheap, actions show (for the most part, lol).....ppl might not like what i say but sometimes being a little animalistic isn't bad

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Women and men communicate DIFFERENTLY. Nuance and subtlety work with women and if you're using Typical Guy-Speak you may be saying more than you mean to say - women tend to 'read into' men's words; whereas, men only understand about half of what a woman's saying when she uses Woman-Speak.

1. when you talk to her do NOT sound like you're blaming or accusing her
2. ask questions she can NOT answer with a short or one word phrase
3. ask her to DESCRIBE what she's feeling, do NOT ask her to TELL what she's feeling
4. since you have noticed she 'shuts down' ask her WHY and HOW she developed that habit
5. ask her to consider how any given situation looks from your point of view and have her DESCRIBE that conception to you

BTW - depending upon her personality type 'taking control' may not be the best idea