Well first off, I'm 18, my gf is 16, and her friend is going to be 16 in a month.
Anyway, I was over at my girlfriends house tonight watchin a movie and her friend, which is my friend as well, was over there. Now the backstory here is that our friend introduced me to my gf. She also use to like me. We talked about meeting up before and maybe bein friends with benefits. She had sent me pics, I had sent her pics, etc. After I got with my gf tho 3 months ago, me and our friend had basically distanced ourselves. My gf and I have done nothing sexual yet besides me finger her a couple of times. She is wanting to do things but is uncomfortable with her body and is just nervous which I completely understand. Well tonight I fingered her and our friend was there as well. She knew what was going on. After I left anyhow my gf txts me and tells me she seriously wants to do more and try more with me. So I'm like woo! Well she also tells me her and our friend have talked about a 3some maybe. Cause they joke around all the time as if they are lesbians or bi together. I talked to them a bit about it and they sound like they want to try it. I am weary on it tho cause my gf and I both are pretty jealous people. What I don't want to happen is my gf go bi and be with our friend more than me, or like her more than me if u get what I mean. So I asked if they wanted to try things soley with me as a 3way, or them alone, and they said more with just me but maybe with them alone after me and my gf get closer and she's more experienced. So I told them we will talk about it one day and decide what to do with it..
What do u guys think about this? I don't think I should say yes let's do it but at the same time I want to try it. I don't want to try it though if it's gonna end up in a big jealousy issue or ruin any friendships or something.
Read around, there is a ton of information and comments about this subject on the site.
This has disaster written all over it. Too young & inexperienced.
So everyone is not a virgin? but just haven't had sex w/ each other?
I just think it's strange for your first time to do more sexually would be w/ another person there as well.
Were you guys fingering and making out in front of the friend?? or she just happened to be in the house somewhere and kinda figured what was going on?? I hate when people do that lol....especially in the same room as me!!!
I mean it already sounds like a big jealousy issue...and then what happens if after that... her friend spends the nite on the weekend...and all you can imagine is them having naked pillow fights and making out all nite when really they could be just in there PJs watching a scary movie... see what I mean? Your mind will go wild....
Not to mention that you are technically an "adult" doing sexual things w/ a 15 yr old... yes I know 16 in a month..but still... kinda creepy!
NOPE!!!
You guys are both very jealous. You are all really young, and you dont she is too nervous to try anything with you yet, but suddenly bam she wants a threesome? Not a good idea at all. I mean if the realtionship was fun and you werent worried about it then I would say do it. But since you guys have such a "weak" relationship" dont because 3 months is not long enough to build a strong enough relationship to survive it. (Although I dont know if any relationship could be strong enough to survive the complications)
Always careful in a threesome, You may turn out to be a little too expendable...
It's like drilling for oil, it can be a big payoff, but there's always the chance you'll come up dry...
Excuse me - you're 18; it is time for you to stop messing around being a kid. Look at all of the possible consequences then make a decision using your brain and not your emotions.
Haha yeah. I dk why I really bothered even posting this about it.. I mean. The night after or w/e we were all talking about it, my gf realized she didn't really want to as I thought. But it did kinda make her see that she's ready to have sex with me, which was a big surprise kinda. Apparently after our friend told her she wanted to have sex with me, my gf didn't like the idea of it. Thought she wanted to just do it so she could be with me. So yeah I didn't think it'd actually happen. They could tell I was backing out of it kinda that same night.
And to whoever asked, she was in the room with us when I was fingering her. Don't see exactly why it made her more comfortable, but I think it was more that we were watchin the movie at the same time and not focusin on that specifically then she just got confused with the whole 3some thing. Cause they joke around together all the time as if they were bi with each other to kinda tease, but when it comes down to it, they aren't ready for anything like that.
So now your g/f just wants to have sex w/ you to keep you... since she knows her friend would sleep w/ you too... that's what that sounds like.
And yea no matter how "discreet" you think you are being when watching a movie or whatever w/ people in the room... they know!!! lol
Seems like a lot of young girls "act" like they could be bi... just b/c they see Girls Gone wild commercials... they think it's "cool" to be like that.
I think it's a slap in the face to people who actually are bi... not just bi when they are drunk... or when they think it makes them sexy.
Reminds me of the whole "Metro-Sexual" thing. When pretending to be the gay stereotype is the new cool...
Nah Demon we were talking about it before the threesome thing even came up. She's always wanted to be sexual and try things just has always been too nervous and afraid. She knows I'll be extra careful with her and won't use her. So after the 3some thing went down she just kinda decided, let's just do it and not wait cause she's tired of talking about it and putting it off. So she's basically wanting to just face her fears for what she wants.
I can tell by what she tells me that she truly is ready and wants to do it for herself and not for me or anyone else.
Why not break off the three month relationship and have some real fun together, no strings attached?
18 is no time to be in a long relationship, as I am discovering.
Definitely not time for a LTR...best idea is to make friends have sex, find what you like. (In and out of bed ;))
Excuse me? She didn't want to and now she does want to? "I can tell by what she tells me"??
BS
It is by what she DOES that you tell or not - words are just toys for her to push you/pull you where she wants you to go.
The girl is flaky - either she puts this thing together or it isn't happening. Make it HER job to do.
