Wife has NO arousal

[adrianmas]

Since I met my wife 10 years ago, she's never had any type of arousal. Yeah, she faked it for the first 6-8 months, all women do to get her man. But after, I would talk to her and she always wanted to ignore the problem. Not sure what happened in her past, but sex to her is nothing. She doesn't get horny, doesn't feel aroused, doesn't get wet, I kiss her, hug her, tell her how much I love her and how much she turns me on. Nothing! I've asked her to go to therapy together, or by herself, Nothing! Before my wife, I've had many many girlfriends and lovers, I know how to please a woman. Everything I've tried with her nothing works. I think she's completely turned off. Like when you turn off a light bulb, that's her. I am positive she has some type of arousal disorder like FSAD. But when I approach her and tell her about it, she denies it. So, you can imagine the frustration and anger I have had for the past 10 years. We have sex maybe once every month, and lately it's been getting worse. We do have 2 young children, but that's not the problem as when we had no children, things were the same.

I'm at the point where I've exhausted my resources and have stopped initiating sex with her. it's like I am working at a dead end job and have stopped caring about it. That's the same feeling I have towards her. And I am afraid that things will never change. I am going to start seeing a therapist because with a long commute from work, problems with paying my mortgage, problems with my wife, I can't possible handle this. I am actually a living walking hormone as anyone can imagine. Will I cheat on her, you bet I will if the opportunity arrives. I am an educated man, loving and caring person and love my wife, always had. Since she's a beautiful woman, it's like have a supermodel in front of you all the time and not being able to touch her.

When I do approach her for sex, she always has something negative to say like, "All you think about is sex", "Is that all you want", "Gosh, what am I, a sex toy". Now I can understand if we were having sex 3 times a day, every day, she would have the right to say that, but having sex once a month, does not warrant her comments. I can understand if I was an abusive man, or I treated her wrong, or I was simply a jerk, but I am not. My wife is a great person and I respect and love her.

Anyhow, i guess I would like to hear from people or a doctor in here to give me some advice, suggestions, ideas. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

[Buck Naked]

That's tough. I've went through short periods of what you are going through and it sucked. The bright side for me is it always went away. After the birth of our children my wife's sex drive was low, but that was to be expected. I can't imagine how I would be feeling after close to a decade of it. My self esteem was pretty low and that was after a fraction of the time you're talking about. Seeing a therapist sounds like a very good idea. Good luck!!

[Rouge]

Again, bluntness.

"is that all you think about?"

"I'd think about it less if we had sex more often."

"Am I a sex toy?"

"No, a sex toy is available whenever I'm horny. You definitely don't fit the profile"

Yes, these answers are likely to start a fight, but I've learned that the occasional fight is a very good catalyst to getting an end to something, or at least opening the matter when one party refuses to acknowledge a problem.

[Brandye]

Do not make us go through the same stuff on multiple threads. OK, you have kids not mentioned in the other. Without professional help she will not change. Perhaps receiving the divorce papers will jolt her to some action to help herself but ..... therapy for yourself is better than none at all. May get some ideas on coming apart.

There are stereotypes of women's sexuality expressed in the original post and by Buck.

[pinkFlames]

Originally Posted by adrianmas

....... Yeah, she faked it for the first 6-8 months, all women do to get her man....

Since when?

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by adrianmas

, she faked it for the first 6-8 months, all women do to get her man. .

ALL WOMAN DO .... Please Do not put pathetic untrue comments like this, ever again

Have you slept with all the woman in the world????

As for your problem .. Well I stopped reading after the quoted sentence
Others here have more patience then I do so they will help lol