My girlfriend has a hard time cumming. In fact, I've never been able to do it, we usually just have to have her finger herself when she wants to cum. Needless to say, I wish I could get her to cum, and in fact I can get very close, but I think mentally she needs to relax more to get over the hump.
Anyway, since she doesn't cum easily, I sort of feel bad whenever we have a quickie, or have sex a few times, or something, because I know she won't cum. She says she is never unsatisfied, and sex and fingering feels good, but this is new ground for me - other girls I've been with could always get off from 10 min of quick sex (or 5 min of fingering or eating). I think it's preventing me from pursuing quickies or 2nd rounds, because I feel bad.
What do you suggest?
Okay here's something to try- just remember to take your time and don't let her weasle out at any point.
Kissing, nuzzling face and neck while hugging, then a massage, then body worship which is slowly licking, nibbling nuzzling, caressing her all over then cunnilingus, then G-Spot massage by hand while doing cunnilingus, Then G-Spot massage with the lubed head of your penis and then massaging the posterior fornix with the head of your penis.
Be sure to have her positively screaming for you, before you begin massaging her G-Spot with your penis.
You also might want to whisper how beautiful she is, how erotic, how good she feels, and so on while doing all of this.
I suggest going through several of the articles in the Index and reading those that address the how-to of making out, getting off from a hand/blow job, etc. You'll find your answer in one or more of the articles.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;188127]
You also might want to whisper how beautiful she is, how erotic, how good she feels, and so on while doing all of this.[/QUOTE]
Oh yes this works! Sends me over the edge! Lots of touching too. If these two are missing for me it takes so much longer to cum.
Hmm, can you explain how to massage the g-spot or posterior fornix with my penis? I know there are certain positions that hit her g-spot harder (such as her on top, or missionary with one leg raised), but I never thought of that as using my penis to massage it.
Given your original question, you are not ready for the advanced stuff. Forget about the fornix and G-Spo and learn some reality about the female body. You and your g/f can have a great time exploring one another and the rest will fall into place. Remember only about one-quarter of all women regularly reach climax through penile penetration and thrusting. Takes a bit more than recitation from a book or website.
You say that you think she needs to relax more. Well, how about buying some massage oil and giving her a nice massage before making love or foreplay. I guess you could consider the massage to be a part of foreplay if you wanted to. Also, if she is not making enough lubricant on her own, don't feel bad about buying some Astroglide or KY Jelly. Also, keep massage oils away from condoms as any oils will degrade the latex in condoms.
Use polyurethan condoms. They are not affected by oils and, at a microscopic level, are much less abrasive.
We're not using condoms, in an exclusive relationship, so I guess that's not a problem.
After trying everything I could think of - oral, manual, masturbating her exactly as she does herself, penetration, etc... I basically asked her, are there things other guys have done that helped you cum? She said the only other thing is fingering her g-spot while fingering her clit or eating her. Any tips on how to get into this position?
This is crazy...I feel bad because I'm used to the girl cumming more than me and sooner than me. And she feels bad because (a) it's frustrating to not cum, and (b) she knows I want to help her cum...
Do cunnilingue while massaging her G-Spot? Nothing easier! Just lie down between her legs and go for it. Make sure your hands and fingernails are clean (and your nails trimmed) then insert two to three fingers, palm upwards, in about 2 inches and using just the fingertips press upward and gently stroke back and forth sliding a bit.
When you first enter, you'll feel something like a squashed grape with goosebumps on it - the more goosebumps, the more aroused she is. Then you come to an area of side by side bars then one bar going across. Behind this is a washboard area and that's where you stroke. Got it?
Go as fast and apply such pressure as will work - you should experiment a bit to find out what "touch" and what "rhythm" works best for her.
Good news!!!
I made her cum!!!
I was eating her out while stroking her G, for about 20 minutes, and I could tell she was really close. My fingers and tongue got tired, so I asked if she would help for a while. She masturbated herself for a bit, then I took back over when it looked like she was close. 2 minutes later, she was very close, but still couldn't cum. So I told her "Katie...relax..." and she came, and not once, but twice!!
I'm so happy!! :) :)
I'm also hoping that now that we got past this "barrier", she will be able to cum more easily from my touch, since it's now not a question of whether it is possible.