My wife and I have been married a little over a year. We have a great sex life, don't get me wrong. My wife does not seem to enjoy masturbating. She enjoys when we masturbate each other, but has no interest in playing with herself. Is there any way to get her interested in it? I think she would really enjoy it and, not to sound selfish, but just the thought of her touching herself drives me wild!
Wed, 03/24/2010 - 11:58
#1
She Doesn't Like To Masturbate
Mike--I hear you! I was married for 34 year to a woman who loved to play with herself, and would oblige me any time. She actually loved to give herself one last climax after we'd had sex, by using her vibrator and me touching her. That IS hot for sure. My new wife of 18 months has yet to masturbate for me. We have great sex several times a week, and I KNOW she used to masturbate, because she was widowed for a long time before we got together, and under her bed was a vibrator and about 500 burnt-out batteries! I've talked about it with her, and she says she used to but now that she has me, she's "over that." I'd like to see her pleasure herself just to see how she likes to get herself off--it's a very valuable learning experience for the guy to watch his woman do herself. I've told her that too, and she says I'm doing just fine. Maybe it's an intimacy she's not quite yet ready to share in front of me as yet...
Michael
You can tell her what you told us for openers.
> She enjoys when we masturbate each other, but has no interest in playing with herself.
It is very possible that this is a matter of being self conscious and timid. If you talk to her about this, be enthusiastic and encouraging, never pushy or demanding. If it happens it happens, if not, continue to rock her world in other ways and derive enjoyment from what you do.
Secondly, has she learned to have orgasms regularly and consistently while masturbating?
Yes, or no, I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles listed in the Index and then discuss what you have learned.
I've spoken to her about it before. She says that she just doesn't get excited by touching herself. Is that normal? Most other women I've talked to openly admit to masturbating. I know I enjoy masturbating, so I guess I just have trouble understanding the idea of not enjoying it.
Mike, I recommend that the two of you read the several articles listed in the Index regarding the various aspects of the female orgasm and masturbation.
There can be several reasons why she has little to no interest, ranging from all the negative attitudes given her during childhood such "as nice girls don't do that" to a lack of sex drive.
As noted, earlier, I wouldn't push the matter. Orgasms are not the biological imperative for women that they are for men, and women can thoroughly enjoy sex without orgasms. That said, if she enjoys being aroused and stimulated by you, then be happy and content with this. Women are not men so you have to look at what they respond to and how thru a different set of filters.
Excuse me, but whether she does or doesn't isn't really the point here. You are asking her about something she may not want to discuss with you for several reasons and, frankly, I question your motives - it makes you hot to think of her masturbating - are you absolutely sure that she does NOT see this as you being pushy not for her benefit but for yours?
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