ok quick simple question, I think i'm being stupid for getting mad about this subject but I want to know if i'm justified or if I should get over it.
My situation is simple, my girlfriend loves to role-play with other people (like fantasy making their own book) doesn't bug me a bit, she sometimes even cybers, again this does not bother me. Although she said something that did urk me a little, that she finds entertainment out of turning other guys on, yes she will NEVER see these people and remain faithful to me. So was I justified in getting upset? No I havn't confronted her because I think I was stupid to feel this way.
i like to know that i turn other guys on. even if im not attracted to them. lots of girls do. personally i like to feel like other guys want me, but only my guy can have me lol
If i found out my girl was cybering with guys, I'd ditch her ass & burn her clothes. It's cheating in my eyes.
I don't care that she cybers, just mostly that she was entertained that she turned on other guys. Not like got off to it or anything.
This is also why I don't understand why the title was changed to it was, I do not care that she cybers in the slightest cause she'll never make contact with them and she remains loyal to me.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196985]She's just exercising a "feminine power play" with others that she apparently cannot do with you.
So how insecure are you?
(laughing at Sirene's jealousy of mind games)[/QUOTE]
No mind games, just going to other people for things your guy supplies in buckets.
It's not a mind game, it's messing about in a relationship & it's not on.
Don't laugh because you've had to get used to guys cheating on you.
She's just exercising a "feminine power play" with others that she apparently cannot do with you.
So how insecure are you?
(laughing at Sirene's jealousy of mind games)
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196985]She's just exercising a "feminine power play" with others that she apparently cannot do with you.
So how insecure are you?
(laughing at Sirene's jealousy of mind games)[/QUOTE]
Is that a good or a bad thing? It sounds like what are describing is a normal female thing.
Actually it is rather harmless. But Sirene's acting as if cyber is real, when it is exactly like guys watching pornography. Between the two - there's no difference. Do you think watching pornography is 'cheating'? (BTW remember, if you're not married, it is not 'cheating'.)
"No mind games, just going to other people for things your guy supplies in buckets.
It's not a mind game, it's messing about in a relationship & it's not on.
Don't laugh because you've had to get used to guys cheating on you."
Apparently Sirene has "issues".
Cybering? Rather have the real stuff.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197158]Actually it is rather harmless. But Sirene's acting as if cyber is real, when it is exactly like guys watching pornography. Between the two - there's no difference. Do you think watching pornography is 'cheating'? (BTW remember, if you're not married, it is not 'cheating'.)
"No mind games, just going to other people for things your guy supplies in buckets.
It's not a mind game, it's messing about in a relationship & it's not on.
Don't laugh because you've had to get used to guys cheating on you."
Apparently Sirene has "issues".[/QUOTE]
It's nothing like watching porn. It's actively going out there to find members of the opposite sex, to sexually please.
"BTW remember, if you're not married, it is not 'cheating"
Thats the biggest pile of crap I've ever heard in my life.
Cheating is cheating, wether married or not. You do not cheat in a relationship, no excuses!
You and me both, Sera! The real thing or nothing, thank you!
You watch a pornographic video onver the Internet. She's watching some guy's online cam. Where's the difference? Really, come on now. For most women, knowing she can get him "up" is a power play mind game. She's irresistable.
Excuses? Why do you act so insecurely? You seem highly "possessive".
Usually those who insist upon "don't even think of looking at another guy" are so controlling because they FEAR losing her. Most often, men such as yourself end up bringing about just what they fear. They end up driving her away by their behavior. If you don't trust, do you truly love?
Get yourself a Stepford-gf then Sirene and rest easy.
If it's porno with a game where she plays with him causing his arousal. This happen just through flirting. Maybe her hidden fantasy is to be a Mistress Dom and this is her way of doing it harmlessly. As long as her identity is unknown, that's all which is important....no personal information!
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197245]You and me both, Sera! The real thing or nothing, thank you!
You watch a pornographic video onver the Internet. She's watching some guy's online cam. Where's the difference? Really, come on now. For most women, knowing she can get him "up" is a power play mind game. She's irresistable.
Excuses? Why do you act so insecurely? You seem highly "possessive".
Usually those who insist upon "don't even think of looking at another guy" are so controlling because they FEAR losing her. Most often, men such as yourself end up bringing about just what they fear. They end up driving her away by their behavior. If you don't trust, do you truly love?
Get yourself a Stepford-gf then Sirene and rest easy.[/QUOTE]
He said cybering, not one way cybering.
