Getting my Tubes tied

[KMB]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to write this,

I'm thinking of getting my Fallopian Tubes tied, I know I'm still young and have so many years to think of this but me, my mom and my dad think it's a good idea. I mean I really don't see myself taking care of a kid my whole life and there will be kids around me in my life where I don't have to have full responsibility on taking care of a kid.

I'm a little nervous about this and I do want to get it done, but before I do I just want to make sure my boyfriend doesn't want kids.

and I am certainly not going to get the surgery done by my parent's choice.

I'm doing it for me.

[dancingdoc2]

How old are you?

How long have you and your boyfriend been together?

How many boyfriends have you had to date?

Are you in school? What grade?

Are you employed?

When do you see yourself settling down and married?

What do you see yourself doing in five years? Ten years?

Do you see your present relationship as a "keeper"? If so, what does your man say about having children?
Yes? No? Maybe? How many? If yes, regardless of the number, how long into the relationship do you
see your first pregnancy? Will you be able to afford children then?

What do you plan to do the the thousands of dollars over twenty years that would not go to the expense
of raising offspring?

[KMB]

I'm 18 almost 19

Been with my boyfriend for a year and a half

and Nope I graduated high school am in my second year of college.

like I said I know it's early to want to, and I am still thinking about it since I'm on the pill. I'm thinking of getting them tied because I know I wouldn't be very good at taking care of a kid.

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by KMB

I'm thinking of getting them tied because I know I wouldn't be very good at taking care of a kid.

Nearly no one thinks they'll be very good at taking care of a child, until they have a child to take care of. Instincts kick in.

If there is ANY chance, IN THE WORLD, that you could change your mind at some point and want to have a child of your own*, DON'T do anything permanent right now. Absolutely do not do anything permanent without fully discussing it with your boyfriend.

*It's worth noting that if you take a permanent route and down the road your mind should happen to change about children, there's always adoption.

[KMB]

Thank you, I needed some other people's opinions other then my parents. I mean I love children and I am going to talk to my boyfriend. but my mom said to me it would make me and my boyfriend miserable with each other if I couldn't take care of a child.

But I'm just going to live my life and think about it, I really do love kids but I'm only 18

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by KMB

But I'm just going to live my life and think about it, I really do love kids but I'm only 18

Do you have any friends with children? There's always babysitting to get a tiny taste of what it would be like.

I highly suggest you don't make any final decisions right now.

And no offense to your mom, but I really don't get her issue....what, she doesn't want to be a grandma someday?

[KMB]

Well my older sister has a daughter she's 4 but a lot of people babysit her. But I watch her when she comes over to my house. I think it's nice but hard. One time I was tired and didn't want to watch her and I kind of felt stupid because if i have children I won't be able to rest and ignore them

Yeah i totally told my mom that I want to talk to my Boyfriend since it's for us not her.

I have no idea why my mom is wanting me to risk a big decision. I guess since she has me it's tons of work from a baby to teenager, and she and my dad are divorced.

But I wish she would see that it's different for a lot of women I'm sure.

She's making me feel pushed.

To tell the truth my dad is saying I should wait to get my tubes tied also and I agree with you and my dad.

[dancingdoc2]

Hi back,

The reason for asking you all the questions (as well as those looking over your shoulder at this thread) is to learn where you are in life. Having been 8, 12, 16, 18, 25, 35, I can tell you that we are different people at different stages of life. For some their core values will change, others, their priorities, still others, will have more coping skills and different interests as the years go by and as they develop.

It is perfectly fine not to want or rear children. Please do not think we are urging you to change your mind or substitute our ideas for your own. I believe what we are encouraging you to do is to understand that in ten years you will likely be a different person than you are today. Once you get thru school, become established in a job or profession, have a bank account, have done some traveling and experienced more of what life has to offer, you may just change your mind. It is the "might" that we want you to understand and consider strongly.

I'm with you, as much as I like children, I would make a wonderful grandfather because I can visit with the children for a few hours and then send them home at night. Works for me. I have and I know a couple of men and women who have never married or had a live-in relationship, this is their choice and there is no right or wrong about it. It's simply what works for them. So, you may or may not make major changes in your life as you continue to develop, and, you may continue not to want children; all this is quite fine.

If in ten years you feel the same way, then do the deed. In the meantime, if your chosen method of birth control is working well, just continue on. If you want to investigate another type, then consult your doctor. (I can tell you from experience, each past decade will go by much speedier than the ones before, so while looking ahead at 28 seems far away, I can assure you that the perception of time will make it seem like months once you are there.)

Take the money you would be spending on one or more children and bank most of it. What remains, spend on traveling, and, other interesting things--like dance lessons for example. DO NOT waste it all away on fancy cars, boats, or luxury items, or, an expensive house. These if ever, should come later. As the economy has shown many people recently, they shoulda had mo' money in the bank and not splurged on a house that was clearly out of their means.

I applaud your decision, yet as others have advised, recommend not doing anything that ordinary contraceptive means have handled quite well for decades.

[nuttychick]

Ok Im going to say this .. Don't be offended lol

Your mother is a right bitch, how dare she try and push this onto you, What right does she have to stop you having children of your own. If she was my mother I would tell her to F off

I was almost your age when I had my first child and didnt want to be a mother and didnt think I would be able to look after a baby (my mother also said I would make a terrible mother lol). But that baby is now over 21....... So I done it.. maybe not the perfect mother but
It all seemed to slip into place...

You are still very young to decide on this .. I suggest you wait untill
you are atleast in your late 20's before deciding weather you
would like to have children..... maybe get an IUD instead of being on the pill?
At your age your mother should not be trying to influence your future

[lnt1103]

Yeah, see the OP's mom makes me angry too.....