You have a 2 year old son. Maybe she's just really tired and it's hard for her to snap out of Mommy mode. Maybe, if you can, get someone to help, and once a week have a bbysitter come and sit with the bay while you go on a date. Myabe that would help.

I hate to be the meanie here but the "...it's her body and she can have sex or not..." statement is true yet at the same time is full of s**t. A relationship is based on the closeness 2 people feel for one another. And take it from me, the "no, not tonight" or the "I'm too tired" is crap! That only goes so far and the one who's being told "no" gets old! Yes, conversation is good, a doctors visit is good even counseling is good but if it still comes down to the "no" then eventually you're going to wonder - maybe the truth hurts but after all is said and done maybe the hard core truth is inevidible.
Again.....sorry for being a meanie about it.

I would go to counseling.

I think it's very imprortant to have sex in a relationship. It helps keep you close. I mean, it's not the basis of a relationship, but I think it makes you closer. And hey, we're human and have those needs. Of course you want to have sex with your beautiful wife. Why not?

if you've told her how much it bothers you and she does not relent, I would go talk to someone together to work it out.

Maybe she sees herself more as being a mommy, and having sex seems at odds with that??

how refreshing to hear that.

It's her body, it's her decision if she wants to have sex or not. There is obviously a big difference between love and sex. Just love her for what she is. Love isn't always about sex whether you're married or not...

rawbone, I'm puddy in your hands. Lucky women in your life.

Wally's made some great points! Now, as always, I have some questions!

Clearly you've been married at least 2 years (you have a child), and you've obviously had SOME converstation about the lack of sex (she said she has no interest in sex)......ok.... has she given you any advice on how YOU should deal with it?

I mean, fine, she has no interest - that's it? You have to just like it or lump it?

My point is, there has to be SOME reasonable accomodation for expressing your mutual love and affection for each other sexually! I would bet that if you asked many of our female posters that they would confess to having sex with their partner even tho they themselves were not very "in the mood" at the time.

That said, it may also be the way you're asking! If you just say, "honey, why don't we have sex that often?" or "Honey, i am horney, lets have sex"...she may really think it's just about sex - notlove!

I think that you need to reinforce that part of your way of expressing your love and devotion to her is thru sex! Now, she may or maynot view sex as an outward expression of love - but if if you do - she needs to know that!

You also need to consider being a bit more "creative" with your intimacy needs!

Instead of saying "Honey, get a baby-sitter and let's go out tonite" = YOU GET THE BABY SITTER! Then, have a nice dinner, and rent a hotel room. Get to the hotel room earlier in the afternoon and have some candles ready, and bubble bath, some flowers and some massage oil!

After dinner (preferable in the hotel you are renting the room from - Hyatt hotels ahve WONDERFUL restaurants) you simply take her by the hand, and instead of going to the car,you go to the elevator, and tell her u have a surprise (Make sure you made a dash to the room, lit the candles,drew a hot bath, etc).....and bingo...you have a niec intimate evening with your wife - no kids, no phone, no pets, nothing but the two of you! Even if it's jsut a wonderful massage = it's quality intimate time!

I have done this several times in the past and TRUST ME, it's a wonderful way of re=igniting a flame!

Hope this helps......and i hope you can refer back here again and tell us how it's going!

There are way too many possibilities for a partner's lack of interest in sex... and prescription without diagnosis is malpractice.

If she truly has almost zero sex drive, it would be worth a trip to the doc to at least eliminate the possibility there's something physical affecting it.

That said, the two statements she makes and the fact they annoy you suggest there is more going on here than a simple lack of desire. It may be time for a relationship check up as well. There's a potential "catch 22" in this. You are very interested in sex; she is not. That could be the result of relationship issues. If it is not, it will create relationship issues depending on how (or whether or not!) you both cope with it.

Bottom line: start looking for solutions. Since you like the letters on Literotica, why not write her one while she's away?

[QUOTE=Quote (LongingJoe @ Jan. 24 2005,15:56)]I should clarify things a little.  

I don't press her every nite about sex.  Maybe once every two weeks.  I don't say let me get on you or anything I say, "Would you like to have a special time or something to that effect at most."

Usually I just let her know by getting close to her in bed or rubbing her back.  When I touch her often she feels that I am trying to seduce her or something.  She likes to hug and we hold hands when we are out.

She is often very tired from work and the baby and all.

I don't think she considers sex an expression of love too much.  She has said, "You are my husband it wouldn't seem right to have sex."

Sex is important to me, but having been married to her for eight years and never having a serious fight and having little sex I am not obsessed with sex anymore.  

I think it would make our relationship more intimate and passionate.  I would like that.  Yet I love her anyway and I would never, never leave her because of sex issues.  I promised to care for her when we got married and I will not break my vow.

Please help with suggestions[/QUOTE]
That sounds odd how she says, "it wouldnt seem right to have sex with my husband"