She's on cam, he's on cam & they watching each other play with themselves.
How the hell is that the same as watching porn?
When you watch porn you dont participate... when you cyber you ~do~ participate.
I'm no more possessive than the girls i go out with.
I dont mind girls being insecure & possessive, & because of that they dont mind me being like that.
Yeah Im insecure, so ****ing what? Big deal! At least I'm not as intolerant as you are!
I've never said to my girl anything like "don't even think of looking at another guy". She & all the girls I've been with know that drooling & checking out the opposite sex is not something you ~openly~ do in a relationship... & so do i!
I bet once you were insecure... it seems like once upon a time you were like an insecure sheep, & now you're overcompensating by acting the hard hearted, intolerant rude cow you are today
I thought cybering is those cyber sex where they use chatting programs and talk to each other without knowing who is on the other side?
The one Sirene mentions about..ain't it different?
Okay...first come one now...every guy alive likes to know that he can make girls hot, even when they're taken. Its a way to boost the male ego...although it breaks so easily lol. Who cares. I mean I dont know exactly what it is, I figured it was clouded, and thats why you could make a fantasy meeting out of it. I mean if I was sitting their talking about joining the mile high club, I would find it harder to imagine if I was sitting their watching a girl sitting in her computer room.
But hey I may be wrong. What difference does it make if she doesnt go out and meet them, does it affect your relationship? If not dont worry, in fact, you should try to see the good side to it, use it to turn you on, and then take her right then and there ;)
Just make sure the other guy has a condom if shes gonna be having cybersex...last thing you need is a computer virus :p
Sirene doesn't fondle himself when he watches pornography?!?!?!
Uh-huh.
Cybering is anything mutual over the Internet either with words and cams or without or in any combination thereof. You can do group cybering using yahoo conference calling if you want a virtual gangbang. BFD. All of it ISN'T REAL.
If it isn't skin on skin - it is nothing.
Intolerant? Hey I'm not the one ready to call any old thing "cheating"!
I haven't been insecure since I was 14 which was a long time ago, babycakes!
Give it up, Sirene.
Ducy you're right and both genders like knowing they can make attractive potential partners "hot and bothered" - it chuffs them up to no end!
Cheating, in my opinion, is looking outside of an exclusive romantic/dating/sexual relationship for the emotional/physical/sexual gratification you are supposed to be exclusively sharing between the 2 people in that relationship. Not someone to hang out with, or go dancing with, I mean someone who you do girlfriend/boyfriend/partner stuff with. You can have as many close friends as you like, but there is a line and when it is crossed, it is cheating.
If you are dating or seeing someone, you are free to meet other people but it is always a courtesy to at least let them know you are or ensure that you are 100% clear where you stand. If they don't like the thought of it, at least they are informed enough to leave before they get hurt or give you grief.
Do I think cyber sex is cheating? There is a thin line to walk on this one - I think it is more the question of why you find you need to do it? Are you doing it because you are unsatisfied in your relationship? If so, you need to decide if you would rather talk it out and be with the other person, or if you would rather find someone else. Either way, you should be talking to your partner.
It is different to looking at pre-recorded, mass produced porn. There is one on one interaction, be it through typing or webcam. I imagine it can relieve some frustrations, and it can spice things up in the bedroom, but like I said before, talk to your partner about why you are feeling the need to do it. Everyone gets off on the feeling of being found sexually attractive, by a stranger or someone close to you, but if you are seriously with someone, they deserve to at least have a chance to make things better. Who knows, they might be into it too, which could lead to some interesting hotel evenings when they are away on a business trip ;)
[QUOTE=atomic;197299]Cheating, in my opinion, is looking outside of an exclusive romantic/dating/sexual relationship for the emotional/physical/sexual gratification you are supposed to be exclusively sharing between the 2 people in that relationship.[/QUOTE]
Exactly. That's probably the definition of cheating.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197296]Sirene doesn't fondle himself when he watches pornography?!?!?!
Uh-huh.
Cybering is anything mutual over the Internet either with words and cams or without or in any combination thereof. You can do group cybering using yahoo conference calling if you want a virtual gangbang. BFD. All of it ISN'T REAL.
If it isn't skin on skin - it is nothing.
Intolerant? Hey I'm not the one ready to call any old thing "cheating"!
I haven't been insecure since I was 14 which was a long time ago, babycakes!
Give it up, Sirene.
