My girlfriend and I have been together now for just over a year. We're both very happy in our relationship, but are both currently worrying about whether she's pregnant.
We always use a condom, though she isn't on any other form of birth control. We've never had a condom break or anything of that sort either. She typically has her period during the first week of the month. It's now the last day of the second week of the month (the 14th) and she hasn't had her period. I know that a change in a woman's diet may affect her period and shes on a very low fat intake diet right now and is working out constantly. Shes also been stressed lately with school and her job.
I've also noticed, however, that shes a bit moody lately. She is typically a rather moody person haha but Im not sure if it's just my mind or if it's worse than usual... but I believe it is. Also, she's using the bathroom constantly... but shes always had to do that, so it makes it difficult to tell if it's a sign of pregnancy or business as usual.
We're both unprepared for a pregnancy. Shes said that if she is pregnant she would more than likely have an abortion... but that's something I really don't want her to have to go through.
Are these signs that we should be afraid of, or are we simply imagining and worrying too much?
Hey sera what are depo shots?
Depo-Provera is a progesterone based injection which is administered every 3 months. There is no estrogen in this hormonal birth control and it stops the menstrual cycle so you will not have a period or ovulate.
Do a search on the Internet and read about it. The down side is once it's administered it cannot be stopped until it "runs out" of your body vs. BCP's where you can just stop them if you are having bad side effects.
[quote=PaulOrama;174752]Thanks for all of your help.
How effective is spermicide? I could be wrong but I thought I heard something saying there wasn't enough spermicide on spermicide condoms to be realisitcally effective? I'm not sure though.
I asked her today if she wanted to take a pregnancy test and after some discussion she originally said yes, so I told her I would pick one up after I got off work. While I was at work though she called me and said she didn't want to take one tonight. It kind of bothered me because it's a decision that affects both of us in a huge way. I know she's afraid though.
Also, I told her I would really like it if she began taking the pill or the 3 month shot, but she said she wanted to finish her diet first because the pill makes it harder for her. As a result of this scare though, I think I may stray from sex until she does get on a form of protection.
Thank you so much for all of your help again. Just talking to others about it is at least somewhat relaxing haha.[/quote]
The spermicide on a condom is not enough. Using a spermicide insert, jelly, or film is what needs to be used in conjunction w/a condom. They are OTC and can be purchased at any drug store.
Skipping a preg. test does not change the results and hinders possibilities if it's positive. Encourage her to do it, it's your life too.
The pill is good, Depo shots also work well (given every 3 months) but are not to be used if a woman wishes to conceive in the near future. It can take up to 1 year to restore a normal cycle. I don't think in your case this is an issue.
Good luck!
You are welcome, anytime.
Thanks sera
Thanks for all of your help.
How effective is spermicide? I could be wrong but I thought I heard something saying there wasn't enough spermicide on spermicide condoms to be realisitcally effective? I'm not sure though.
I asked her today if she wanted to take a pregnancy test and after some discussion she originally said yes, so I told her I would pick one up after I got off work. While I was at work though she called me and said she didn't want to take one tonight. It kind of bothered me because it's a decision that affects both of us in a huge way. I know she's afraid though.
Also, I told her I would really like it if she began taking the pill or the 3 month shot, but she said she wanted to finish her diet first because the pill makes it harder for her. As a result of this scare though, I think I may stray from sex until she does get on a form of protection.
Thank you so much for all of your help again. Just talking to others about it is at least somewhat relaxing haha.
I mean its always possible..condoms fail.
Working out extensively and stress can cause your cycle to be irregular.
If you are worried...just take a pregnancy test.
No use wondering or worrying...that could just delay it even more!
Follow demons advice & try a home preg test. Stress causes weird things to happen to our body's. So does excessive exercise. And when you are at the store buy some spermicide for next time. Discuss the benefits of going on the birth control pill. A week late is not a big deal but do the test.
Your penis was in her vagina. There is a possibility. Of 100 sexually active women using condoms properly for a year, fifteen will become pregnant. The primary cause of failure for condoms is not leakage or breakange; it is sperm swimming around the open end. That is why vaginal jelly is recommended with condoms.
Just an update, the test came back negative.
Unfortunately, as a result of the stress and everything from this, our relationship is a bit on the rocks now...
Things will work out for the best though.
Okay, the test is negative but why would it throw the relationship into a tail spin?
