what was the youngest age that you have had sex or done any really intimate sexual activities with the other person was?
Is 'jailbait' such a big problem?
What if the girl accepts to have sex with someone older?
All this talk about jailbait and sex with younger girls are all confusing. Does it matter? Even if both people agree and understand when they have sex?
And is it still okay to think about sex or really sexual activities with much younger girls?
If you do, what do you think about?
Tue, 02/08/2011 - 09:50
#1
Is She Jailbait..?
The problem with "jailbait" is exactly what it says; would you risk going to jail just for a few minutes of fun???
Why there's a legal age to sex
The reason why there are laws about the age we're "allowed" to have sex is to protect younglings against predators and those who'd take advantage of them. After all; (young) teens are generally vulnerable. They are in the middle of defining their personality and are usually confused by all the changes in body and mind with all those raging hormones. Low selfesteem is not uncommon. Plus; many start looking for love outside their homes, away from their parents. All combined in some cases makes them "lovejunkies" (doing anything to get it). On top of that; teens are still developing their skills to oversee longterm consequences of their actions and are in most cases not able to deal with it.
Conveniently, in Holland the age in which a woman is allowed to decide over the fate of her child, is the same as the legal age to have sex which is 16 (messing with those under 13 and you're a pedophile, over 18 one could have sex professionally, maybe soon the latter will be 20 or 22). Under 16 no-one can force you to abort, but her parents will have jurisdiction over what happens to the newborn. Fun fact would be that the age to "have sex" not only refers to intercourse, but also oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.
The law used against us
The reasons to provide legal protection are clear. But it's sometimes used against people. I personally have a problem with; boys being dragged to court by the angry parents of a girl who very much wanted sex with that guy. I'm talking boys being late teen and girls being under 16. They call it "statutory rape". That's 1) an insult for the girls who have really been raped 2) heartbreaking for the young couple that never meant to do any harm. And mind you; even the girl could be convicted since she also broke the law! Even if it doesn't come to conviction of anyone it's a horrible situation that takes months and could wrack lives!
Age; only a number?
That was "age" as an absolute number. How about:
-relative age. Meaning: you can date someone much younger that is not jailbait. You're both consenting adults, but there's a considerable agedifference between the two of you.
-soul age The first usually relates to something I'd call "soul age"; like the saying that there are old souls and young spirits. This refers to individual differences in development; people mature at a very different pace.
-looks age And there's something such as "from the looks of it". Which could confuse people when a teen "looks" much older, but them having sex did happen to be illegal. The other way around; you could even be convicted for having pics of girls that "look" younger. The "looks" could also be circumstantial. I have been guessed to be both 8 years older and younger in the same month last year(!)
Which brings me to the question; Why did you start this thread? Because of someone in particular that you really like, but happens to be a lot younger? Or because you simply like them "younger"?
because all I hear nowadays are people saying this and that about a girl's age and the age gap between two couples. It's like I don't even know anymore.
I have gone out with girls younger than me but I never realized it was such a big issue. Like, I never realized it was this big.
I don't like to judge people because of appearance or age or ethnicity. It is basically who I am, I don't like to judge. I always go for personality. So I never thought much about those age gaps. Is there like a certain limit to the age gap or anything?
Legally? I don't know the legal system in Australia. But as far as I know, there's an age when you're not allowed to have sex and an age that you are. From that moment on; it doesn't matter what the agegap is.
Culturally? Now that's a difficult one... I'm in a relationship with an older man and I've gotten nasty looks on the street, especially from women (but then again; who hasn't! :rolleyes:) From all the people that know me, I've never heard one foul word about the agegap in my relationship. Neither has my bf. My mom wasn't surprised when I told her, she said she actually had expected me to date someone at least 10 years older (based on my maturity level she didn't think it could work out with someone my age). His mom has never commented on it; she's actually liked me from the start and welcomed me to the family :)
So, I agree with you on going for personality! I've always chosen my friends that way and it just happens to be they're sometimes twice my age. I don't even ask. Sad to say that when such issues do become part of the conversation, I've actually lost friends because of it... :( Some would suddenly belittle me, some would suddenly become distant, some started slowly mothering/fathering me. The latter usually took the longest to wrack it; leading to a sort of hierarchy and slowly destroying the equal roles in our friendship. When it comes to sex, my bf is my first, so not much experience in the dating-department for me. However: I am, and have always been, careful not to get myself in a situation in which a man would only "want" me for my younger age and body. I hate to be valued as a piece of meat.
Since there are laws, just be mindful of those! Other than that, let age just be a number :)
All legal jurisdictions have established an "age of consent." It is the age at which the authorities consider each partner to be capable of understanding the implications of sex. Some places it is 14 and some 18 and some in between. I am aware of one case where BOTH the boy and girl, each fifteen, was found guilty of having sex with a minor.
Redroses explains this all in greater detail but laws are established for a purpose. Incidentally my first was with an underage male whilst I was an underage girl.