Ive been seeing this girl and she says she wants me to hurt her. Especially if she has been drinking. Ive talked to her about it and she said sometimes just needs to feel some pain. The thing is ive never really done anything like that before. She says she is game for anything and if she doesnt like it she will let me know. Which i beleive because she is not shy at all about telling me what she does and does not like. I really like this girl and i wanna make her happy so i could you some sugestions on what i can do to make it painful for her.
Mon, 04/27/2009 - 03:00
#1
she asks me to hurt her.
I really dislike questions like this from either gender who wants "pain". That said there is a difference between the obvious activities that can land a person in jail, and, pulling one's punches.
If she wants to be spanked, then do so, but do not go full out and leave red marks. Pull your slaps so that there is a sting without the physical damage.
If she wants this or that done then do a little bit that delivers a twinge of pain for a second.
Consider yourself to be an actor who plays a part in a movie. When creating a fight scene, they do not go at it as in real life, yet the results look real. Do the same thing. If this is not good enough for her then my suggestion is to tell her you are too fine a gentleman to take her request any further and that you are not going to inflict real pain or torture her. This ought to be good enough for any sane person. If not for her, then consider "spanking" someone else.
Talk to her about this more; when she is not and has not been drinking. Many people enjoy some degree of pain during sex. It is really amazing the variety of sensations that some people find erotic. Does she want you to "hurt" her only during sex or does she want it in a non sexual context? I think the former is fairly normal, the latter might be cause for concern.
Thrusting very hard and fast during a deep penetration coitus can be painful for women. I have known some who needed me to hold back and others who just smiled and said, "but it hurts good." Digging your nails into her buttocks during sex can be an excellent painful turn on as can erotic biting. You can begin very light and build up if she wants more. Avoid breaking the skin and the risk of infection. Some women enjoy having their pubic hair pulled during foreplay and coitus. You could try spanking her - during coitus this works best in doggy position. Some couples act out role playing games in which a authority figure spanks a naughty student or servant before seducing him/her. She might enjoy the sensation of a light weight ping pong paddle and you both might like the pop it makes as it falls on her buttocks. There are many other ways of playing with pain during sex. I think most people begin with something along the lines of what I have described.
Make sure any play of this type is authorized by her beforehand. And if she says enough then it stops immediately. Many couples have a special word for this, called a safe word.
You must use a safe word. Its about fun and its about respect. Even when the game is disrespect.
However if YOU do not feelcomfortable, YOU do NOT have to do it.
This is a partnership and you BOTH have to be "into" it to really enjoy it.
It is NOT necessary to do everything your gf asks/wants.