Ephemera and Ducy you guys can't make those kinds of statements and judgements on someone you don't know. I'm sorry but I'd rather have a solid relationship than just sex all the time. Maybe if you knew I was single for 2-3 years straight while homeschooling then you'd see I am looking for companionship and a mature relationship rather than just straight out sex. I'm sorry but grow up.
And EEK I know words aren't a definite answer. She wants to do things I can tell that by her words AND actions. She is just nervous.
The curse of home-schooling!
Of course she's nervous - but you ONLY do such adventures when the desire outweighs the fear and NOT before that.
Yeah. When they first brought it up I was like in shock they were serious, but as I said it just sounded fun to them and they hadn't thought about the serious side of it till I brought it up. I didn't like the idea really at all, and I was asking them questions and stuff to see if they even were near ready and I knew they weren't.
Wait wait wait...ME, grow up?
Dont make me laugh morbid. First off, I said it is definitely not time fro a LTR. You know why? Because your 18 and you need to start dating people so that you can learn what you like.
I was single up until I was 16, and it wasnt even a relationship it was me being some girls servant. The next one wasnt till a year and a half later.
The reason I say have sex isnt becaues thats the only thing you want. Nor is it because Im some immature "kid". By having sex, you prevent "testosterone poisoning" which can make you make really really REALLY stupid decisions. You also get to relieve stress and you can strengthen bonds with people.
Ask an of the major "helpers" of this site, they will all advocate the same thing, date around and find what you like. I mean hell you said it yourself 'maybe if you knew I was single for 2-3 years youd know I was looking for a companion' Obviously you are just trying to latch on to the first warm body you get.
...grow up...ha
And if this is the same girlfriend who is living with her mother that you have been talking about in your other thread - the answer is not just NO but HELL NO!! No 3-somes!!!
[quote=EvilEvilKitten;214270]And if this is the same girlfriend who is living with her mother that you have been talking about in your other thread - the answer is not just NO but HELL NO!! No 3-somes!!![/quote]
Morbid:
You are killing all here. No LTR you are 18 and she is 16; ready to marry? If not why are you getting so involved rather than experimenting. Regardless of her actual biological age, maturity wise she is a baby. You hanging on? Why? Look at why you are doing this--introspection is most helpful.
When you allow yourself to live in a narrow world you are limited by your own fears/insecurities. LTR with a 16 y/o? You know better, you are setting yourself up for pain.
I don't know why you guys keep dragging this out. I've told you the 3-some ordeal is done with and has been for a week now. Just drop it and stop telling me my own feelings. I come to this site for advice and instead I get people trying to run my life and make my decisions for me, when none of you know me. Sure I could date around, have sex with a bunch of people but ya know what? High school isn't over. Sure I am graduated, sure, I am working while schools going on, but I'm still hanging out with the same crowds. I'm not in college yet and I haven't met any new random people. So I can't go around and "experiment" as you would say. I really love this girl and I don't care if it's not love to you guys. It is to me and her and that is all that matters. We are happy together, why would I give up on that?
High school is over for you, you are a man playing with "jail bait". You need to be the man and step up to mom re: your actions. Re: your G/F, she is indecisive, young, and you will most likely be followed/replaced by another in time and be hurt. What many see are bad choices here. Thoughts of a threesome [on her end] yet not willing to admit to mom she is with you [your other thread]. This is a young lady who needs time to grow & a chance to grow up.
Food for thought though--no sex. Mom caught you & FYI down in KY they are tough on those who fool with a minor.
You get defensive only because you know we're right. Once you cross the 18 year old threshold, baby - it is all over. So it doesn't matter if it is lust, infatuation, or love - it still means JAIL. Which is what we have been trying to get you to see for some time now.
[quote=EvilEvilKitten;214301]You get defensive only because you know we're right. Once you cross the 18 year old threshold, baby - it is all over. So it doesn't matter if it is lust, infatuation, or love - it still means JAIL. Which is what we have been trying to get you to see for some time now.[/quote]
Yes, EEK and a registered "sex offender" for life.
reminds me of a guy who was joining the army, his girlfriend had sex with him, and then she turned around and said she was raped cuz she was scared of what her parents would think if they found out, later admitted after the trial that she lied, and now the guy still cant join the military though cuz he is a sex offender
[quote=Ducy;214306]reminds me of a guy who was joining the army, his girlfriend had sex with him, and then she turned around and said she was raped cuz she was scared of what her parents would think if they found out, later admitted after the trial that she lied, and now the guy still cant join the military though cuz he is a sex offender[/quote]There are several classes; however, all stay with you for life and ban one forever from "freedoms". A friend of mine was out with his younger g/f he was 18, she was 17 and together for a while. Mom pressed charges & he was Jailed. Years ago there was no registry; however, this alone ruined him & his career. Really was a shame, now one of the reasons parents cannot press charges it must be done through Law Enforcement or the ADA. Often younger women get caught by a parent and go to the ER claiming a "rape" due to pressure of a parent. Often the police can get the truth out of it but it still leaves many disgruntled. Meanwhile, those who actually are raped are scrutinized secondary to these actions. The majority of rape victims do not press charges.
Yea one of the people on my street is crazy and wanted my neighbor to marry her daughter (He was 19 she was 17 and they were simply good friends) and she would have him spend the night when she was out of town and stuff. Then when he said he wasnt interested, she called the cops, claimed rape and such, and he was arrested, spent forever going to court and such until about a year later when they finally figured out it was just another psycho parent