So, a month after my girlfriend suggested we get a vibrator & a butt plug, I asked her to come to the computer to show her some vibrators (she didn't want to go to a shop, she would get embarrassed) she replies with "yeah whatever", I said to her "what's wrong, you suggested it", she says that she knows she did but it scares her.
She obviously likes the idea of it, but now has negative feelings about it. I know she's the type to like that kind of thing, but how can I make her feel better about actually buying them?
Should I buy them & suprise her with them, or should I get her to agree on picking one out with me in the internet?
How can I make her feel more comfortable with going through with an idea she suggested, & likes the sound of, but it's just actually coming to it & going through with it, even with a degree of anxiety about it?
Thanks
Try taking a step back here. Begin by buying a smaller clitoral stimulator - the vibe with the flat head with maybe a few small bumps on it. Think non-aggressive. Think small. Think non-threatening. Yes she may want it and yet again also feel insecure about giving way to her desires - so 'baby steps', hun. No need to rush it.
I think you just need to have a talk with her about it, and ask her why she's being this way.
That said, I think it would be safe to go ahead and purchase these things on the internet and surprise her. Maybe a Christmas present? Hey, if she doesn't want them, you could always use them on yourself (I've heard men can have a great deal of fun with vibrators!). Since she was into the idea initially, I'm guessing she's just a little uncomfortable with her sexuality and talking about sex.
Yah go ahead and buy them, and if anything leave them in the bathroom maybe and let her find them and use them when she feels comfortable, maybe while you are gone one day, she can experiment.
Try asking her if the problem is that she's having second thoughts or if she simply doesn't know what she's looking for- I think the latter would be an embarassing dilemma that would make a lot of first time sex toy shoppers squeamish.
Great advice. Im going to talk to her about it more, if she still doesnt like the idea I'll leave it for a while. Or I'll focus on the idea of pleasuring me with them, instead of focusing on her, which i think she's bothered about.
i would love a sex toy, but the idea of actually buying one bothers me a bit. i would be a bit embarrassed by the whole thing, so the idea of you sneaking out and getting one is a really nice idea - but as evilkitten said start small. it just needs to be made normal and non threatening you know?
Yea it helps to buy something small, like a clit vibe or something.
It is intimidating to see a huge rubber penis!!! lol trust me, I've been there.
The toys that are penis replicas seem a little more embarrassing than just a regular toy.
Plus some of us women may have been disturbed about the idea by a toy we were given as youngsters...
The bumble ball scares the **** out of me when I think about it and as a result of this, I am a little freaked out by the idea of owning a sex toy. I mean, I just was scarred for life by the time that someone held one of those creepy things against my back and wouldn't turn it off. It messed me up pretty bad and I can't help but think of how traumatized I would be if half the freaky stuff that happened with that bumble ball would happen with a sex toy.
Oops, never mind.
my boyfriend saw his xmas present wrapped up today and its in a tiny box and he said oh it'll have to be jewellery (i told him he could wear it) because i don't seem sexual enough to pop down the shops and buy him a cock ring... so i've done just that :p popped down to frills (a sex shop in town) and bought him a cock ring and me my first toy :) it wasn't as hard as i thought :D
^That's cute, it should be a nice surprise. Tell us how he reacts :D
[QUOTE=Sirene;159626]So, a month after my girlfriend suggested we get a vibrator & a butt plug, I asked her to come to the computer to show her some vibrators (she didn't want to go to a shop, she would get embarrassed) she replies with "yeah whatever", I said to her "what's wrong, you suggested it", she says that she knows she did but it scares her.
She obviously likes the idea of it, but now has negative feelings about it. I know she's the type to like that kind of thing, but how can I make her feel better about actually buying them?
Should I buy them & suprise her with them, or should I get her to agree on picking one out with me in the internet?
How can I make her feel more comfortable with going through with an idea she suggested, & likes the sound of, but it's just actually coming to it & going through with it, even with a degree of anxiety about it?
Thanks[/QUOTE]
why not buy things online..or you can get one for her as a present...
[QUOTE=bryrw06;159717]it wasn't as hard as i thought[/QUOTE]
Okay ... I guess that explains why you bought him a cock ring.
looool!!!!!!!!! that too :p
shop for them online and discuss what you feel about looking at them. When my hubby and I first started looking i was mortified and disgusted and now I can't get enough of them. It doesn't have to be a vibrator you could try a game we bought cards and the foreplay is amazing with them which then leads to great sex so have a look and see what you fancy if all else fails go back to basics and get some sexy underwear.