Ive read on the net that there have been some cases where women responded very badly witt the injections! i dont think i will be suggesting them to my gf any time soon!
[quote=tikteka57;174883]Ive read on the net that there have been some cases where women responded very badly witt the injections! i dont think i will be suggesting them to my gf any time soon![/quote]
As with any medication there are bad side effects with some individuals. However, many women have used them with no difficulty, myself included.
Finally!! someone who actually took our advice and went and took a test..instead of posting everyday saying it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry about being on the rocks...if anything it should make things stronger...that you survived a scare. Just be careful from now on
I agree w/that one Demon! A responsible person who went and bought it (and did it)! Yeah! No offense the the OP, many just ignore such a simple test and post daily the lack of results!
Indeed!
Kudos to you and your g/f.
I would just say give her some time. Having a pregancy scare is really stressful and does kind of "shock" you back into reality. I've had one really bad one... I wasn't pregnant... but it did make me paranoid of sex.. and I think I avoided it all together for awhile. I think my b/f understood my hesitance to just "jump back in". Just be there for your g/f and understand if she is a little reluctant to have sex so soon.
I've had one too, but i love children and was almost excited even though im young. My gf thought it was cute and then the next morning she had her period. so it was all good, and i think it brought us closer
[QUOTE=demonbuttercup;174963]Indeed!
Kudos to you and your g/f.
I would just say give her some time. Having a pregancy scare is really stressful and does kind of "shock" you back into reality. I've had one really bad one... I wasn't pregnant... but it did make me paranoid of sex.. and I think I avoided it all together for awhile. I think my b/f understood my hesitance to just "jump back in". Just be there for your g/f and understand if she is a little reluctant to have sex so soon.[/QUOTE]
Hahah well first, I'm happy I could make you all so happy by just purchasing a pregnancy test lol.
And the reason it has us a bit rocky right now is for a group of reasons. For awhile shes been really stressed out. Occasionally she'll have "freak-outs" because of some issues that occured in her childhood (this is what her counselor told her at least). Also, I had to really push the pregnancy test. I was never mean about it, but she just seemed afraid to confront the issue and I realized that we couldn't just ignore it so I would try to bring it up and push it.
What's ironic here is... she's not the one "paranoid" of sex. We were messing around the other day and she suggested we have sex and I told her that i felt like we should wait until she gets on a form of protection... she didn't take that very well. Looking back I know I should have told her that in a less emotional situation, but hindsight is always 20/20. She said she doesnt want to get on the pill or the shot because it makes her gain weight and emotional and shes on a diet... so I'm not sure how that's going to turn out.
As a result of her "freak-outs" and such... I've kind of closed up around her. Seeing our long phone calls as something that delays me from getting things off my busy schedule rather than a welcomed break now. I, obviously, feel bad about these emotions but... things will work out for the best.
Thank you all so much again. Its all been very helpful. I've come to this forum for maybe two years now whenever I've had questions, concerns, or just needed to talk and it's members have always helped.
Paul, take it from a girl who got pregnant by "accident" (it was our first time for god sakes! Talk about fertile!) she NEEDS to get tested. There are chemical abortions that are expensive but much less risky then the other "suction" methods. However, the chemical way HAS HAS HAS to be done BEFORE WEEK NINE!!!! After that NO doctor will let a girl have it because the chemical induced miscarriage is done at home and miscarriages are traumatic enough before the baby looks like a baby. If she is thinking of having an abortion if she is pregnant then she needs to find out for sure ASAP.... Delaying the inevitable could ruin your lives and the life of your innocent child. As I said, I got "lucky" and miscarried naturally in week eight, but the odds of that happening aren't good.
[quote=dust_bunny87;177391]Paul, take it from a girl who got pregnant by "accident" (it was our first time for god sakes! Talk about fertile!) she NEEDS to get tested. There are chemical abortions that are expensive but much less risky then the other "suction" methods. However, the chemical way HAS HAS HAS to be done BEFORE WEEK NINE!!!! After that NO doctor will let a girl have it because the chemical induced miscarriage is done at home and miscarriages are traumatic enough before the baby looks like a baby. If she is thinking of having an abortion if she is pregnant then she needs to find out for sure ASAP.... Delaying the inevitable could ruin your lives and the life of your innocent child. As I said, I got "lucky" and miscarried naturally in week eight, but the odds of that happening aren't good.[/quote]
Dust bunny:
He already posted the testing was negative.