Ducy you're right and both genders like knowing they can make attractive potential partners "hot and bothered" - it chuffs them up to no end![/QUOTE]
"If it isn't skin on skin - it is nothing."
Right, so if your husband went off & wanked on cam for some hot girl, while she was playing with herself too, all on cam, talking to each other trying to get each other off... thats not cheating?
Ha! I feel sorry for you. If you want to put up with that kind of cheating crap in your relationship, then fair enough... but the majority of us will not put up with anything like that... know why? Because he is looking for sexual gratification from someone else, other than you... AKA cheating!!
Of course i play with myself while watching porn, but im not interacting with anyone, I'm not tryin to get anyone off!
Yes, i agree with Sirene and Atomic. If you are in a relationship, you should be "cybering" with your partner. However, i feel that all the experimentation one wants to do should be done while dating because marriage is sacred. After that, i would not look lustfully at another guy or flirt with another guy and only do sexual things with my husband. but before marriage, yeah, i might let my guy do things i wouldn't take after being married.
anyway, to get back to the subject. you can be upset if you want a more faithful relationship. Why can't you dirty talk to her and pretend you're cybering? maybe she wants someone to dirty talk to her and since she doesn't get it from you, she cybers with other men. if that isn't the case and she truly wants to cyber with other people and not you, then you can call it her experiments before marriage or you can have a discussion about the "rules" of your relationship- one of them meaning no cybering with other men. But if she asks you to never look at porn, i think that's fair. she can be your pornstar. take her on a shopping spree to victoria secrets for sexy lingerie, and then take her clothes shopping for sexy date night clothes and makeup shopping, and all the girly things you want her to dress up as and roleplay. Also support her in a healthy diet and exercise program (sexercise!) hehe! this is my best advice, hope this helps.
How long have you been married, Sirene?
How long have I been married?
"Because he is looking for sexual gratification from someone else, other than you... AKA cheating!!"
Under that definition, Sirene then even masturbation would be cheating.
GET REAL
Tsk tsk another topic off hand :-P
I think I see what you are saying though EEK I thought it was stupid I got a little upset about it. I never considered it cheating nor would I confront her about it if me myself am having doubts that I am being stupid.
Yeah I don't care that she cybers like I said, and now I can see why I shouldn't ever care that she likes to turn other guys on again. As long as she never does anything with another, i'm cool.
Excellent, Yariome. She's found a good man.
What has marriage got to do with cheating?
I've had relationships, minus the piece of paper that says I'm married... & i dont put up with cheating, unlike you.
No, masturbation would not be cheating under that defintion... because one of gratifying himself sexually while masturbating.
YOU get real, you need to stop thinking inside your tiny little box, & stop thinking that everyone should be like you.
The majority of couples out there do not take kindly to cheating, married or not. It's about time you realised that & quit. I feel sorry for you, the way you sound makes it very very apparent that you're trying to overcompensate for a lot of things. Lose the act, we can all tell.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197365]How long have you been married, Sirene?
How long have I been married?
"Because he is looking for sexual gratification from someone else, other than you... AKA cheating!!"
Under that definition, Sirene then even masturbation would be cheating.
GET REAL[/QUOTE]
Sirene - it is STILL sexual gratification other than with her. Someone else also includes him.
I have nothing for which I need to compensate. I really am as I appear to be in here; up -front, forthright,truthful, unemotional, and in no fear of confrontation. No, I do not care about your emotions, nor do I care about your ego. But if you want the unvarnished truth - that I will give you.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197677]Sirene - it is STILL sexual gratification other than with her. Someone else also includes him.
[/QUOTE]
Oh right, so i play with myself then really, im playing with someone else... according to you if im gratifying myself it means someone else is gratifying me or im gratifying someone else.
NOT QUITE!
Someone else does NOT include him, it's so simple!!!
from her perspective - you are someone else - duh! "Someone else" in YOUR definition includes anyone who is not her.
Hey, it is your definition.
No, it's himself.
As in, he is satisfying himself through lone masturbation (which most people do). ~Different~ from cybering & satisfying someone else.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;197365]Under that definition, Sirene then even masturbation would be cheating.
GET REAL[/QUOTE]
Oh my god what have I done?!?! I told myself I would never cheat. :(
"Other than her" remember!!!
Guess she'll HAVE to put out now!
LMAO!!!
[QUOTE=Ducy;197811]Oh my god what have I done?!?! I told myself I would never cheat. :([/QUOTE]
Me too Ducy...aren't we such horrible people?