This has been a topic that has been frequently brought up to many readers' frustrations yet I hope my query will be a different perspective.
The main point of all of this: I am a blood donor. When giving blood in my province, the organization responsible for blood donations has many strict rules and regulations that need to be followed. One of these steps is an interview with a nurse who goes through a questionnaire. Some of these question inquire if you have taken illegal drugs with needle, have had sex for money or drugs, have had sex with anyone who has done any of these activities, had born in/lived in/had sex with anyone from certain countries from a certain time period, if you have had sex with anyone whose sexual background you do not know, etc.
At present I can answer “no” to all of these questions and give blood without a problem. The issue for me is, what happens when I start to have sex (hopefully sometime this century)? Now, if/when I have sex the responsible thing to do would be for all parties involved to get tested for STD's and use protection, etc. But when you give blood you have to satisfy a very stringent set of requirements, how can I be sure that a partner satisfies these requirements as well? I ask this because any conditions could be transferred to me and then possibly to any blood recipients. What would be a tactful way of asking someone such probing questions? I mean, these aren't typical questions one would ask, even when it comes to sexual history, and I can't think of any way that wouldn't turn this into an interrogation.
I have read elsewhere that many people find discussing their past and about possible STDs and bad habits to be difficult, many are unwilling do divulge such information out of shame. How can I be sure that I am getting all the information? Of course a certain amount of trust is involved, but my impression from the donation process is that there is absolutely no room for error, the consequences of such are too great.
Perhaps I am taking this too far; surely there are sexually active blood donors out there. I want to (when the opportunities arises) have sex, but also still be able to give blood.
What are your thoughts?
Erm...either ask them straight out (explaining why you want to know)
Or you could take them with you to donate and let them answer the nurse. :p
Alright, I guess the straight up asking approach could work, I just hope the nature of these questions wouldn't turn away a prospective partner (that's what I am worried about). I guess that's a risk I will have to take.
Anyways, I am going next week to give blood again and I will ask the nurse about the questions and if there is some leeway or if I have had sex with someone who had sex with someone who took illegal drugs with a needle, then I can never give blood again.
Knight:
It's through using safe sex practices ALWAYS and minimum of annual STD/HIV testing. I cannot give blood ever because of 1) I was stuck years ago with a persons needle while caring for a patient who was HIV + with active symptoms. 2) Found out [post marriage] my then spouse was Bi and actively with a partner prior to our meeting. 3) Have anemia.
Go through the screening process and always use condoms and all methods of additional BC; test routinely for all STD's and prior to engaging in a serious relationship; I make them get a full screen as do I, after the relationship ends I also follow up with a full screen. Only people who have clean bills of health & I am serious about [and they are as well], had the exclusive talk, can skip the condom--meaning, I was intending on or did marry the individual. For me, a man has to produce a current RX with a signed MD signature of all testing performed and must be current and negative. I also provide the same.
The only people who can "have" my blood are direct family members if they required an immediate direct donor; however, they have to sign they know my history & are willing to accept the risks...trust me, I has to be life or death for direct donations. They realize if they take my blood, they assume a risk and must sign a full consent of disclosure. Why? I nearly lost my Dad, had to give blood, the risk for him receiving my blood [with my testing having been negative] and potentially positive out-weighted the possibility of bleeding out and dying.
In short, condoms are a must and be selective of ALL sexual partners & keep yourself clean [STD free]. The short term gratification is not worth the long term risks.
Thanks for the advice. So I am clear now on doing the whole screening thing for intercourse, and I suppose I will extend the same precautions to oral sex.
Thing is, do I also have to be cautious about kissing? How far do I have to go? I guess I'm better off asking the nurse next week, but I just want to get an idea as to the scope of my safety measures. Heck I feel like I'm wrapping myself in bubble wrap! Of course the safest way would be to not come in contact with anyone, just as the safest way to not get pregnant or an STD would be abstinence, but this isn't realistic or desired.
I have to say I never thought this would be so complicated. I can't fall on experience about intercourse, oral sex or kissing, what I know is from the media (and this site). It always seemed like not a big deal: a man and a woman (or your gender of preference) getting intimate in a car by moonlight, not a trip to the doctor's office.
Oral? Same precautions. Kissing? Well you can get Mono, Strep, etc. Unfortunately, this day in age there are serious diseases which are predominant in society & can run rampant. I was younger, did not have such concerns since they were out there but not common, now single again--new rules! Years back, you worried about pregnancy alone--now it can cost you your life.
Condoms and her using a form of BC are mandatory; bubble wrap? No, just wrap the rascal! Speak with the health care provider next week; I am very careful myself and the worse risk for me came from spouses. Hence, I now set a "standard".
The interview questions deal with particularly risky behaviours and are a good first screen. These days, all donated blood is tested for HIV and a few other things.
We all lie about sex - men tend to exaggerate and women tend to minimize. Then look through all the historical posts of people who learned what they really did not want to know. Any one with a permanent STD should certainly warn partners. Beyond that, I consider my history to be mine and a partner's. Not many would approve of it either.