So my girlfriend and I are somewhat new to sex. We've had sex about 10 times now. Sex no longer hurts her but shes worried because she hasn't started to feel pleasure during sex. Is this something typical for a girl new to sex or is this something we need to worry about. She's really worried that she'll be one of those woman later on in her life that doesn't feel any pleasure at all during sex. Please help!!
Wed, 03/14/2007 - 21:32
#1
She doesn't feel anything during sex
Pleasure meaning; nothing (oral or manual stimulation) feels good? Or she does not orgasm? Out of curiosity, how old is she?
When I was 14-17, Intercourse was okay, it really did nothing for me. Touching, kissing, and hugging did the most for me, it felt really nice. Oral at 16-17 was okay, but I was too self-conscious to enjoy it. When I was 17, a light bulb went on one day...I had an orgasm from penetration, and it's happened ever since. I think it takes awhile to become comfortable and not be self conscious during the deeds.
Maybe she just is not learning to enjoy it yet and not relaxing yet?
Shes 21 years old and has yet to experience an orgasm. And she really enjoys oral and having her clit rubbed on. But she doesn't feel anything during sex and shes worried about it. I told her to give it time since we've only been having sex for about a month. But thank you for your input. It was really helpful.
Has she ever experienced an orgasm on her own? If not, she should try masterbating to see what feels good and how to get it to happen; then she needs to show you or convey the info to you. She may need different pressure. I'd tell her to hang in with the intercourse part, it all takes time.
As far as intercourse, after she figures the first part out. Start in missonary and you keep a nice, slow, constant, speed; don't change unless she asks you to. Have her raise her hips, then try raising her legs, try putting them flat, try tightening up around you, grinding, etc. That way she can figure what feels good for her...
It's also important that you give her LOTS of foreplay before hand.
Most women can't have an orgasm if they aren't being stimulated on their clitoris. Try different positions where she can rub her clit against you or have her stimulate herself during sex. There is nothing wrong with her, she just needs to learn how her body works with yours, that's all. It takes time.
Good luck.
She has to permit herself to enjoy it. So often sexual problems and sexual pleasures begin in the brain. Masturbating, please note the correct spelling, is an important beginning. Once you have an orgasm - there is no going back. You also tend to want more orgasms. My point is that her enjoyment or lack thereof isn't based upon anything you are or aren't doing. You can help but this is something for her to work out.
So I talked to my girlfriend and it turns out that she does masturbate. Not often but she has definitely had an orgasm. So this definitely was a positive because it made me realize it was possible for me to give her an orgasm. So I talked to her more about it and told her to not feel pressured to try to have an orgasm when I do down on her. Just to let it happen, not have expectations, and not worry about how long it will take. So she did this and what do you know...she has an orgasm. It was amazing!! I was so proud of myself...haha. Thanks for everyones help!! You guys are amazing!!
Glad to hear that you two are on your way! That's great to hear.