Attempted First Time

[Otempora25]

My boyfriend and I recently tried to have sex. It hurt me when he tried to penetrate, and it was so tight that he couldn't really enter; he was only able to get a part of the head in. I know that I don't have vaginismus because I use tampons regularly, have had a pelvic exam, and fingering isn't usually a problem. However, fingering does hurt when more than one finger is used. Our four year anniversary is coming up and we wanted to have sex. Due to the things previously mentioned, I know my hymen is still intact. I don't think anything as invasive as a hymenectomy is necessary, but I want to have a successful first time where I am not holding back tears. Are there stretches I can try? If so, then what specific stretches? It's really bothering me that I finally made the decision to have sex, only to be denied by my own body. Any advice would be appreciated.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contain links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page you will find even more information.

Originally Posted by Otempora25

My boyfriend and I recently tried to have sex. It hurt me when he tried to penetrate, and it was so tight that he couldn't really enter; he was only able to get a part of the head in. I know that I don't have vaginismus because I use tampons regularly, have had a pelvic exam, and fingering isn't usually a problem. However, fingering does hurt when more than one finger is used.

One of the articles listed in the Index details an exercise that can be used to stretch the vaginal opening and the hymen.

Our four year anniversary is coming up and we wanted to have sex. Due to the things previously mentioned, I know my hymen is still intact. I don't think anything as invasive as a hymenectomy is necessary, but I want to have a successful first time where I am not holding back tears.

You might ask your doctor if s/he will nick the hymen making it easier to penetrate; however, the membrane will give a twinge of pain regardless, after all you are creating an open wound. Hymens come in different shapes, sizes, and hole patterns, so knowing what yours looks like is important because the tip of the penis can be positioned over an opening or beside the hymen and the vaginal wall for easier penetration.

Are there stretches I can try? If so, then what specific stretches? It's really bothering me that I finally made the decision to have sex, only to be denied by my own body. Any advice would be appreciated.

An Exercise to Help Make the Hymen and Vaginal Opening More Pliable
Scroll down to this section.

I also recommend using the Woman Superior/Cowgirl position because it places the woman in complete control. This is also explained in one of the articles.

I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles listed in the Index and discuss what you have learned. Knowledge is empowering. Also, there are discussions regarding a couple's first time and things to consider you may not have thought about. Be sure to include the articles in this section: SEX e.g. INTERCOURSE

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Otempora25]

I did read over the sexual health forum, but I forgot about the FAQ. Thanks for pointing that out.

The only thing is I don't have access to a bath tub at this time, and I won't for awhile. I'm sure the hymen can be stretched while not in warm water; is it just more uncomfortable? Will it work the same?

Thank you for your advice, it is appreciated.

[dancingdoc2]

A shower will work just fine, also. The purpose is to wet the Vulva (area between the legs) with warm water relaxing the tissue and making it more pliable. If you want, place a stool or plastic lawn chair in the shower for additional comfort while performing the exercise. Whatever works; just let the water run down the front of your body. There is nothing critical about this.

[Brandye]

Sure, you can stretch anywhere you wish. It would be advisable to see a gyn again and explain what occurred. As a tampon user, you should have been stretched enough so that penetration could have been possible. Some of us have hymens that are thick enough to cause problems for a while and the doctor can help with that.